I am going through these phases in my life at the moment,
Easing into them and learning not to stress, I am often reminded that life stops for no one, and it adds upon the feeling.
I am taking it day by day yet sometimes my mind takes control over my body, and I feel like I am stuck in this realm of disturbance and agony.
The concept of change is an alternative reality for me, and I feel like I am heavily lacking in the sense of understanding that this is the stage of adulthood.
Time is taking me over day by day and sometimes I can't even imagine myself growing older, and it is almost my time. I feel like I have cheated death for the past four years, and that I am an outsider on this land.
The disturbance and agony quickly grows into suicidal and depression with no way of escaping. Slowly, I feel like I am deteriorating in my own body, and at this point in time,
I am letting go of myself, and putting all things above me.

I just apologize if I have ever wronged you, pray for me and forgive me.

This Earth is a vacation.
Pack your bags, but only bring a few suitcases.
Travel lightly, because you are not staying long.
60, 70, 80 years max, with an eternal life in Heaven.
This Earth is temporary, yet we make it seem like
- Every obstacle in our path is the end of the world
- Flaunting what we have, even though it won't stay
- Not understanding the true meaning of relationships
Although every tangible thing is temporary,
So are people, any moment could be a person's last
Yet we hold these petty grudges and
Disrespect straight to the face..
Then mourn and regret as we're taking them to the grave.
This Earth is a vacation, so let's act like it.

My head has been spinning around for what it feels like ages.
Constant thoughts hiding behind one another
It feels as if I am running through these circles, rampaging through the events occurring within my life
I do not understand the meaning of fun, or enjoyment.
I live life on the daily to experience, not knowing what exactly I am searching for.
My life is full of purpose, but I have yet to find what I am on this earth for.
My mind tells me that I am finally enough, and my body is entering the door of self-love, I am fully content with my natural self.
I am in control of my mind, but of that I need reassurance.
Sometimes I feel like I am not doing enough.

Pain only develops if you let it. People only hurt you if you let them. Your mind is so powerful that you are capable of never being in pain again, think about it.

Everything is rooted from your mind.
Everything is rooted from your mind.
Everything is rooted from your mind.

Years ago, if you told me that I would still be alive here today in 2021, I would not believe you. The rough patches of my past had taken over me many times, but if you sat here with me today, and told me that I would be okay, I would not believe you. If you told me how confident, loving, and happy I am today, I would not believe you. I was so stuck in my mind that I never let myself feel properly. I ran away from my thoughts, so if you told me today that I have healthy coping mechanisms and if you told me that I would be thriving today, I would not believe you at all. But guess what?

It's true.

This year is full of constant changes. New feelings and experiences, I will get hurt and I will be happy, it is life and I realize that. I forgive myself for my mistakes of this past year, and I forgive those who have hurt me as well. This new year will be fresh, and without any grudges, I am releasing my past from my mind. I am proud of the person that I have become, and I am ready to move on without any mental damages, and any shackled conversations or uncomfortable feelings. I know what I deserve and I will get what I deserve. This year forward, everything is about me, and only me. My future, my joy. Affirmations.