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1.1k · Mar 2020
#108 / 9
eli Mar 2020
stop texting me


stop acting like we’re friends
861 · Sep 2019
#4
eli Sep 2019
#4
I love you,

but,

You're too good for me.

I love you.
722 · Sep 2019
#1
eli Sep 2019
#1
I deleted all my poems. So if you're wondering where they went, you know now. I deleted them. Wanted a fresh start.
638 · Mar 2020
#77
eli Mar 2020
#77
i don’t think this will work out
637 · Nov 2019
#28
eli Nov 2019
#28
I miss you.

I want to hug you.

Cuddle with you.

Kiss you.

I want you.

You might not be perfect in your eyes,

But you're perfect to me.

I love you.

Every "imperfection' you complain about.

Beautiful.

Perfect to me.

I love you.

So much.

But hey, you probably don't want me anymore.

I'm annoying, stubborn, refusing to do things.

Sorry.
628 · Jan 2020
#47
eli Jan 2020
#47
ticcing in bed with a sore body is painful.

every position hurts

it’s nothing comfortable


good night
a thought
545 · Jul 2021
#159
eli Jul 2021
love me

love me


love me ?


please.
before
i
give
up.
498 · Feb 2020
#57
eli Feb 2020
#57
i’m fine.
eli Feb 2020
we are crackheads
we are not cis
we are not straight

we like messing around
and going on mall dates.

we ate,
we ran,

but i really dont want this fun to end.

she laughs,

she cries.


he laughs,

he cries.


we're having fun

on this small mall date.
jay - casper/bethany
446 · Mar 2020
#98 / 4
eli Mar 2020
let’s move in together


let’s move into a cottage,


i’ll wake up early and make you heart shaped waffles and we can have goats and chickens.


i’ll plant you strawberries and make jams for you


i’ll have a cupboard of tea in case you don’t feel well


i’ll plant flowers so i can give them to you every morning when you wake up
422 · Sep 2019
Violin.
eli Sep 2019
I play the violin.

I am in the "advanced" orchestra.

Tomorrow,

I must audition for the regional orchestra.

This is hurting me.
409 · Apr 2020
#145
eli Apr 2020
she found out about my suicidal tendencies, do i lie to her?
392 · Feb 2020
#55
eli Feb 2020
#55
i want to stab myself'
but i wont because you need someone right now and i'll be that someone if you need me to.
380 · Feb 2020
#53
eli Feb 2020
#53
stob eat my cereals in
361 · Apr 2020
#140
eli Apr 2020
tessa violet just followed me on twitter
361 · Jan 2020
#43
eli Jan 2020
#43
i’m just scared of falling for you again
sh
313 · Sep 2019
#2
eli Sep 2019
#2
I may be young,
but
I've gone through things you avoid.

Yes,
I am 13.

What possibly have I gone through?

"What? Your parents yelled at you?"

Worse.

"Grounded?"

You really don't want to know.
309 · Nov 2019
#27
eli Nov 2019
#27
I'm a ******' joke to you, aren't I?
295 · Feb 2020
#51
eli Feb 2020
#51
i wrote you a song.
280 · Feb 2020
#56
eli Feb 2020
#56
yikes i love you guys and-


i know i wasnt dating them first and that it was a mutual thing


but god.


im catching feelings
s/os
269 · Nov 2019
#34
eli Nov 2019
#34
Sick.

Is it fun to be sick?

Headache,

Cold,

Vomiting,

Crying,

Coughing,

Gagging.
­
Yes.

It is very fun.

I want to suffer.
264 · Jan 2020
#36
eli Jan 2020
#36
2020.


Hell, what do I do now?

Say that it's been a year since I started slitting my wrists?

Sure.


Hi, I'm Beau,

I'm 13, FTM transgender. And this month, last year, I started to slowly **** myself. The end. Happy new year.
248 · Oct 2020
#157
eli Oct 2020
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling themmaking plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling themmaking plans and then canceling themmaking plans and then canceling themmaking plans and then canceling themmaking plans and then canceling themmaking plans and then canceling them
making plans and then canceling themmaking plans and then canceling them
240 · Mar 2020
#81 / 1
eli Mar 2020
they have a purpose now,

the numbers are there for a reason,

i write nonsense everyday for a reason.
it’s an assignment i received from my therapist
199 · Nov 2019
Beau wears a Bow
185 · Nov 2019
#32
eli Nov 2019
#32
I changed the password to my account.
171 · Jan 2020
Lies you tell
eli Jan 2020
I believe the lies you tell

because I want to believe that you're okay.


