It's moments like these

moments of exhaustion
moments of sullen solitude
moments of wondering what the point of moving forward is...

When I don't have the energy or motivation
Moments that I can't be strong

that I have you
I have this outlet

you be strong for me when I cannot
I will do the same for you one day

Namaste

Are we destined to commit, to bathe in same mistakes
over and over and over again?

yours truly...STILL
after years and years
still hasn't learned very much

it is my wish for you that
yoy achieve that satori moment
before its too late

Namaste

To live in this world
is to struggle

Against....
-the elements
-yourself, mainly your mind
-circumstances beyond your control
-old age
-enemies of all shapes and forms
-disease

we
will be
claimed by one or all
of the above

no one is exempt

so enjoy what time you have

see these struggles as an initiation

see you on the battlefield

My intention is not to sound morbid....

I hope my death is a quick and sudden one

I hope my parting inspires people to get together

I hope absence is felt...

because at this moment.....

I feel unimportant, meaningless,
and devoid of companionship

I am alone with my thoughts

they slither around me.....hissing and shooting me
menacing looks

my future gets darker by the minute

all I want Is what everyone else has in excess

love, companionship,  affection....a reason to continue fighting

The solitude will consume me
**** me out

my reward.....
death

what did the universe expect
after years of neglect?

I wonder how the world will end
I wonder if i will survive this winter
I wonder what its like to have a family
I wonder if i will ever find the stability and security that
I so desperately crave

I wonder what its like to die
I wonder who will be there to greet me on the other side
I wonder why my life has been such a roller coaster of *******
I wonder what its like to have something to keep fighting for

i went towards the light in search of meaning

And suddenly it became very apparent to him

Very, VERY APPARENT

He wasn't to make it here

Not if things continued the way they were going

Rather

The way they've always been...

One of these days, he was going to finally hurt himself

Mortally

The thing was he couldn't bring himself to do it
with some kind of self-inflicted wound

Too painful

so he would more than likely fill his pockets with
heavy rocks and jump into the ocean

He couldn't swim after all

All because his prayers for HELP
fell on deaf ears

The creator made him exactly the way he was
so be could ultimately take his own life

He sat by the edge of the water...
watching the seagulls

and just listened...

Don't you take
another step

leave your trivial problems at the door

(if only momentarily)

This world....when you really put all
mundane human quandaries aside

is a place of wonder, magnificence and
second to none

I love this place

She walked beside me
many, many centuries ago

our paths were one
I remember it distinctly

I could hold her and feel her life blood for hours at a time

Decades have passed since
and the sands of time have caused us to
grow apart....now I no longer recognize her

our paths no longer one
I now chase pavement

looking for someone whom I cannot recognize
and it hurts

And no amount of music or money or anything can change that

My beloved
awaits for my return
on
the other side of
this plane

I cannot return to her
Not yet

my mission here is not complete

And so...the road continues....

Endlessly.....

I hadn't planned on writing this
I also didn't plan on sitting here by my lonesome either
I would've much rather spent it in the arms of lover
curled up watching netflix
dreaming
laughing

But no
here I am instead

with you

STILL ENRAGED
Still single
Still feeling ripped off
Still waking up alone
Still at these ******* coffeeshops only to **** time
Still hopeless
Still feeling weakened by loneliness
Still wanting to slit wrists
Still wishing I was never born
Still wanting to throw myself into oncoming traffic
Still wanting to cry & bash my head into a wall
Still alone
Still alone
STILL ALONE

Still feeling like a ******* outsider in a room filled with people who are my "FRIENDS"
Still losing my faith in humanity
Still here
with you

I bet she's sitting down somewhere...eating.
Same as me!

He pondered

Paused

Then continued to...

Then stopped suddenly

He picked up the empty tray in front of him where his burrito just was and hurled it as hard as he could against the wall across from him

He watched it explode into small pieces
In slow motion

His lips began to tremble
he glanced over across the street

A young couple
Holding hands
Smiling

He lay in a pool of blood...

More and more people started to crowd around him...

He looked left
Then up

A single tear emerged
Then rolled down his cheek

Not enough time

He mumbled through his teeth as
he groaned from the pain

More light...

More light...

