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oh me oh my Feb 2014
i said,
i can find beauty
in anything
and everything.

addiction is anything.
addiction is everything.

*but it is not beautiful.
oh me oh my Jan 2013
Let your hair
wither to wheat,
***** what you eat,
but always whiten your teeth.

Marry not twice,
nor thrice,
but the fourth man
that hits your daughter,
send her to live with
her ignorant father.
I'll still throw your ******* cigarettes in the ******* trash, too.
oh me oh my Jan 2013
Attributions I cannot give;
ukelele playing,
and unmarked skin.
oh me oh my Feb 2013
I could write
a thousand worded
poem explaining why
your existence was
important and how
your mind was
irrevocably a painted
picturesque theme.

I could look
you in the eye,
lie and say
I'm happy for
I'm happy for
you, but
who am I
to tell her
all the lies
you have undoubtedly

I cannot deny
the green demons
that lurk in
my eyes
but I can,
although it is not
mine to give,
an apology
and you the will to live.

Instead I can
rebuild walls,
lie to the eye,
turn blue eyes green,
but I cannot
feel sorry for you,
only for me.
Because it was me who fell for you, and her I chose not to warn.
oh me oh my Feb 2013
they can say
opposites attract
but they don't
ever say what happens
when they meet.

we're bleach and
black clothes
and we leave each other
stained and pink and raw
and neither is the same
when it's over

one can't forget the other.

i'm bleach because
i can crackle your throat
i can sizzle your tongue
until it snaps repeatedly
words you'll never mean
and i can make you bleed

you're black clothes because
you mask others because
you want the spotlight
and i can ruin that with a drop
and i relish that thought

they can say
opposites attract,
but they never
can say what happens
because you and i
are the definition
and we know it all too well
oh me oh my Feb 2014
red bloomed across my skin,
you told us you were riddled with sin.
my nails dug into the hide,
you wouldnt let down your pride.
my hands furiously shook,
you couldnt admit you were a crook.

tears gathered in my eyes,
you swore this time you werent high.
you said dont leave me in jail,
it's the same as ****** hell.
your face was gaunt,
but i spoke naught.

i am not sorry.
do not ever do ****, please.
oh me oh my Feb 2014
death rode through the
blood in his veins,
and ate his brains.

death in his veins
****** the life,
and made him pull out the knife.

death in his system
made me never want to miss him.
i am so angry. **** messes up not only your life, but your familys, your friends, your kids, and everyone around you. dont ******* do it.
oh me oh my Dec 2012
Miss are you sure?
Positive you’d like to do this?
Go through with this procedure?*

Do what you have to,
please, please,
take a finger,
take a toe,
take a limb,
take my nose.

Please, please, please.

Rid me of my soul.
oh me oh my Nov 2012
I fell for you,

yearned for you,

trusted you.

Hell, I think I might've even loved you.

But you let me fall,

and believe me, I miss your calls,

but I think I might miss you, too.

Atleast I think I do?

Or maybe, hopefully, it's just the idea of you?

Yeah, I think that's what made me love you,


But, I think, maybe, just maybe,

I still love you.
oh me oh my Jun 2012
Destroying yourself.

Choose your poison.

Inside or Out?

Which is painful,

which is painless?

Let's ask the withered souls,

the exhausted poor,

they've reaped all they've sewn and more.

The withered souls,

they say,

it's your choice;

it's the opinion,

nobody cares;

we all die in the end.

What do you choose?
I'm not very fond of this, really, but it's one of my first and I thought that I might put it up here just for the sake of putting it on.
oh me oh my Oct 2014
there's a mantra screaming inside my brain and it's eating me alive

i can't stop thinking if she felt it or if it hurt or what she's seen
did she feel the machinery eat into her flesh and snap her bones like in a ******* movie scene

did she see the ground become the sky and the sky the ground
or did she see the trees as they grew upside down

did she see her life in her eyes
does she know that all we've done is cry

did she feel the tons of steel barrel into her and rip her limb from limb?

did she feel any fear?
a girl died today as she was getting off the bus. i did not know you, but i remember you. i am so sorry. you were only in the seventh grade. everyone saw.
oh me oh my Mar 2015
im sorry
i make your heels bleed from the eggshells,

im sorry
i bury landmines between your toes,

im sorry
i make you choke on your soft words.

