Beautiful and delicate, giving off a sweet aroma, intoxicating the naive. Like a rose, you are dangerous. Preying on the innocent with false smiles and deceiving looks. Not everything meets the eye. You engulf the ignorant in a dark abyss of unlawful hopes and desires. You trick them, like the monster you are. Like a rose, you don't know how you lie. When looking at a rose, you stare at the beauty, not the danger. Thorns sneak up and ***** your finger, drawing out your precious red, plentiful fountain of life. However, without it's petals, it would be nothing but a thorned stem. Like you, your nothing without your lies. The rose loses it's beauty and alluring scent, and you lose your looks and charm. Underneath, you are just a hungry thorn on a stem, waiting toget a trickle of blood upon your tip.

On Sunday, I open up the house
to let in the June morning
to ease cobwebs from the empty rooms,
to efface dreams
adhering to the surfaces.

The weather—
of late, inimitable oppression—
has broken, and at last
we have a little serenity.

At noon, the hour of baptism,
the bed is stripped of its clothes—like a woman
praying for her old voluptuousness.

I wash the sheets in cold water
laced with lavendar and mint,
hiding thyme in bunches in the mattress
to conceal the taste of sleep
and mad dreaming.

I make a breakfast of mango slipped
from the flesh, orange water, cheese
& bread sprinkled with oils & thyme,
sweet plums. All day,
I do not speak a word.

One afternoon (or many of them),
I spent hours just sun worshipping.
It was easier than dreaming, you
could come away with a cleaner feeling.
The liquid of sunshine in the veins
was clarity.

Every so often, tempted by the suggestion of being born,
I stand naked in sun,
reminding myself of distant pilgrims who
prayed to the air or sang
their parched hymns to some tranquil god.
I search for him in the dazed clover,
my fingers grazing sound,
the tender in the long grass, all summers
distilled and scattered  through these empty rooms.

I am praying, praying.

if life’s a house of cards, each hand that she was dealt was too much or too little
and even when she changed the game the hands she played they broke her every time

she only wanted her child to succeed

someday she will be happy, someday she will go back
someday she’ll cut right down that scar and her heart will breathe again

if life’s a bowl of cherries well she broke her teeth when she would bite into them
the fruit was sour but the juice ran down her chin - we all thought it was blood

she only wanted to be loved like a queen

someday she will be thankful, someday she will come back
someday she’ll open up her head and her dreams will live again

~~

and if life’s a box of chocolates you know she prefers, well, any other candy
specifically valentine’s hearts because she likes to bite them down the center

she only wants it all

well life’s a game of russian roulette if she loads the gun you pull the trigger
the early bird will get the worm, the worm will get the fish hooked with one line

she’s different, different now

but someday she will be hopeful, someday she won’t look back
someday she’ll pack her bags, she’ll hit the road, we’ll meet again

sitting in a dark room,
head throbbing,
unaware of where you are,
you search for something,
anything that will help you escape,
brisk night air greets you,
it is coming from your left in the corner,
as you shuffle closer
you hear a hiss coming from the opposite wall,
this is your sign to leave,
finding a hole in the wall leading outside,
you jump out,
running,
before you can think you are,
running,
faster than you thought possible,
through a field,
then into the woods,
running until you can no more,
all you can think is...
**"Did I escape?"

I want to be

so

very





far away





from

here.


Far from the barns and bumble bees.
Far from the cornfields and cows.
Far from the dirt roads and ducks.

I love all these things.
But I want to run very




far away.


It’s never been more difficult to breath the country air.
It’s never been more difficult to forget the speed of passing time.
It’s never been more difficult to… exist.

I cherish this place.
I will hold it in my heart,
When I disappear to somewhere very



far away.

I’m flying in the light
I swallow my pain and fear,
As I hear angels and devils fight
I can shed only a single tear.
Entrancing ghosts circle the air,
The feeling of terror is waning,
The virginal silence starts to tear,
The one tear I shed, is staining.
Words in the air, the quiet is going.
Colorful vapors hover over the path.
Sticky life, hangs on to the crying spirits.
Once more, I feel Gods wrath,
And hear his cherubs haunting lyrics.
Oh Jesus! God’s queen is sweet.
Strangely, it’s peaceful behind the light.
I must now bow down and kiss her feet.
I can only help myself in heavens plight.
Red bugs ooze from crystalline water.
I stomp on them with my shoes.
She gazes, knowing no one can stop her.
For me, this is surely not good news.
An angel’s child I am to bear.
Awaken! The birthing is hard.
This one child I cannot love, I swear.
From now on, I cannot fault my guard.
Deaths life is unafraid,
But I know that his love for me is hesitant.
This life of death I have made,
But my lover’s fury is notoriously unpleasant.
My chance to flee across the river Styx,
It finally arrives, just on time.
A bribe to the rower is my quick fix.
I tell my beautiful evil child everything is fine.
But then I can throw her off the boat,
And tell her that her next life will be better.
I know it’s over when her curls cease to float.
My last words to her, were that of my last only love,
To tell her that if God had a better plan,
He had better start working hard up above.
I have relinquished his holey wingspan.
But now with who can I seek my final shelter.
For a price of passion I can take a final board.
This mans love is enough to make life swelter.
But I know I can end it all again, with this rope and cord.

The longer I fall, the more I doubt the bottom
Will ever rise up to meet me and end it
The more I stare at blue eyes I’m lost in
I realize I’m trying my best to spread out and wing it
I have a little bit left at least a few hundred more breaths
To get it right, to stand up tall and not put up a fight
To a friend to a lover, let my heart see the sky
I don’t have to be my scars or the product of my lies
I could always be what you think you see in my eyes
I know I could be one in a million
But most of the time I feel like a disjointed skeleton
Pieces to a puzzle that no one is building
I would grow but my sky is blocked by the ceiling
So leave me here for the winter I need healing
I need to be alone to understand why I’m leaning
On all these liquor bottles just to stand
I’m old enough to just be a man
No excuses just the bible and a plan
I was taught better and worse than this
But I can keep on straddling this fence
So I’m letting go just to find a new grip

Were has it gone
It’s gone, it’s gone away
Where, where has it gone and will it return
I do not know, can’t say yes, and can’t say no, so maybe
But not today, today it remains away, it continues to allude
Tomorrow perhaps
Perhaps tomorrow is a new day bringing a new perception
A new day to wait to hope to pray please come back tomorrow

Waiting silently for its return,
To the horizon gazing
Cry out come back, come back, come back please
Only a whisper is heard through the racing of thought
Please come back

A quiet drink you say,
Sounds nice if I may.

What hustle and bustle;
Can’t move a muscle.

Can you feel that beat;
Can’t stand the heat.

Was that wine or a beer?
So loud I can’t hear.

You fancy a what?
Here, have a nut.

What was that you say?
You want to stay.

Sod this for a laugh,
I’m off home for a bath.

There is no light here,
no color,
only vibrations.
the feel of my arm
moving against yours.

my body is a temple
and the movement flows through me,
as i sway like
cool grass during summer nights,
the only thing grounding me.

there are no words only sounds
swift and direct.
i can feel the tempo increasing,
heat possessing me,
the air thickening.

do you know me like i know you
feel me like
i breathe you
need me like
i exist for you?