the way you write, it's as though you understand everything 
but you act against this logic

my explanation is so simple I doubt you'll understand anything 
I hide inside the pen ink

all these pictures in my mind
I've lost the plot and press rewind
the film is good, the reels have spun
but what I've seen has come undone 
I can't retain the stories told
they keep on slipping from my hold 
the screen I watched is blanket white
but can't be seen without a light
it's never day and always dark
I blocked the sun with my own heart
I feel it beat and listen close
it's fainter still, I've grown morose
so tell me please, it's all a dream
the final frame will tear the seam

come out come out - stop whispering my name
i cannot keep going on the borderline of sane
i cannot pretend that i want to play your game

i cannot believe what my eyes do not sustain

come out come out - stop shadowing your name
you cannot just stand there and hide beside your shame
you cannot belittle me against your naked frame

you cannot convince me that I am just the same

come out come out, i know you want to stay
but if you do i'm certain i will never see your face
i'll amount to nothing while you eat up all my grace

*and let you make a home in me to fill the empty space

You and I we are both good at what we do
But I'm on a whole different level than you
You're mapping out the mind, I'm blurring all the lines
Lacing every thought with a dose of cyanide 
I contain the colors that you cannot create
All because I've reached an uncharted mental state
And never will I tell you nor will I unveil
How it is and where I go, you'll have to find the trail
Speak away your conscience and bury it with deeds
Then imagine how to nourish what your body needs
Soon you will be restless, just as I once was
Or maybe I'm just saying this like everybody does
I can see you're doubtful, perhaps you want a clue
But time and space will prove again, eternity chose you

I put to rest my spirit and let it fall asleep
and into dreams I stepped with ease, my life began to seep
passing through my fingers like water through a net
I felt it slip away from me and gradually forget
as memories became me, I travelled further on
and distance seemed to hide itself so I could be its pawn
destination: nowhere, relative to lost
kept inside a journal inked with all the paths I crossed
I find myself a corner, a quiet place to read
and let the words turn every page by sprouting from their seed
my journey hasn't ended, forever it will last
but I know my encrypted map is locked within my past
awakened from my slumber, I take up what is mine
the body I was covered in for purposes divine
I'm telling you my story, the only thing I know
a testimony brought to life by every single 'no'

Vladik Vladik
by the sea
I crossed the bridge
and felt your breeze
but people walk
imposingly
and keep their face
a mystery
because of this
I only see
a sadness in
the city streets
Vladik Vladik
by the sea
it got too cold
I had to leave

Stop the talking, I need peace
Your words augment as I decrease
Keep those stories in your head
Where they belong and stay unread
'Cause if you throw them all around
What is caged will be unbound  
So latch your lock and find the key
Let it turn and set you free

Pick your high
Stake your life
Inject time
Through your spine
Tell your mind
What to bind
Ride the tide
Press rewind
When you find
What to hide
Place a sign
Right behind
Close your eyes
Step aside
Open wide
Finish line

time shrinks
she thinks
like ice in rinks
and overflows the sinks
she blinks
seeing shades of pinks
they're links
living on the brinks
a jinx
[she] turns into a minx
and drinks
unlinks
empties out the sinks
and shrinks

We made our way through the sunflower field
I watched you collect all the seeds you peeled  
Their shells like a light in my hands I sealed 
So I'd never unsee what we are

As you moved along down the dainty path
I stayed behind, found a wooden lath
Its walls became host to the brooding wrath
That had forced you to wander afar

See, somewhere amid our excursion here
Came a moment that dimmed what had been made clear
We polluted ourselves with the atmosphere 
Of the mimic that hid in the air

But even if odds are stacked to the sky 
And we find ourselves in a cloud just as high
I have held on to the specks of our shine 
You'd entrusted inside of my care


I'll wait, you will see what we are

I
slept
inside
your
head
last
night -

and

you

knew

I've seen a trail that leads to the sky
that if I said I walked I'd be telling a lie
Instead I just stand here and let out a sigh
while something inside me stirs up a cry
I'm barely coherent and wondering why
my body decays but I do not die
Upon whom or what can I wholly rely
when purpose to life I cannot apply
This mind is the center of all I deny
blooming with thoughts that keep running dry
Lassitude follows and I will comply
create here a knot that I can't untie
I'm soaking in tints of thick heavy dye
and letting the color drain from my eye
I feel so much lighter as if I could fly
so set me on fire and watch me go by
I'll burn off the fuel of what I defy
and be left alone in my blueprinted high
You may all think my plans went awry 
until you uncover my motive - the 'why'
     


         the 'what I've been hiding all of this time'

Everybody here is just the same
Looking for a way to play this game
Trying to perpetuate their name
Daft inside, appearing to be tame

Splitting at the seam of their own hands
Becoming slaves to all of their demands
It seems as though everyone here stands
But unveiled minds reveal the distant lands

If I speak out, they won't hear anything
So underneath a whisper I will sing
The notes, I hope, may offer them a string
And carry on the tune I wish to bring

My eyes begin to close like heavy gates
I fall into a slumber with their fates
And as I travel on my dream creates
A being juxtaposed against its *hates

it just drives me mad, this 'not knowing why'
when every prescription has been a sheer lie
I took in large doses - your words, your sighs
and shot up my veins your perfect half-smiles
I have only questions in stripped away pride
a naked awareness in front of your eyes
I'm clenching my fists between shaking thighs
untangling the webs of my memory vines
they grew on a wall made of our times
shaped by the hands of the artist inside
the moment we made our lives intertwine
I came alive in the sun that you shined
give me your heat, I'll take it in stride
and pack it away for the days that you hide
I am all yours, tell me you're mine
and we'll dance in step, our bodies will rhyme