im sorry i sail away.
same old same old
oh me oh my Sep 2013
i am
worn smooth and clean
i drift
from place to place

i cant
i float

i drift

i battle
the angry rapids

i float
into others
get hung up for a while

i want
what every other

i want to be washed ashore
nothing left
nowhere to be
nothing to lose

i want to be worn smooth
and clean and paled by the sun

i want someone to see me
on the shore
gleaming in the sun

*i want them to take me
home and make something of me
because im not making anything of myself
im lost and unhappy
oh me oh my Oct 2013
metallic between my fingers.
the metal throws shimmers.
eyes that no longer flash glimmers.

metallic biting into my thighs.
teeth ripping the skin of my thighs.
blood dripping down my thighs.

i sigh.
makes me calm.
makes me human.
makes me feel okay.

cant cry.
makes me disgusting.
makes me ashamed.
makes me regret.
makes me scar.

makes me hate myself even more.
Going through a rough time lately. Sorry for any triggers.
oh me oh my Sep 2014
you listen.

when he tells you

when he tells you

when he tells you

when he tells you

you listen.
because im your father, and you have to respect your parents. you're just 16, you don't know anything. you won't succeed, you'll be just like your druggy brother, your other drop out brother. you're just like my bipolar ex fiance, that's the kind of stuff she would pull, you know better. you don't need that medicine, just get over it. you're going to hell for believing in that, you don't know any better, you're just 16. you are so disrespectful to sit there and talk back to me. you're wrong, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong, im always right, you're only 16, you don't know anything. youll grow out of it, you need to do better, you need to try harder, you'll never amount to anything. you need to stop, you need to listen, you need to think. why are you crying because i raised my voice to get my point across, you weren't listening, you should've known better, you need to hear the truth. you need to get your act together, you're 16. you don't need to say things like that, you don't need to go there, you can tell them you can't go, you're only 16.
oh me oh my Jun 2013
no more
blood down
the drains

no more
band aids

no more
of rust

no more
i must

i want to be free
Over four years of fighting, I'm four months clean.
oh me oh my Dec 2014
my thoughts have become wasps and my brain is a nest
and the angry red jagged lines keep weeping from my thighs,
and all i have to say is,
because i cant change,
and i cant stop my hands from trembling;
and the dark rings under my eyes are big enough to swallow me whole
and i wish they would to save me—
oh me oh my Dec 2012
He's the little white lie tucked away in the corner of your cheek,

in the crevice of your teeth.

He's the truth in the biggest lie you keep tucked away,

hidden underneath your pillow at night when the bare limbs of the trees sway.

He's yellow--

the sun in the rain,

during midday.

He's the one that is there to impress,

the one that said he loved you,

and left.
oh me oh my Sep 2013
he wants your lips
on his
he wants your chest
in his hands
he wants your waist
against his.

he wants your skin
on his
he wants your hands
on him
he wants your legs
on his.

he doesnt want you
he doesnt want your intelligence
he doesnt want your laughter
he doesnt want you.
I do not like "growing up'
oh me oh my May 2013
they were like an
unexpected weight gain,
no choice but to adapt.

they came into his life
in a train wreck,

he fell head over heels
and wondered if he
had been enrolled back
into high school.

there was a catch,
much to his disdain.
11 and 19,
perpetually angry at
their father
at their mother
at life.

he was the blunt
victim of their rage.

the boy soon
redirected his rage
into drugs, alcohol,
***, jail.

the girl did not.

it was not his fault,
he would not let
her get to him.

but he did,
and she had grinned
at the murderous
fire in his eyes.

he screamed
and released his own
you're letting her ruin it
she knows what shes doing
shes ruining us
you're letting her ruin it
please listen to me.

tears glistened
down his cheeks,
she smiled.

he was gone,
though insults and
words remained.

that was 2 down, more to go.
I believe(know) it was my fault. I seem to be the instigator in my mother's divorces. He's happier now, we're happier now. Harm aside, it was for the best.
oh me oh my Dec 2012
He made it over the red brick wall, and I swear it was high, I thought it was high enough.
He wormed his way in, through the gates, through the bars.
He brought a hammer, smashed the glass.
Brought fire, bended the frames of the windows, got inside.
He brought gasoline, doused the house, doused every inch and every crevice of that home.
He dug a trench, dug it deep and wide around that house.

He had brought a bomb, lied and said it was his heart.
He left with a wire, trailing after and I thought I was safe, I trusted him.
He had brought a bomb, left it in my house, promised the smell of gasoline was a leak, and it would be fixed.
He said the damp covers and crevices were rain, since the windows were smashed.
He said the windows were destroyed because of a burglar, and he was trying to keep me safe.