Then he stopped moving completely

His eyes remained fixated in something he had in his hand
as he lay lifeless on the floor

Every *** has its lid
Or at least that's what I've heard
like every car has it's driver
and every tree has it's bird

Oh how I've waited for mine
How I've pondered and schemed
While heart muscle beckons
and my patience grows lean

every year I get older
every year I grow sad
that my lid is still missing
or possibly dead

All my dreams are but windows
to things that aren't real
and yet I can't help but wonder
why I feel how I feel

Every *** has its lid
Like a drunk needs his ***
I hope it's tonight
when my lid finally comes

Green, green the flow goes quite deep
like water from mountains
that flow unto creeks

It surrounds and astounds
it scratches and claws
it burrows and burrows
inside narrow halls

The halls of my mind
are oozing and rich
with handsome amounts
of wisdom to teach

These copious words
that continually flow
shall continue to gush
until I am no more

Gush, my loves, gush
until I am no more

Reach high and above
I know that you can
Reach with all of your might

Reach far and beyond
These so called restrictions
That dampen and darken your light

Reach high and so mighty
That people will banter
And journey from miles around

To share in your laughter
To thrill in your vision
Of being the greatest human in town

Good day sir/madam...

We haven't been properly introduced

My name really isn't that important
What is important is my mission
My reason for being here
with you and everyone else on this beautifully blessed planet

That mission
is to be a ♩♪♫♬ world-class musician ♩♪♫♬

Nothing else matters
as far as I'm concerned

not money nor personal possessions...
not women
not meaningless accolades...
or very much else, for that matter

It's all I  think about
night & day
day & night

I'm not leaving here
until I become
that bona fide, certified, world-class musician that I am destined to be

It may take my entire ******* life
and to tell you the truth
there's no better way I'd rather spend my time here

It's been a pleasure making your acquaintance...

Last night  I arrived at the ghastly conclusion
that our species really might be quite doomed

We **** and we pillage for fun, yes we do
and we won't quit until our planet is ruined

I had wished and had hoped
that our kind might make haste
To make world hunger a thing of the past

But alas it won't happen
well just keep on consuming
until our beautiful home is turned to ash

This is an ode to my brothers & sisters
who valiantly tried to save us from ourselves
Although the efforts were noble,
we were doomed from the start,
so I guess we'll see you in hell

They never spoke

Both usually arrived at the coffee shop around the same time

Those hours right before the sun arose to share its brilliance with the world

For weeks they would always be the only two people in there that early

One brisk morning the old man glanced over his steaming cup
and spoke to the young man

He looked him dead in his eyes...

Always...
ALWAYS...
keep both eyes wide open
And never ignore what you see

The very next day the old man never arrived

He never saw him again...

The sound of the traffic at that hour was completely deafening

She tried to pick herself up
but couldn't

After a few minutes she finally managed to lift herself up
Bruised and bleeding, she limped over to the curb nearby

"Fractured arm, for sure" she thought as she looked around for her phone

She'd been using it only moments before the accident
She spotted it in the middle of the intersection

Crushed into oblivion
  
The car that hit her was long gone
She was lucky to be alive...

Always...
ALWAYS...
Keep both ears wide open...
*And never ignore what you hear...

There's a tree by the edge of a cliff
Where ol Donald sits and wonders what if
should he jump to his death
he's got nothing left
but to hope that his end come quite swift

Grinch grinch
You are my to command!
You're the foulest creature in all of the land

From far east to west
you scurry about
looking to quench
that insatiable drought

Yet this drought is not real
I'm afraid to report
this invisible scarcity
only serves to distort

Oh Grinch, fair Grinch
you are bound to your ends
I do hope that perhaps one day
you and me can be friends

Brief brief!
The clock is a thief
it takes and it takes
all your days, minutes, weeks!

Last I remember
I was still just a boy
playing on swings
and screaming for joy

Now work and bill paying
fills my day, noon & night
grey hairs and back aches
fill my mind up with fright

So....

PLEASE

don't be wasteful
heed this message, dear friends
enjoy life to the fullest
from beginning to end

Brief brief!
The clock is a thief
so don't live with regrets
....
let them go...
...
See?
...
Relief ;-)

ATTN: galactic/universal management team

I strongly fear
that I might not be able to continue
the remainder of this next chapter
of my journey on willpower alone

It not enough

I need a committed partner ship

You know I do*

Without it my value system,
code of ethics, morals
and overall sanity
flies out the window

I'm at my breaking point here

I know you could make it happen
if you really wanted to

Please

I urge you to consider my plea
and act accordingly

Thank you for your time

He couldn't read or write

but he was sharp
like a tack

This was quite common in his village

the lack of schools
the lack of running water

the absence of basic necessities here was appalling

one night he thought he heard something moving
over by the door where the shoes and sandals were kept

in the morning, he went over to area where he heard
the sound the night before

he scanned around for a few minutes
until he saw it

a black mamba coiled up
sleeping inside one of
his little sisters shoes

Always...
ALWAYS...
*Always make sure...

