Lonely water, won't you let us wander

​
we all go a little mad sometimes

in my head,
it's all you

in my head,
it's all you

in my head,
it's all you

nothing comes even close
to half of you,

it can't fill me
it doesn't fill me up

pick a part the pieces that you left


but don't you worry about it

under a blue sky
a boy lays on the
green grass, still
wet from the rain
from the day before.

with closed eyes,
he imagines a world
with peace and love

with happiness and not
anger.

with his mother and not
his father.

some days are just sad
if the present is a gift
please just send it back

she is never there
ghost lover extraordinaire
kiss nothing but air

the night is young

the moon hovers
above everyone
and gleams softly
as monsters come
quietly.

quietly into people's
homes and enter their
minds and haunt them
                    haunt them.

the monsters haunt them
and they will never leave.

       they will never leave till their job is done.

​
are you insane like me?
been in pain like me?

baby be with me so happily

you grasp with your own hands.

once you have it, you must
never ever let it go.

The worst part about anything that's self destructive is that it's so intimate. You become so close with your addictions and illnesses that leaving them behind is like killing the part of yourself that taught you how to survive."

i always thought
i loved you so much
i just wanted to see you happy

but when i saw you
together with your new girlfriend
i wished i could have made
your eyes twinkle,
as if the moon saw the sun
for the first time

i walked in
to find you
with a cup
of alcohol

and a girl
talking to
you.

i step back
into the
shadows,

watching
you in the
distance.

you guys
look happy.

you look
happy.

you look
like you're
having a
nice time.

im happy
for you,

even though
im breaking
inside.

i hardly talk to anyone these days

trust me;
           i am having a hard time,
                              too.

having a heart and soul

was my only weakness

loving you is like picking
the petals from a flower
i hate you, i miss you, i
hate you, i miss you
but whichever petal i end
up with, will you please
come back?

everytime i close my eyes
i see you.

everywhere i go,
i see you.

i can't stop holding on
to you.  

why did you have to leave me?
what did i do wrong?
why wasn't i good enough?

i dream in the colors of your eyes

i see beautiful things around you

is it too much to ask for a happy ending?

happy ending?

I'm keeping my head in
       the clouds
and its not so tragic
       if i don't look down

The treacherous hearts of our kind, desperate to seek for a familiar sense of companionship.
The world is painful, it’s sad and overpowering.
“A voice to voice one’s voice is a voice in its self.”

I've heard it said before today
That hearts of stone are cold
But having known them both I say,
That metal bites the coldest

he wants to say i love you
but keeps it to goodnight

because love will mean falling
and she's afraid of heights.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us

さよなら

not good enough
freak
awkward
worthless
not worth knowing
ugly
"attention *****"
nameless
nothing special
forgotten
fat
mistake
alone
unknown
waste of time

useless

i lie on the wet grass as i pick at the flower petals
he loves me
your loving eyes stare back at me as i gaze back into your eyes
he loves me not
you yelled at me saying that i wasn't perfect
he loves me
your sweet words always cheered me up
he loves me not
you told me to stop seeing you
he loves me
you told me you loved me
he loves me not
you said it was all a game
he loves me
you promised me you would never leave

he loves me not
*you left saying you would be back

position is painful

love
is for her a matter of
life or
                                          death.

her eyes had shined brighter than the stars

her smile had lightened up the dark night

her laugh had filled me with happiness

her hands had always fit in mine like it was made just for me


she was all i need
                             ed


but i lost her

and now i

lost

me

comes the feeling you thought you'd forgotten

but since my friends are here, i just came here to kick it

i ask myself
*what am i doing here?

I don’t want to be here anymore,
but I’m too afraid to die.

I don’t want to exist,
but I don’t want to die.

I want to disappear,
but I don’t want to leave.

I want to go.
                 Go away from here.

I don’t want to be here or there.
I don’t want to be anywhere.

this feeling will persist,
         this feeling to not exist.

there is no fixing me,

                                              I wish to be free,

please.
please.
hear my plea.

i hear laughter from the other side of the room.  i look up to see him laughing with his friends.  
i smile slightly and then stop.  
i look down and scold myself,
*'he'll never like a girl like me...unpopular, ugly, stupid, and awkward.  why would he like me when he could have someone better?'

morning sun
empty bed
cold sheets
open door
folded note
cool breeze
scattered mind
he's gone

i think might move on to something new

its okay to say you’re not okay