I gave 9 months to you.
You led me on, told me you wanted to be with me, and all of that was a lie.
The worst part of it all was that I had to pull your true feelings out of you.
You were someone I really trusted, and really loved
It hurts to look back and relive our memories, and realize that half the times we were even together, you felt unsure about me.
It hurts to hear that you already moved on a couple of days after we were done.
It hurts to know that you are completely happy without me, and that I did not even leave any dent in your life.
It hurts to feel like I was so useless to you, and that you could not even reassure me otherwise.
It hurts, because I expected so much out of you.
You acted like you were such a grown man, who is a great communicator, but in reality..
You're one of the most childish mentality than I've ever met in a person.

Lots of time has passed..
My mind has become clear
I feel refreshed and energized
But one thing that stays in my mind daily
Is how untrustworthy everyone is
How others can love you to your face
But be plotting behind your back
The ones you are closest to,
Hurt you the deepest

I've come to the realization that I found myself, and I can only trust myself. Everyone is on their own journey, with every man to himself, so who am I to expect they'll treat me with same respect?

I want to be loved in the way my daddy loved my mom.
I want to be loved in a way where I won't ever have to question your feelings.
I want to be appreciated in a way where I truly feel appreciated.
I want to be appreciated in a way where it benefits the both of us, no matter our relationship.

Why do people feel like they have a right to control you?
I do not care who you are, but I am my own person.
I am not obligated to respond to calls, texts, and if I am not in the mood to hang out, then there's your answer.
In this generation, everyone is so backed up on the wrong things.
My mental health and my priorities come before anything else, and that doesn't matter whether you're a friend, family, or a significant other.
I live my life for me, and I will continue to please myself in the way that I want to.
So, again, forgive me if the shoe fits to you.. but I came into this world alone, and that is how I will leave.
The things happening in my life are a self-battle, so I have to make sure I do things for me.

Before I met you, I was completely fine.
I was learning to love myself, and I was on a good path.
You becoming an addition to my everyday future, was a blessing in the beginning.
Now I just look at you, and our relationship as a curse.
I had the signs placed right in front of my eyes, but I was too blinded by the way I had felt about you
All for what?
All for you to leave me in the end, to treat me as if you never cared
..To move on, like our relationship, our time spent together had meant nothing to you.
I had so much pain for the past month, that I did not even know how to handle it.
The one person I talked to every single day, who I confided in, trusted, turned back around and hurt me.
So I felt lonely, and you knew that, but yet you still went ahead and moved on with your life..
You were the person that I thought I was going to be with for a long time
You were the one that showed me many things and I don't regret our relationship, but I do regret it being with you.
Because before you even came into my life, I did not want a relationship.
But now I know how a woman should be treated, and I will never let anyone give me less than I deserve ever again.
I was head over heels over you, and none of that was reciprocated.
So now because of you, I have to deal with many other issues in my life, and the biggest one of all.. is that you broke my trust.

My past memories and experiences come to haunt me on the daily.
I am crept up at the most unusual times and placed with a wave of sadness over my head.
In these times where I am being tested and I am caught up in the pain of my past, I realize.
That it is called my past for a reason.
I am now in the present, in a much better, gifted state.
I am confident, loved, beautiful, and I will get everything that I desire in this life.
Ya Allah, I just pray that you help me through my journey.
Ya Allah, all I yearn for is constant positivity throughout any experience that I go through
Ya Allah, I pray that my father, my mother, and my brothers wake up everyday, being proud of their little princess.

I have searched for self-love for years, and now I can greatly say that I am in love with myself. I am confident in my own body, in my own mind.