My dad tells me
That you aren't "the one"
And that somewhere deep down
I know that's true
But he's got it backwards
Because its somewhere deep down
That I wish it weren't true for me

When something about you
Regarding me, and us
Is supposed like that,
I am intrigued
Like a shadow, in my peripheral
I do a double-take
And swing back around to it

If anyone else can believe
That you aren't the one for me
Why can't I do so?
I want to know how
To come to that conclusion
I want to rewrite my beliefs
I want to write you out of them

You had never done much wrong
You never gave me less than love
But we still ended up apart
And it doesn't sit right with my heart
To wonder if that girl you work with
Is your "the one" instead of me
Or any girl for that matter

I don't know how to move on
When deep down somewhere
I believe we are each other's fates
I don't want to move on
Just as much as I do
It begs the question,
"Is this how I know our love is true?"

But that doesn't make sense
I think love might be felt in bones
I think it might be safe and secure
I think it might be obvious
So, is that my answer?
The fact I don't know how to feel
Is how I know?

I'm so wishy-washy
I'm so back and forth...
Is this how you felt
When our love had run its course?
I wish you'd come home
I wish I could go home
But I wish to forget home too

Her bad mood
Tries to intrude
On conversation,
On laughter

Her lack of power
Compels her to cower
Behind a false sense
Of tyrannical control

Her own home and head
Never gave sanctuary; instead
They fostered hostility
And made her feel blind

Blind when searching for
Places with an open door
With a place to lie down
And to quiet all sound

She’s fighting herself inside
Can’t say she never tried
When the battle leaves her mind
And infects the entire family line

My bad mood
Tends to intrude
On conversation,
On laughter

And I’m sorry
But I learned it from you

In 6 years time
I’ll be out of my mind
Not crazy, just free
That’s who I thought I’d be

But it’s 6 years now
And I’m stepping out
My peace was put on hold
To destroy the lives I loved

It was like a nightmare wrapped in a dream
It was like a coma where I acted out things
Took a hit into a reality
That no one else was living

And now I’ve come out
I don’t want to go back in
But I’m sure the pain I felt then
Is nothing like it is

Take a break, run the shower
Dunk my head and close my ears
Hear the rumble of water dropping
Around me and on my skin

I don’t care it’s a weird place to go
But I let myself be simple
A koi fish in a pond
While the rain pours on

I can’t ask the question
Why’d this happen to me
Because why not, I guess
But it still feels like a cheat

It was like a jump from a skyscraper
That building is so tall
I didn’t know the long fall
I didn’t know the long fall

It felt like control
From someone that’s not my own
But the mess that was made
Is mine and mine alone

Mine and mine alone