but
the skies aren't always blue
there'll be days where the flowers don't bloom
and the grass isn't always greener on the other side
but
the milk spills
and you get blamed
and you'll run out of cereal
but
everybody dies
and nothing lasts forever
but
it's a secret
you should not know
but
you won't walk this pavement again
because everyday is a bad day

but
you know happiness is a choice
- and that you need no reason to be happy
for reasons may leave
or be taken away -
amidst the buts

i'm alone again
the darkness keeps *finding me
holding myself together at the seams
and asking the voices in my head
if i should die
would anybody want me after what i've done?
would somebody accept me for what i've not done?
i miss two people now
but the thing is
they do not miss me.
after they leave
i can't breathe
oh god i can't breath
you see i am
not dead yet
not everything is bright and good
they are all gone** though
so their lives must be getting better

sometimes I become so frustrated with the word love because it doesn't hold enough value to express how I feel about you. it is almost as if I have to repeat it several times, "I love you I love you I love you so much", before it even begins to hold such a meaning.
nothing makes me happier than when you refer to the future as ours. I can't wait for the day you wake me up with kisses and coffee instead of waking up clutching my phone.
I honestly believe the reason I have always felt so homesick and such an intense wanderlust is because I've always been so far from you. (and just to prove my point, I woke up homesick again.)
the day I met you I felt the dirt in my chest get heavier but little did I know, the flowers were finally being watered.
and the day I fell in love with you I felt an explosion in my chest and I thought it was my heart but it was really the flowers blooming. it is almost like you are creating a garden for my demons to play in.
you make me want to keep breathing and it's so relieving. there isn't a day that starts with my wishing I hadn't woken up because I am always awoken by you.
I may be an angel but I swear you are a piece of the sun, shining light in my darkness. every day makes me believe more and more that you are the pieces of myself that I was missing for so long.