I am in this room full of people, yet I feel so alone.
It seems like there are high expectations and judgments placed all around me
To be in a place meant to be overflowed with happiness, flipped upside down and viewed in a negative state.
To be among the crowds and be able to face the fear of their power
The ability to be able to weigh you down with just a single touch.
I am in this room full of people, who claim they care for me
Who constantly remind me that they're here for me,
Yet I feel so alone.
I feel like I am swarmed by this constant presence of hatred and disgust
I feel like a monster among my peers, destroying peace as it comes to my touch
I feel like I do not even know myself, so how am I supposed to sit here
And feel joyful in a room cramped with hundreds of strangers...
Including myself.

I am going to help you blossom into an even more beautiful and kindhearted man
I am here to support you no matter what adversities that you may face, no matter what obstacles stumble your path
I am the constant reminder in your life, that you will be not only just fine, but successful
I am going to be a positive light to your mental health, and provide you with joyous emotions
I am your lover, and will only treat you with the tender care you have been yearning for
I am someone who is never going to leave you when times get rough
And times will get rough..
Negative feelings may take over our hearts
But no matter what.. our love will never distance
We will not fall apart from each other
I am speaking this into existence
No matter who is around, you are the only one I want to be with
There will always be men that are fine, or smart
But none of them compare to you.. and our connection
You are the only man that I want.. forever
I am going to spoil you.

Mother -

Never did I know that today would be your last day to live.
Otherwise I would have put my pride aside and told you
Many things that I have never spoken of before
I wish I had one more day to spend with you -
I need you more than I need myself and now you're gone..
Well at least you're with dad now, where you always wanted to be
Rested in paradise with your lover.
I regret my past actions and hardened emotions towards you
I regret the tender care you provided me, that I always overlooked
I regret the pain that I have caused you, the heartache
But more importantly.. I regret not spending more time with you.
I hope to see you again one day, soon.
Please save a seat for me mom and dad, I love you both
I will make it up to you for the rest of my life
As well as the Hereafter.
You both are in my duas (prayers).

Thank you for being my candle through this tunnel of darkness
Things have been very depressing, I feel as if I have lost myself once again
You are the constant reminder that nobody can control me
You are the one who motivates me to accomplish more than I did the day before
You have helped me realize that I am not dependent on anyone, that I only owe myself growth
You have refreshed and reset my mind into this new mentality
Constructing my thoughts to understand
That I am fierce, and capable of all that I put my head into
Thank you for knowing how to help me in ways that not only attain to my growth
But without putting yourself into the situation
You don't even know how blessed I am to have you.

Dear Norah,

I mark this paper with words of remorse towards my former self
I write this with pain in my heart, and regret for my past actions
I apologize for the discomfort in my own body
But more importantly.. I apologize for the aching of my soul
I'm sorry for still not becoming the person you had thought I would become by this age
I'm sorry for still suffering mentally..while trying to search for my identity
I'm sorry for not understanding myself to the full extent yet.
There are a lot of things that I'm disheartened about..
But at the same time..
I'm a better person today than I was a few years ago
I'm a more reliant and independent individual
I'm myself, and I am proud of me.
So past Norah, I'm sorry for not being mentally stable enough to handle myself
But I have grown.
And as my parents always told me..
With patience comes progress
With time, I'll thrive.

The day you told me that I will be safe with you
That you will make me blossom into a beautiful woman
An artist with support for his lover
I had this feeling in the core of my heart
That has been pushing to be released
Yet I keep these emotions hidden deep inside of me
Because what if I'm mistaking myself.. and I don't feel that way?
Or even worse.. what if you don't?
I am stuck in this reality trying to figure out how this relationship will begin.. and continue
Right person, wrong time
But we're still going to make it work.. time doesn't control us
And I promise you..
The day that I say those three words to you
Is going to be a special moment between us
Because the amount of times I've been aching to tell you
Yet I force myself not to..
You'll know I mean it.

The first time I felt my heart break.. I had disowned myself
Constantly facing towards the past to understand what I had done wrong
Was it me or something I did?
I felt so disappointed in my own self that I let her go
She didn't know her worth and relied on a man to show her
That was her first mistake
She gave him superiority to the point where
He was able to manipulate her emotions
Tossing her around, acting like she was a doll..
That was her second mistake
I could go on and on about how she threw herself into situations
That would only cause her more pain
But why should I do that, when I've let go?
I am not her anymore.. she is dead.
This new me.. will never rely on a man
Not just a man, she will never let another PERSON carry her upon this path of life
Because she is strong, she has been through too much
To look down at her own self and see failure.