Breath = Heavy

Life = Uphill

Boulder = Atlas

Grunting = Gravity

Exhaustion = Surrender

*Freedom

He grins and bears it
I don't know the reason

Day in and day out
season after season

Will this winter approaching
be the last for you, friend?
I hope you find strength
to push through to the end

I've survived heartbreak
in all of its many, many forms

I've survived being stranded out in the middle of nowhere
with no way of getting back to civilization whilst visiting a distant country
I've survived seeing the true colors of my so called "close friends"
when I needed them the most
I've survived growing up in an alcoholic family
I've survived religion
I've survived low points in my life
where suicide looked to be the only answer
I've survived countless pregnancy scares,
venereal disease scares,
and psychotic girlfriends
of all shapes & sizes

AND HERE I AM
STILL STANDING
STILL SWINGING

My tombstone will read as follows...
CAME: SCARED SHITLESS
LEFT: GIGGLING UNCONTROLLABLY

"Absurd...this life makes no sense"

He sipped his cafe latte as he continued thinking

"I wish I could make sense of all this..."
"How I wish this all made sense..."

Suddenly he looked up and there she was....

They locked eyes...

Then she was gone...

*Again...

"Pesky Humans..."
She thought to herself

After a few minutes of wondering what to do
she leaned over and asked mars

He wasn't very helpful

She cried out to her neighbor Venus,

but she was much too far to be able to hear her

So she just sighed
took a deep breath
shrugged her shoulders
and kept on smiling and being beautiful

Let me sleep for a plethora of ages
if only you would be mine

Let me wander the deserts forsaken by the lack of your figure divine

Let me be buried beneath all the hills with their cavernous caves and high peaks

I pray you, fair goddess, come take my hand
So that both you and I can be complete

Wyatt Earp felt the cold sweat
As fear creeped and sneaked up his spine

His fate was sealed, for certain
The grim reaper knew
that he was next in line

As the minutes went on
And the scalpings continued
Oh lord....Earp cried out in concern

Just then a Sioux brave
chopped his head from his body
And threw his carcass in the flames
and watched it burn

The drum that exists within me
is ALIVE

Alive & well....be on the lookout

There's a dead bird that sits upon a bush

I wonder if he felt anything at the
time of his passing...

I wonder why he died...

I wonder if it had a chance
to produce offspring...

What if it had lived one more day?

I hope his passing was...necessary

Singing! Singing!

Without a care in the world....

All the leaves and turning
and ready for burning...

A fine balance that now comes into being

Being....is......beguiling

All at once.....the flow comes and goes
Going......going.....gone

Let leafy leafs lay
All on and under everything.....

Goes well with fall...
Falling, I mean

I don't mean to leannnnnnnnnn

No

No

No

Gnome...

Something quite magical is about to occur
I don't know many details,
but I'll tell you what I heard

Big mama is revolting!
She's had it up to here!
She's tired of humans and
their acting out of fear

Our end will be quick
So swift it will be
Will all humans gone
She'll fill up with glee

The tidal waves are coming...
I've been told to report
Accept your fate, fellow humans
Either you will or you won't

He left his apartment in the city

He found a beautiful oak tree
Deep in the forest
Miles from anything

Up on the very top
he build a treehouse

His friends & companion were all animals

And he lived happily ever after.....

Under a trance
He begins to shimmy

He leaves no move unmade
No bead of sweat would he ever trade

For this
His bliss

His lifeblood

His purpose

God help who doesn't feel it

What ever it is you want in life
Be clear about what it is, then go get it

Go

Go now

Everyday you wait, ponder, stall, postpone
Is a gargantuan insult to those who were not fortunate to receive
the gift of today, like you did

You still have time

Go

If you truly want it bad enough,

you will find a way

If you don't,

then you'll make an excuse

He cried out repeatedly

No one listened

He asked for help on numerous occasions

No one came

He leaped and fell

They mourned the "loss"

****

I forgot

What
I was
Going
To write

Five forlorn fugitives stood tall
tall as trees
a fierce firing squad waited..
Their intent?
cutcutcutcutcut

They shot....

all five fell

all except one

he stood alone

eons passed, stars went supernova and yet

there he stood

wondering....

Sit still

Listen

Carefully

to that voice that speaks

without words

Today is leaving promptly
meanwhile
another tomorrow arrives
as
I
write
this

RIGHT NOW
is all you have

Jetting out
The pores on his skin

RELEASE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH­HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH­HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......................................

That's better.....

Yea....much better

Hideous...
Ugly...
Aberrant...
Unsightly...
Distant...
Cretinous.­..
Unworthy...

My god...he whispers to himself as
He shuts his eyes in disbelief

The Owl listens closely
while that distinct howl
echoes through valleys that have no name
Nameless....
Same as the rest of mankind
"deny them love" posted on billboards
screamed out so that the whole galaxy can hear

All the while, he sits and he smiles

The Owl watches....patiently...