I'm a ******' joke to you, aren't I?

"Or am I just sick in the head?"

Who the hell let Olivia take over

Hi! I'm Olivia!

Oh, I see.

He never mentioned me.

Well, I'm Olivia, the... awkward? part of "Leanne"

I'm normally out when we're in an awkward situation or when someone reminds us of a triggering part of our past.

I'm normally never out but hey, sometimes I am.

I miss you.
                                                                                          I miss you too.

                           "Loser. She's ******* lying to you!"
                                   "No one would want to date you. Pathetic"
                  
                      Alex, leave me alone.

                           "Pffft- you'd really think I'd do that?"
    "I'm surprised she hasn't left you yet. It's almost been 3 months"
                           "She has a bad taste in 'women' "
                        "******!"
                                  "I bet she wouldn't like you- hell. I bet no one would like you if they knew that you're actually a trans male!"
                      "Genderfluid? What a joke."

Sometimes I don't have control.

                                        And then he comes out.

                                    I know what he's doing.

                                I can see it.

                             Hear his thoughts.

                       Hear the clicking on the keyboard.

                  I know he shouldn't be doing that.

"Hey, that's mean."
                                                                               Pfft. So what?

                  And then I try.
                      To stop him
                            Before he hurts someone.
                                            
                                Sent.

                                      I'm too late.

"Hey! Why'd you send that.."
                                                                    Your friend, your problem.
"He's gonna hate me!"
                                                    Shut the **** up. You're so annoying.


                                          Blocked.

When will I be able to see you again?

                                                                                                      Soon.

Oh okay!





                                                  And then she left.
                                                                            Forever.

I love you too.

I deny your help because it doesn't help.

A support group,

one of accepting people.

Where those different,

can finally feel like they belong somewhere.

I wanna do that.

To accept people,

and have a support group.

Y'know?

To be honest,

I've had my eyes on you since school ended last year.

I just didn't know how to tell you.

Honestly,

I'm a horrible girlfriend.

I play the violin.

I am in the "advanced" orchestra.

Tomorrow,

I must audition for the regional orchestra.

This is hurting me.

The stress is hitting me in all directions.

I knew these girls and guys,

on an online platform for kids,

named Roblox.

My,

We were the best of friends.

-

A year later,

She tried killing herself.

Sending me messages on

How much she hated me,

How I'm a stupid brat,

and

How I "stole" her boyfriend.

We broke.

I cried.

I blamed myself for her.

And I tried suffocating myself.

Whilst no one stopped me.

13 and Suicidal.

13 and suffering from an undiagnosed tic disorder.

13 and suffering from eating disorders.

13 and suffering from PTSD

13 and suffering from many... many, disorders and illnesses.

Yet,

They don't believe me.

I love you,

but,

You're too good for me.

I love you.

What if I told you that almost everything that I have written on this website is fake?

I would be a faker.
Attention *****.

Eh?

I mean,

Thanks, I guess.

I may be young,
but
I've gone through things you avoid.

Yes,
I am 13.

What possibly have I gone through?

"What? Your parents yelled at you?"

Worse.

"Grounded?"

You really don't want to know.

I deleted all my poems. So if you're wondering where they went, you know now. I deleted them. Wanted a fresh start.