sometimes I feel invisible, sometimes I feel so seen
but mostly I exist inside the subtle in-between
I tarry in the stillness, let it satisfy my soul
but carry all the pieces that You give to make me whole

on paper I am brighter than the sun on any day
but underneath my skin I am another kind of way
I give up all the energy I have inside of me  
and leave myself with nothing more than everything I need

today I feel as visible as every kind of Grace
I walked into this morning knowing I would see Your Face
the papers I’ve been reading made their way out of my hands
so here I am rewriting all the words I know I can

I talk to you in private, more than anybody knows
I tell you all my secrets and it satisfies my soul
you walk with me my daily route and always stop to ask
“I’m here to stay, I’ll always be, but where do your feet stand?”

I’m walking on the soil now, I’m testing out terrain
I’ve walked through some that bit me back and made me feel insane
I don’t know what to tell you now, but I know how to be
I know I am the part of you that I can always see

I talk to you in private, like I’m talking to myself
I tell you who I want to be, but I’m  somebody else
I am not you, your are not me, we are not black and white
I’ll meet you in the middle where the colors come alive

if I am unbecoming all the words you’ve never read
then I can take my time while I go walking through your head
you’ll never even see me and you’ll never even know
I’ll speak into your body, may it reap what it will sow

if I am unbecoming all the traits in me you knew
then I will be the mountain you will not know how to move
you’ll never even feel me and you’ll never even think
I’ll be with you forever, every single time you blink

but

if I am unbecoming all the words you’ve ever read
then I will pick my body up and bury it instead
you’ll find me in the in-betweens, in laughter and in sighs
I’ll be in every single breath, you never will know why

I felt my heart be still tonight, I focused on my breath
I rearranged my thoughts so I could get out of my head
I started building bridges and I crossed them every day
I learned about my body in a certain kind of way

I picked apart the memories I’d never written down
and realized carnality was always on the ground
to go below its surface took another kind of strength
I’d never be this human ever in my life again

I spoke my truth indelibly, with every cell in me
and fell apart in ways I didn’t know that I would need  
I felt my heart go still tonight, I focused on my life
I went to sleep with Hope that I would see another night

see, there is a moment, a speckle in Time
when you’re in the darkness before you see Light
you follow the patterns inside of your brain
and relive the memories that caused you such pain

but somehow your heart stirs the body it keeps
and offers perspectives you never could see
you choose to start living and breathing anew
you pick up the pieces, surrender to Truth

see, there is a moment, a second you get
to live in your body or die in your head
the latter comes easy, society says
the former is work for the rest of your breaths

it could have been through one of us that change was being made
it could have been through one of us that change was causing pain  
it could have been through one of us that change would make us fail
but change has moved through all of us, together we’ve set sail

inhaling waves of water I’ve been catching all my life
I realized my fisticuffs were never only mine
it’s never been just one of us, it’s always been us all
together we would rise or separated, we would fall

it could have been through one of us that change was never made
it could have been through all of us that change would choose to stay  
it could have been that none of us would ever learn to stand
but we are in the water now, together, hand in hand

if you could hear the dissonance between your mind and soul
would you put up a fight or would you let it take control?
would you give in to anger or be humbled in its midst?
would you consider dying to the things you can’t resist?

if you could hear the voices of the present, future, past
would you become a pillar or an ever-moving mass?
would you pack up your life entire for where you want to go?
or would you turn your head around to everything you’ve known?

if you were offered nothing but a Promise you can’t see  
would you surrender all the things that bring you to your knees?
would you call flesh your person or the part of you that is
a vessel for your Soul to carry out what you let in