I know a man who thinks he can
Talk in circles and still demand
That people rise at his command
The moment he lifts up his hand

Stranger still is his ambition
One he deems a worthy mission
He proclaims that his ignition
Only turns with his permission

He walks around with head held high
And looks at no one in the eye
His body language speaks a lie
As if to say he'll never die

They claim he's always been this way
A man immune to making change
And yet he knows that come what may
He can't escape the final day

The hours pass as time rolls on
And he proceeds to move along
Convinced that he has surely won
He executes his closing con

Now he's gone

Since everything is backwards here
can you just be my compass, dear?
I'm sick of giving in to fear
and letting it ordain

Asunder we have grown with time
the paths we walked a scene of crime
so even if we tried to climb
our steps would be in vain

I asked you once and you replied
by putting both your legs in stride
Instead of acting as a guide
you multiplied my pain

I'm pushing through the foggy glass
and soon the day will come to pass
when I align our heavy past
with all the others slain

He stands in the corners of all his thoughts to elude visibility
pacing, carefully tracing his steps along the lines that connect them
and make him coherent
He likes to make this trip and no one ever expects him -
he just shows up and collects
His mind stores things
he keeps people there then walks about, spits them out,
leaves them everywhere

He spends his days expelling  curses, claims it helps him focus
And he reasons like an insane man does -
with too much passion and not enough pain (the good kind)
But you can't tell him that, you can speak but he won't listen
He'll write you in while you write him off,
then appear on the outskirts of some dream you're having
or conjure up your next nightmare
This drifter will  be there

He'll seek out the holes in your brain and live there,
spend the time to make you his mime
Then through your veins he'll live divine,
feed you words that he's disguised
And while you choke on bitter rind,
he'll string you up, a wooden chime

He'll take the song that you contrived
and pen his name upon the lines

Lately when I wander I step on shards of glass
I don't know where they came from or how long this will last
I take them out in pieces and place them in a jar
A puzzle to be figured out once I'm up to par


Meanwhile in my pocket rests a blackened frame
A trinket with a handle that's making me feel sane
I grip it with my fingers and hold it in my palm
And give these eyes a cover with my own salty balm


A gift I once received so I could go explore
It took away my fear to walk through any door
By it I saw clearly, my vision was repaired
Until I dropped it on the ground and thus became impaired

...

He tells me to walk backwards and trust my every step
My memory will guide me as long as I will let
Now I don't mind the piercings from the shards I pass
My grandpa mapped his life with this magnifying glass

I am a fish and you are the sea
  Half of your waters contained within me
Frozen or flowing I need you around
  To keep me from earth that can gather and bound
I'm flaking with salt that falls off my bones
  Releasing itself into bodies unknown
Who will I save and who will I ****
  With the levels I spread taken in by the gill
Keeping away from the surface of light
  I swim in the deep and put up a fight
The pressure surrounds me on every side
  And within its grip it is harder to hide
The farther I go, the less that I see
   "Where is my sight?" said the fish to the sea

Let's you and I
Climb up high
Into this hive
And hide our lives
Inside

We'll disappear
Into our fears
So no one hears
Or sees our tears
We're mirrors

Come with me
My honeybee
I'll make you free
Just place your knees
Upon the tree

My home is dark
It's like this bark
And you're the spark
I need to start
My heart

Our light in beams
We'll invade dreams
And float like streams
In people's screams
It seems

A macrame
Of honey stains
Adorns the face
Of our dismay
And stays

We live and die
Inside our hive
Just you and I
Til the end of time
But why?

I'm watching the holes in your body expand,
the patterns within them obscure
Can you not see that you're being exposed,
how are you still so unsure?

Teeming with questions of relative size,
look to your dreams while there's time
Spend every second closing your eyes,
wait 'til the darkness subsides

Walk to the edge of the vision you're in,
gather the fruit from its tree
Store it away in a heap on your head,
carry it back to reality

When you return from your traveling state,
open your mouth and exhale
What you took in from the places you were
will slowly uncover a trail

The light from its soil reflects off your skin,
flooding the gates of your soul
With hands at your sides you look to the sky,
allow it to fill every hole

It's been so hot these past few years
my sweat drips off in beads
Sometimes it's mixed with salty tears
I'm tasting all my needs


     This tongue is apprehensive now
     but tries to keep the peace
     Until its chant becomes a vow
     and mumbles without cease



  I wander down a curvy path
  while talking to the air
  I feel like I should take a bath
  but first I'd have to care


    Such filth I've known and come to see
    all over my own flesh
    The heat hits an intense degree
    and I begin to mesh



   Encased within a tangled knot
   The vines are getting thick
   I finally know what I am not
   and try to get out quick


It's then I hear the strongest cloud
forming from my pain
My silence grows to very loud
and welcomes latter rain

I wrote you a letter and took it to bed
To ponder upon all the words that I said
Some of them sank like the heaviest lead
And I started to doubt whether they should be read
A hot pursuit broke out while I tread
I thought I'd be running until I was dead
But when I inhaled the scent of their bread
I stopped pressing onward and ate them instead
My mind began racing, so quickly it sped
Causing a halo of smoke overhead
I realized the ink from the pen never bled
The letter I wrote was all in my head

The wall went up some time ago
a canvas it became
And painted on each empty space
were remnants of a name

With hues of green and indigo
the background disappeared
But I could see the slightest trace
of eyes that never feared

I stared a while and didn't blink
I wanted to compare
The weakest strokes in every line
so I could be unfair

The lesson here, I start to think
is nothing worth a price
A jealousy that fills the spine
and turns into a vice

A house is built around the wall
but how long will it stand?
The rooftop bends like flimsy boards
held with a rubber band

The day that it begins to fall
I'll stack up all the cards
And then the painted eyes it hoards
no longer will be guards