The fight in me
Designed so intricately
Lays there peacefully
Hoping so patiently
To be displayed gracefully
As I nurture it insatiably
I feel it growing vigorously
A lot more playfully
A lot less viciously
I'll admit I embrace it openly
How it can consume me entirely
It has helped me defensively
While helping others protectively
It caused me to hurt my family
Due to the decisions I made poorly
It's burned bridges occasionally
As my rage would leap wildly
Left me broken painfully
Alone cold feeling empty
Although it serves me faithfully
Giving strength to handle adversity
Allowing me to love unconditionally
Fighting is what saved me honestly
It's not always so bad truthfully
Im a fighter living passionately

Writing this on lunch
There is this time crunch
Nothing going right
7 o'clock so far out of sight
The crew getting crazy
Same old fools still lazy
Work orders stacking
Im overwhelmed it's distracting
Have to fix the situation
Always some complication
4 more hours to go
It will be fun I know
Have to get my *** in gear
So I can get the hell out of here

Would my eyes
Tell you lies
Should you care
If I share
A little kindness
Excuse my blindness
I couldn't see
Inside of me
Through layered fears
All those years
I was weak
I couldn't seek
A positive solution
To my confusion
You might say
What I display
Is long overdue
It is true
This new intent
May prove evident
Although quite strange
I can change
I had enough
Being so tough
Feeling so asphyxiated
As pain accumulated
I'm just sharing
No need caring
I'm just writing
Instead of fighting
If you find
Me being kind
I needed to
Because of you

I have this pistol
Delivers a message
Clear as crystal
Come what may
It's intentions on display
I'm as humble as can be
Don't mess with me
I'm not looking to fight
Try as I might
To keep my head
As each round is fed
Given my troubled past
The conversation won't last
You want to have this discussion
You'll be subject to a repercussion
I don't have time to play
Heres what i will say
Try to hurt the ones I love
Only one who can save you is the one above

I was told I ask stupid things
Funny it kind of stings
Are you so smart
You can tear someone apart
With your infinite knowledge
Because you went to college
Or because of your job title
That leaves you so entitled
To treat people so unkind
You must posess a superior mind
The pinnacle of success
How you must easily impress
Everyone with your intellect
As your indifference you perfect
Standing there like a mental giant
How others must be compliant
I may respect your tenacious drive
To be the best how you thrive
At what you are tasked to do
But let's speak true
You aren't curing cancer
Since I won't get a straight answer
You will undermine my intelligence
Acting if I hold no relevance
You must be on a higher plateau
One I guess I'll never know
You'll mock my deference
With your well educated arrogance
I'll still show kindness in the end
I'm smart and wise enough my friend

The beer isn't working
Those thoughts lurking
I'm so depressed it's true
But what can I do
If I don't know the problem
How will I be able to solve them
It's like this every now and then
Never knowing how it will begin
What causes my depression
How it leaves such an impression
Should I be concerned
What haven't I learned
Throughout my troubled past
Being told I would never last
Here I am asking what to do
Head down heart torn no clue
As intelligent as I can be
The answers still elude me
I can't fight what I can't see
Still it's prisoner thought I was free
I struggle to maintain composure
How can I gain closure
If I'm still wandering around blind
Will there ever be answers to find

It brings no delight
When I write
About your stress
To confess
Just to keep it real
I don't know how you feel
I know you are strong
So if I'm wrong
I meant no offense
Should I use more common sense
Just trying to be a friend
With the lame poems I send
No matter how much we fight
I want to know you're alright