He detonated the bomb, left me to burn, left me to rot with this obliterated home.

This house wasn't a home.

This house was my heart.
oh me oh my May 2013
today i realized
you were never
the world to me.

today i realized
you were the culprit
of my sadness.

today i realized
you were never
what you promised.

today i realized
i don't need you
and never did.

today i realized

i am okay.
i do not need you.
i'm getting better.
I am okay, for the first time I can vividly remember. I'm getting better.

This was more for me to relish than it was for others to read and enjoy.
oh me oh my Apr 2013
ill swallow
my words
ton by ton
and choke
on every
This seems pretty weak, but I'm trying to get back into my writing. I've hit a rough patch, ran out of people to go to.
oh me oh my May 2014
i need someone to tell him i am a train wreck and he's headed straight for it and he's not stopping and he's destined to crash and burn hard.

i need someone to tell him he's going to get attached and his green eyes are gonna turn red and he's gonna hate me.

i need someone to stop me from ripping open his chest and snatching his heart heart and eating it whole and watch him bleed and not be sorry.

i need someone to stop me because he doesn't deserve it because i cant make myself look at those green eyes and take my hand out of his hair.

i just need someone.

he doesn't need me.
i am so sorry for the train wreck you will burn in.
oh me oh my Jan 2013
There were times when you
me to tell,
let you unravel the cord wrapped
so tightly wound around
lies, secrets, ghosted and deadened emotions.

You weren't surprised when
the cobwebs latched in my throat,
eight legged creatures in the bend of my spine

You didn't turn around
from the ghastly sight,
nor shield your eyes.

You grabbed a broom,
grabbed a shoe.
Gathered away the webs,
swept in a pile.
Murdered the creatures,
washed the evidence,
cleaned smooth.

You grabbed a chair,
no, grabbed two.
One for me, another for
my feet.

You insisted
so incessantly.
I agreed.

You unraveled the thread,
started at my head.
Through my frontal lobe,
straightened my two crooked front teeth,
loosened my spinal cord,
kissed my scarred thighs,
lingered on my faded striped forearm,
held me close.

You gained the keys
to each and every lock.
Heard every story,
kissed every scar.

It was a sad day
when you threw the keys.
Into the black river,
threw it all away,
and instead caught her.
oh me oh my Dec 2012
Nothing could ever pull, take me away from you.

No one could ever say a word,

a single word that would make me not love you.

I could never do anything strong enough,

nothing to the slightest to make me not love you.

I'm wrapped around your finger,

tightly coiled.

Instead, I tell you to go after another before she slips away,

like I, too, let you stray.

But, I remind myself, as I wait,

if we're meant for each other,

the opportunity will come again some day.

And that time,

I will never let you stray.

I promise to love you each and every day.
oh me oh my Sep 2012
His body is covered in ink.

Not mistakes, like they think.

Just ink.
oh me oh my Jan 2013
I had
drowned in
those ocean currents
they call eyes.

Slipped away,
not a word outspoken.
Strangled with glacier hands,
fingertips of salt and
thunder cottoning my

You wanted to save me,
but I could not tell you
over the salt eroding
my throat,

that you were the one drowning me.
oh me oh my Aug 2014
some girl muttered,
under her pretty breath,
through her bubblegum round lips-

that i was a train wreck-
a walking,

and i agreed.

because i'm not a beautiful suicide,
i didn't land on the top of a fancy limousine,
i didn't leap from the top of the empire state building,

i wreck full force and careless,
i wreck into others without braking,
i wreck in the middle of absolutely no where with no one to care
i wreck in small towns and i ruin lives.

i ruptured their organs
and i ripped their flesh-
i ruined their bones
and i ripped their ligaments-
i readjusted their joints
and i ravished their brains.

i slit their throats and
just so i wouldn't feel alone
they were the same as me.
Sometimes I get really upset during showers and remember I'm not a very nice person. I haven't cut in almost a year- 10/22/13.
oh me oh my Jul 2012
Her cigarette laced breath,

her promises that she'd quit,


I remember it clearly.

Hair bleached with the roots brown,


I remember it clearly.

Green of her eyes murked with swampy brown,

Surrounded by eyeshadow and poorly drawn eyeliner,

Surrounded by crows feet and clogged pores,

I remember them clearly.

Barbie nose,

Bridge lithe,


I remember it clearly.