I know you're not okay.


I know you're hurting.


Just- please tell me so I can help you.




You know I can't lose someone else.
157 · Feb 2020
#48
eli Feb 2020
#48
even the name of this place makes me sick to my stomach

maybe that’s why
im unreasonably sick in the morning. i don’t know if it’s just me being sick or not wanting to go to school
157 · Jul 2021
#162
eli Jul 2021
oh
how
i
wish

i
could
say
goodbye
one
last
time
this
is
the
end
155 · Feb 2020
#50
eli Feb 2020
#50
i wanna kiss someone but i dont have anyone to kiss
155 · Apr 2020
#134
eli Apr 2020
are you cheating on me?
147 · Sep 2019
#5
eli Sep 2019
#5
13 and Suicidal.

13 and suffering from an undiagnosed tic disorder.

13 and suffering from eating disorders.

13 and suffering from PTSD

13 and suffering from many... many, disorders and illnesses.

Yet,

They don't believe me.
146 · Nov 2019
#15
eli Nov 2019
#15
She kissed me.

So I kissed her back.

I wanna do it again.

Would she let me?

Would she like it?

Would she push me away?

I love you.

So.

Much.
145 · Nov 2019
#17
eli Nov 2019
#17
Moaning,

Screaming,

Yelping,

Nasty words,

Nasty comments,

Do people really get paid to do this?
145 · Oct 2019
#10
eli Oct 2019
#10
A support group,

one of accepting people.

Where those different,

can finally feel like they belong somewhere.

I wanna do that.

To accept people,

and have a support group.

Y'know?
142 · Nov 2019
#18
eli Nov 2019
#18
Aching,

Pain,

Why does this hurt so much?

Am I okay?

Am I dying?

Bleh.

It's the milk again.
142 · Dec 2019
`~`
eli Dec 2019
`~`
I've lost the sanity in me.,

I've fallen,

but no one has given me their hand.







I've chosen to suffer.
141 · Jan 2020
#45
eli Jan 2020
#45
i've done what im most scared of.
ive fallen for you again.

sh
133 · Jul 2021
#158
eli Jul 2021
eli
is
a
nice name.

perhaps
i
should
go
back
to
it
131 · Oct 2019
#12
eli Oct 2019
#12
I deny your help because it doesn't help.
128 · Sep 2019
Forced Relationships.
eli Sep 2019
Normally, they're in person,

Right?

No.

These-

These were online.

"Why didn't you block them?"

"There's a block button y'know?"

I know.

But once they consume you in their life,

Once they shut you down,

Once they make you believe that they're all you need in your life,

The block button doesn't exist.

I just wanted to force myself to think that someone actually loved me.

-

I am not your toy.
.
I will never be your toy.
.
I will not let you force me to date your fiance.
.
I will not let you force me to date you just so you could cheat on my best friend.

No.
.
No.
.
No.
.
I am not your toy.
.
I will never be your toy.
.
I am an independent person.
.

I

.

Will

.

Never

.

Be

.

Your

.

Toy

.
118 · Sep 2019
#6
eli Sep 2019
#6
I knew these girls and guys,

on an online platform for kids,

named Roblox.

My,

We were the best of friends.

-

A year later,

She tried killing herself.

Sending me messages on

How much she hated me,

How I'm a stupid brat,

and

How I "stole" her boyfriend.

We broke.

I cried.

I blamed myself for her.

And I tried suffocating myself.

Whilst no one stopped me.
110 · Nov 2019
#22
eli Nov 2019
#22
I miss you.
                                                                                          I miss you too.

                           "Loser. She's ******* lying to you!"
                                   "No one would want to date you. Pathetic"
                  
                      Alex, leave me alone.

                           "Pffft- you'd really think I'd do that?"
    "I'm surprised she hasn't left you yet. It's almost been 3 months"
                           "She has a bad taste in 'women' "
                        "******!"
                                  "I bet she wouldn't like you- hell. I bet no one would like you if they knew that you're actually a trans male!"
                      "Genderfluid? What a joke."
102 · Nov 2019
#31
eli Nov 2019
#31
toxic.
tired.
stress.

will someone save me from this mess?

the mess i created.
97 · Jan 2020
#41
eli Jan 2020
#41
jenny this jenny that


when will you love me as much as you love her?
leanne solaria wilds
96 · Jan 2020
#44
eli Jan 2020
#44
for my 6th-grade math teacher.
95 · Oct 2019
#9
eli Oct 2019
#9
To be honest,

I've had my eyes on you since school ended last year.

I just didn't know how to tell you.
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