I know you've been hurting, trying to close that curtain,

Shut out the world, put down what's been lurking

inside you, it's ripping at your insides,

You try to run, but you can't hide,

You tried to fly, but you only glide

And it's unlikely that you'll land lightly,

I'd try to catch you, but you'd try to miss, to spite me,

I know sometimes I might seem mad,

But I can't let go of what I once had,

I'm not trying to make you feel bad,

I just wish you'd take the time to listen

to the words I'm trying to say and

that I'm cut dry, I'm dying, you know I can't lie,

I wish you'd see why I'm holding you so closely,

You're the glue, binding by broken heart,

Like a missing part, without you I start to fall apart,

I'm trying to stand tall, but my knees are shaking,

My mind is caving, every step I'm taking

is breaking my legs, my blood pools like a lake in

my chest because my heart's been torn open,

my happiness has been stolen, and I'm having trouble

coping with all this emotion, my thoughts are forming

so quickly, they're smoking, I can't tell if I'm joking,

or if I'm screaming out, hoping that someone will

notice that I'm broken, but I guess I'm too outspoken

to be considered anything but happy, actually,

I'm pretty sappy, and I'd gladly rejoice if, for once, someone would hear my real voice,

Until then, my tears will fall silently, like the rain drops on my window

that I just won't hear, I've lost myself within the confines of my own mind,

I can't help but express these feelings line after line,

It's like all these rhymes help this time fly by,

And I can finally feel alive, then I try to walk away, and my heart just writhes

in pain when the memory of you brushes past my head, or when sometimes

I swear that I can smell your perfume, it's like I'm playing

a game of "guess who" with myself, and I don't think it's

healthy to be this caught up in something like this,

but I can't help but miss the feeling of your kiss on my lips,

I miss it so much I swear it's making me sick,

I don't think I can handle this, I swear it's madness,

I just need to talk, that's all I can ask for,

So, please, won't you open that door,

Let me, it'a what I'm on my knees begging for.

There was a boy who loved a girl
And that girl adored that boy
The boy was happy and loved himself
The girl was full of self hatred and couldn't feel any joy

He didn't understand why she hated herself, couldn't she see he loved her even if she was depressed?
She couldn't understand why he liked her, couldn't he see she was a mess?

"You're such a narcissist." She'd laugh but she was secretly jealous
And she wondered how it felt to like yourself

She was amazed at how he always seemed to overestimate her abilities
He was stunned at how she always seemed to underestimate herself

She knew he deserved better though and tried to retract
But they were too in love and this is proof that
Opposites really do attract

this is a series of brief letters to the pieces of my body

dear body,
we don't always work together very well,
but i swear i am trying.

dear hands,
the callouses and crescent moons in your palms
will not be for nothing.

dear knuckles,
aren't you tired of painting yourselves black & blue
every time words fall short of the fire burning behind my sternum?

dear feet,
you know better than to follow roads that lead to dead ends.
there are better places for us to go.

dear eyes,
you have sunken so far into my skull
it shocks me you see anything at all anymore.
you're fixated on shades of gray
but i promise the world will regain its color soon.

dear knees,
stop crawling.
this broken glass is from his bottles.
get up. no more blood.

dear shoulders,
it was never your burden to carry. let it fall,
and try your hardest not to feel guilty.

dear neck,
his hands will never make a home here,
and you are worth more than one night of empty bruises.

dear spine,
stop waiting to be warmed by fingers
that would reach for another body if they could.

dear tears,
do not waste yourselves.

dear ears,
you have been filled with ghost songs for too long.
stop listening for things no one is saying -
it will make life much simpler.

dear mouth,
i know these secrets have been threatening to break my teeth
but please do not open your gates. i am not ready.

dear skin,
we have never been close friends.
i am sorry for the scars.
i am trying to learn how to be comfortable in you.

dear mind,
if i could wish you into an etch-a-sketch
and shake you clean of these bad memories i would.

dear heart,
i hope you can forgive me for being so careless.
i feel how tired you are. rest is on its way.  

dear body,
you will one day see a grave,
but it must not be by your own hands.

- m.f.

You waved the tool in my face
Causing a switch to go off in my brain
My thoughts distorted
My body springing to action
Trying to make you stop
What you had already done

The new raised lines on your upper arm
Caused by simple office supplies
Wouldn't have happened
If I hadn't left you for just a second
For the moment my back was turned
You were half past gone and a mile away from better

Both of are breathless
The shiny twisted piece of metal
Somewhere on the floor

Sitting across from each other
Your shoulders shook against mine
My tears burned into your shirt
And were mopped up with your brown hair

I spoke through choked sobs
As hurt memories flashed through my brain
Like the trailers of movies
Showing only a quick remembrance
Of my past
That leaked into your present

But you feel as though your present is not a gift
For you're falling down the rabbit hole
Not to Wonderland
But to the land of pills and hospital beds
Where it is not wonderful in any shape or form

Your scars can still heal
If you stopped retracing the red lines you've made
And realized
You are something
I care about you
And so do others
So if you won't try for yourself
Try for them
Try for *me

Lips gently brush
against each other.
Their fresh moist
softness hot, yielding.
Tongues touch, executing
deft tantalising flicks.
A sensuous tease
before delving deeper.
Searching, probing, lips
pressing, passion flaring.
Hearts melting, spirits
soaring, rushing away.
Then suddenly, it's over
More than physical contact.
A more subtle, mental kiss.
Our fingers connect
briefly on parting.
Lingering slightly, and
I speculatively wonder.
Were our minds
in perfect synchronicity?
Or is there truly,
only one mind?
Such uncertainies arise,
with mental kissing.

© Paul Chafer 2014