nothing beautiful asks for attention

I remember that day,
when you cracked.

something that had happened,
the day before, had caused you
to break, to crack,
             to explode

when you got home,
you slammed the door shut,
and locked it behind you.

you had a dark glint in your eyes,
with a scary smile on your face.

i asked you if you were okay,
and you told me you were just fine
                                      but you weren't, were you?

you walked up to me and
told me not to be afraid but
                                       how could i not be afraid?

you were breathing heavily,
you were looking at me with
a dark glint in your eyes, but
your eyes had a longing look.

i reached out to help you,
but it was too late, too late,                             too late
to help you in your demise.

it ***** you know.
when everything is doing fine then,
it all crashes again?

and the worst part is,
i really dont want to try and put
it all back together again,
but i have to.

I'm just another face

in the crowd

you feel so lonely and you stat to cry but nobody understands… nobody sees just how broken you really are.

she always wondered why
he always had a cigarette
pack in his pocket, wore a
black leather jacket while
leaning on his dark bike.  

she always wondered why
he kept himself hidden
behind the cloud of smoke
and never let anyone in.  

she always wondered why
he had to carry on such a
bad reputation to cover up
his mistakes and flaws.

one day, her curiosity got the best of her,
and she got caught in his flames,
she fell into the chasm of love

she was always too curious
for her own good.

i want a relationship where people know of us but nothing about us

​
baby be with me so happily.

"what are you doing?"

"salting my wounds."

"so they hurt more?"

"so they last longer"

​
i care about your feelings more than mine

​
i just didn’t want to get better

show it to me, baby

she locked all the doors
       closed the curtains
and clutched her knees close
       she rocked herself
back and forth
          crying to herself
    and scolding herself

why wasn't she what he wanted?
why wasn't she perfect?
why was she stupid enough to ever think that it was

                          love?

she locks herself in her room,
closing all the curtains and
whispering to herself,

"why did you have to leave?"

she walks toward her desk
and opens the bottom drawer
and it reveals a
                           razor

she carefully lifts it
and whispers into
darkness


                       *"only for you, my love"

you gave me chances



                                                                                    and i let you down

its been around four weeks since school started.  
i saw you talking to some of your friends.
i wanted to talk to you, i had so many things to say,

but i couldn't.

i just don't know how to tell you.
*i don't know

i was having a horrible day and you said hi to me.
that made me happy, thank you.
i said hi back and
then i asked you how your day was going.
you smiled and said it was fine.  
you asked me about how my classes are.
i tried not to laugh at the awkward conversation
we were having, and told you that it was going
pretty nicely.  

i smile as i remember the chat we had,

i wish i could talk to you more.
i wish i had the courage to.

i was going to say hi to you today.  
but i saw you with a prettier girl.

i decided to look down at my phone,
pretending that i didn't see you there.

at lunch, i saw you sitting with her,
laughing and teasing her, as she laughed
along to your jokes.

i sat down at the other end of the table,
acting as if i didn't see anything and
asked my other friends how their day
was going, they smiled and told me it
was going pretty nicely.  

they asked me how my was going.  
i smiled sadly and told them it was
going great.  
           great.

i saw you talking to her at the end
of school.  i heard from one of my
friends that she sits next to you on
the bus.  

i ignore you and your friend and
make my way out of school and
plug my earphones in, turning up
the music to full volume.  

can you fix the broken?
*can you feel my heart?

i saw you today
with that girl.

you guys were
sitting in front
of each other,
laughing and
talking like no
one else was
around you.

like you guys
were in another
world.  

in your own world.


i was in my own world of tears and fears.


fear that I'm going to be alone forever.
tears that you're never going to look at me
       the same that i look to you

i understand
why you chose
her and not me.

why would you
choose me if you
could have a
prettier,
smarter,
outgoing
girl like her?

why would you
choose me?
stupid,
ugly,
shy
girl like me?

smeared lipstick
frozen time
broken glass
dry tears

lost chance
wandering eyes
scattered mind
empty bottle

pain unfolds
flailing arms
hungry heart

no tomorrow
hopeless hoping
come back
to me

i won’t wait waste my day
unless i’m wasting my days with you

Nothing lives long
Only the earth and mountains

i guess i'm just somebody that you used to know

you said you loved me,
i said i loved you back.
what happened to that?
what happened to that?

put on you dress
put on your doll faces

you’re too much but I like it

what is more deadly
a gun or a thought?

a gun gives you the opportunity
but a thought pulls the trigger.

dear you,

I'm sorry that I'm such a disappointment
I'm sorry that I couldn't live up to your expectations
I'm sorry that I'm not pretty
I'm sorry that I put you down
I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough

I'm sorry that
this is goodbye.

“the bird fights his way out of the egg.
  the egg is the world, who would be born
  must first destroy a world.  the bird flies to God
  The God’s name is Abraxas.”

i listen to the screams
of agony and pain as
my demons take away
the last breath of life
from him.

the last beat of his heart
sends her over the edge.

because it was too much,
too much for her to handle.

she reached toward him,
but her fingers slipped
through him because it
was too late to save him.

i took his last breath of life
into my palms and looked
at it. it was full of love and
affection. for her.

i closed my hand around the
ball of life and crush it in my
palm.

she starts to kneel to the ground
while holding his hand to her face.

desperate for him

i looked down at her with disgust

she looked so pathetic there
kneeling beside a dead boy.

there's no such thing called 'love'.
there never was.
                               *it's all just an illusion.

tonight i realised that
you weren't the one who
wrecked me,
ruined me,
or destroyed me,
it was me.
because only i
have the power to do that
to myself
                                                                                                  i destroyed myself
                                                                                                  by loving you

innocent girl
saw an angel

he was beautiful
she had never
seen anything so
wonderful.

~

there came a time
where she left him
for another boy

he became lonely
rejected, abandoned

he felt like he didn’t
belong in this world
that was once colourful

his soul had been
torn apart by the
girl that he once
knew and had
come to love.

but no more.

       nothing could save him,

as the darkness ripped him
apart; to pieces.

the shadows had swallowed him whole.

​
the way that you left me is alright

they punish you for dreaming?

love dies out

"we all die in the end"

she's wearing someone's skin
and you fell for it again
but love is just pretend