Everything about her was frail.

Wrists of a 9 year old,

bones of a 70 year old,

her body wasn't her age.

I remember.

I remember,

Her crooked back,

Stooped with age and baddened posture,

I remember it clearly.

Her rotten teeth,

Her eating disorder,

What did you eat today?

It was a habit to ask

She doesn't think I remember,


I remember.

I remember my mother.

You left me.

but I remember.
oh me oh my Oct 2014
i want to be pretty and i want to be vivacious and i want to wear ripped jeans and i want to have smooth skin and i want to be shorter and i want to have cheekbones so jutted i could slit throats and i want to dye my hair blue and i want to color my irises green and i want to stain walls with sadness and love and heartbreak and ruin them with holes and break my hands so i can feel my bones crack so i can feel something and be pushed up against them at 3 in the morning with a boy with his hands so tight around me and my legs so tight around him i feel ******* weightless and i want to watch the blood run from my wrists and thighs again and i want to say im sorry and i want to be confident and i want boys and even girls to love me and i want to stop hating myself and i want to stop ruining people's lives because i cant express myself and i want to write novels about strangers who wonder about the universe and why they matter in this insignificant world when nothing matters at all with coffee and paint stained canvases and i want to love someone and i want to grow up and i want to find myself and i want to know


*i want to live
i am so, so lost.
oh me oh my Feb 2015
i want:

sadness and heartbreak and fingertips so hot and rough they melt my skin,
i want my tears to burn my eyelashes and i want my knuckles to crack and rip open my thighs,
i want passion and rebellion and police sirens and whirlwinds and asphalt.

i need:

compassion and tenderness so thoughtful it makes my heart bleed,
i need slow and bandaids and paint and canvases and muse,
i need love and life and light.
oh me oh my Oct 2012
You picked me off of the damped earth,

dusted leaves and years of dust away,

sealed my cracks with kisses and tape of woven eyelashes.

I was afraid,

but I wanted to love you too.

So I said I would love you,

no, i promised.

That I would love you if you promised me this --

that you would never, ever leave.

your fingers were crossed.
oh me oh my Mar 2013
eyes so brown
she came to me
and the wind howled.

it chilled my bones,
tickled the marrow,
and salted my eyes.

i could understand her,
i did,
with her eyes so brown,
so pleading, so full
and round.

a syllable did not
slip through her lips,
though she spoke
through weak and wavering hips.

frantic, distraught,
and my heart pleaded,
though she knew naught.

i'm sorry,
i told her,
she hung her head low,
turned her back to me,
gave to the ground.

i'm sorry.
oh me oh my May 2014
she hates me.
she doesn't know me.
she took him away.

her eyes are brown but they're tinted green with the scales of the monster that lurks beneath.

her fingernails are short but they grow sharp into claws and take him away from me because of the green monster that lurks in her fingertips.

her words are sweet but they cut me with the teeth of the green scaled monster that inhabits her tongue.

and he lets her.
and he lets her.
and he lets her.
i can't stop running to him.
oh me oh my Dec 2012
You told me once,
that you were afraid
of not one,
but entirely too many things.

But you said to me,
something I could relate.

You were afraid of withering old,
growing bitter at such a young age.

I drew the tiniest of white lies,
slipped through the cracks of my two crooked front teeth,
and said I agreed.

But dear,
I've become bitter,
too long ago to remember.

In the future,
I'll let you know,
make you remember back to that moment.

You were the one that made me withered and bitter.
oh me oh my Dec 2012
Listen to me.

Don't fall for the boy with curly brown hair.

Don't fall for the boy who treats you with a blanket of clouds,

and when he sees you he floats into the open air.

Don't fall for the boy with utter oceans in his eyes,

Don't fall for him when he writes you songs.

Don't fall to fix him when you see the sad grey clouds in his ocean eyes,

Don't fall for him when he sings you his songs.

Listen to me,

take my advice.

