oh me oh my

oh me oh my Dec 2012

You told me once,
that you were afraid
of not one,
but entirely too many things.

But you said to me,
something I could relate.

You were afraid of withering old,
growing bitter at such a young age.

I drew the tiniest of white lies,
slipped through the cracks of my two crooked front teeth,
and said I agreed.

But dear,
I've become bitter,
too long ago to remember.

In the future,
I'll let you know,
make you remember back to that moment.

You were the one that made me withered and bitter.

oh me oh my Dec 2012

Unfortunately

Bitten tongues,
hardened tones,
damp, pale words,
closed ears,
silent eyes.

I could've warned you.
I wouldn't have warned you.

Maybe it was worth the while to put you through the pain I had suffered. Maybe it was wasn't worth the while to see the cold sting in your eyes.

oh me oh my Dec 2012

Cornered

Miss are you sure?
Positive you’d like to do this?
Go through with this procedure?*

Do what you have to,
please, please,
take a finger,
take a toe,
take a limb,
take my nose.

Please, please, please.

Rid me of my soul.

oh me oh my Dec 2012

Plagued

When you get down to it,
when you dig the deepest,
into the pit of the actual abyss,
you’ll see.

You’ll see lies,
white,
large,
various pieces of hearts,
shreds of humanity clinging to the hollow branches of bare limbs.

You’ll see soulless bodies, eyes glassy and skin rotten
numb to this poison radioactive air.

You get down to the pit, the actual abyss,
you’ll see where you left me.

You’ll see the little white lies, stuck in my paper calloused skin like push pins.
You’ll see the plastic encasing of large lies stuck in the back of my rotten mouth,
expect a pain stricken, desperate face.
Find a solemn, content one, knowing I had died there
in this pit, the actual abyss,
rather than with you, clouded with lies, want and the need that I can’t fulfill for you.

oh me oh my Dec 2012

Home is with you

He made it over the red brick wall, and I swear it was high, I thought it was high enough.
He wormed his way in, through the gates, through the bars.
He brought a hammer, smashed the glass.
Brought fire, bended the frames of the windows, got inside.
He brought gasoline, doused the house, doused every inch and every crevice of that home.
He dug a trench, dug it deep and wide around that house.

He had brought a bomb, lied and said it was his heart.
He left with a wire, trailing after and I thought I was safe, I trusted him.
He had brought a bomb, left it in my house, promised the smell of gasoline was a leak, and it would be fixed.
He said the damp covers and crevices were rain, since the windows were smashed.
He said the windows were destroyed because of a burglar, and he was trying to keep me safe.

He detonated the bomb, left me to burn, left me to rot with this obliterated home.

This house wasn't a home.

This house was my heart.

oh me oh my Dec 2012

Too much

He says he knows me better than he knows himself,
knows every key to every hidden lock, every crevice and crawl space, every hidden gem,
all hidden in the nook of my mind.

He says he knows,
I know.

From every inch of my mind,
to my body,
to the very pit of my sewed and bandaged heart,
he knows.

too much.

oh me oh my Dec 2012

Piece by piece

We’re scattered.

In the beginning of December, it was 70 degrees and I thought of you.
Dear, I say, I hurt, I hurt. I hurt so much for you.
Dear, you say, you say, you hurt you hurt. You hurt so much for her.
You can’t have her, oh, you hurt. I can’t have you, oh, I hurt.
We’re scattered on this earth, pieces disheveled, sharpened and broken and scattered on this earth.
I tried to pick up the pieces dear, she did and I did. She tried, I tried.
We both gave up, but you stuck with her.

We’re scattered, babe, piece by piece on this earth,
she can’t fix me, what makes you think she would be able to fix you?