some days

i can't even look at my body.

is it even my body?


once iwas violated
by you
and now
i feel *****
and disgusting
and i just think
there is no way this is my body

i need to get out

you make me sick to my stomach,
saying those things.

i have never done anything to you,
a few hurtful words,
maybe,

but god i never took
that
away from
you


like how you did to me.

i still feel your hands on my body,
i still hear your booming voice
telling me its all my fault,
i still hear you telling me
that you'd leave
if i didn't do something you wanted.
so sure,
i said a few mean things,
but you
ruined me
my life
everything.

so sure,
i said a few mean things,

but i had to get
OUT.

out of your home,
out of your arms,
out of your head,
out of your heart.

you make me sick to my stomach,
so sick
that i shake and i cry and i *****

over just the thought of you
and your ***** hands on my body.