Don't you dare fall for the curly headed boy with ocean blue eyes.
I can only wish someone had told me these words of advice.
oh me oh my Apr 2013
he tells me the
words she does
not care to read,
nor understand.

his words
are narcotics,
rolling thick
off the tongue,
fat and vain.

i tell him the
words she does
not care to read
nor understand.

my words
are flesh wounds,
festering and
to the stomach.

he's a medical
to numb the
brash and pain.

i'm an angry
hornet through
your heart
and your mind,
livid and

thick through
your veins,
eyes a blur
and head a fog,
he's a medical
with mind of
a syringe
and tongue
laced with
oh me oh my Sep 2015
when i arrived,
i rose as a sunrise.

as i grew,
i became his noon.

and i grew,
and i became dusk.

and now,
i am the night,
but he wanted day.

i hope he loves me anyway.
forever searching for my grandfather's approval
oh me oh my May 2014
i thought.

you tasted like lust and you smelt like wintergreen and your hands were feathers and tickled my skin.

i know.

you tasted like skoal.
you smelt like smoke.
your hands felt like regret.
that's all you left me with. regret.
oh me oh my Dec 2012
You made me promise not to leave you,

I did what you asked without a lingering thought,

on the condition that you never left,


You loved me and I promise, I swear,

I loved you too,

even if I never showed it to you.

But the thing I think is funny,

is also the thing I think is sad.

While I had promised to never leave you,

you had played a trick,

the one the ***** magicians play

in the back of the darkest alleyway.

It was a small gesture,

simple enough.

You had those fingers, behind your back,


I was the only one to keep their promise,

because you were the one that left.
oh me oh my Jan 2013
silence slipped fingers
against my lips

silence struck metal
against my hips

silence slipped the
grainy film from my eyes

silence broadened me
to how this world lies

silence had grabbed
me by the cheek

silence said that
to cry was weak

silence taught me
how to look you right in the eye

and lie.
oh me oh my Mar 2013
tongue forked with venom
gums intertwined with sorrow
throat of stomach acid
teeth clacked with drowned dreams
stomach empty with regret
eyelashes woven with disgust
blue eyes definition of dread
lips twitched with anxiety
cheekbones hidden beneath cobwebs
skin scarred with silence

brain gave up and gone to waste.
oh me oh my Dec 2012
We’re scattered.

In the beginning of December, it was 70 degrees and I thought of you.
Dear, I say, I hurt, I hurt. I hurt so much for you.
Dear, you say, you say, you hurt you hurt. You hurt so much for her.
You can’t have her, oh, you hurt. I can’t have you, oh, I hurt.
We’re scattered on this earth, pieces disheveled, sharpened and broken and scattered on this earth.
I tried to pick up the pieces dear, she did and I did. She tried, I tried.
We both gave up, but you stuck with her.

We’re scattered, babe, piece by piece on this earth,
she can’t fix me, what makes you think she would be able to fix you?
oh me oh my Dec 2012
When you get down to it,
when you dig the deepest,
into the pit of the actual abyss,
you’ll see.

You’ll see lies,
various pieces of hearts,
shreds of humanity clinging to the hollow branches of bare limbs.

You’ll see soulless bodies, eyes glassy and skin rotten
numb to this poison radioactive air.

You get down to the pit, the actual abyss,
you’ll see where you left me.

You’ll see the little white lies, stuck in my paper calloused skin like push pins.
You’ll see the plastic encasing of large lies stuck in the back of my rotten mouth,
expect a pain stricken, desperate face.
Find a solemn, content one, knowing I had died there
in this pit, the actual abyss,
rather than with you, clouded with lies, want and the need that I can’t fulfill for you.
oh me oh my Jan 2013
We were
bleach and
darkened clothes.

Wasted upon me,
you left me nothing but

stained and
utterly ruined.
oh me oh my May 2014
because i see in colors,
and you shut your eyes in grey.

because you said
you loved me,
but you loved her
and her
and her.

i did not fall for you,
but my tears
did not listen
and fell for you anyways.
you would have thought i would've learned after the first boy.
oh me oh my Sep 2015
one a morning,
one a night.

he said it would make my world bright.

one a morning,
one a night.

white porcelain has never looked so right.

one a morning,
one a night.

my skin has never appeared so blight.

one a morning,
one a night.

i tell myself i am alright.
oh me oh my Feb 2013
How lovely to have drowned
with people all around
and not a soul bear to see
what was it that became of me.
oh me oh my Mar 2014
he looks at me
with those slate grey eyes.
he mocks at me
with that snarl tooth lisped grin.

he looks at me and his lips dont move,
but his eyes speak with mountains.

they say she slipped through my fingers
like water through the rocks in the river.
they say the longer i ran to keep her,
the further she ran to me.
they say the more you tried to save her,
the tighter your fingers bruised her pale skin
and gripped her throat
until her lungs were almost dead.

they said she did it voluntarily.
i know better.

you did not release your grip even when i let go.
i know better.
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