Maybe you’re the reason why I’ve kept myself working
One day you were the best thing that came into my life
And the next you gave me the worst heartbreak
Taking me back to a state I swore I would never be at again
I can’t believe I let myself get hurt the way you did me
& it’s worse because you don’t even care.
You live your days with joy and laughter
While mine are constantly filled with thoughts and memories of you
You didn’t deserve me..
You never did.
But I gave you another chance because I had seen the potential
And look where that took me.

- nsw

I'm not a poet. I don't feel like one at all. I just like to twist my thoughts together to form sentences, but often times I get lost in my imagination of what could've been.
Though I provide beauty through my words, I lack in caring for my mental picture. These thoughts of mine are pushed to the back of my mind and because of this, terms do not flow so easily, delaying my poetry into bliss.
I believe that I just rearrange letters in a variety of ways to encompass the thoughts running through my mind, without providing the concept of vulnerability so I remain unknown.
I am terrified of letting an individual get to know me, especially when 2022 became the year of nonchalance and breaking hearts.
I'm not a poet. I don't feel like one at all. I simply just state what everyone else is thinking, onto a piece of paper for the public to read.

- nsw 08/18 12:14 am

Tell me the beauty of this life without pain. Explain to me how we are to be immensely grateful of things that are easily accessible when we see them, every single day. Talk with me about the wonders of how life would be if time was of our essence in the virtue of prosperity. Stimulate my mind by discussing the endless possibilities of what our true purpose is, and how we will reach our objective. When you sit back and realize that this dunya (world) & haya (life) is temporary, you will understand that the temptations deriving from our peers daily, are here to set us onto the wrong path. The road frequently traveled that we choose to follow is filled with mistakes and bad dealings, yet we allow this in hopes of gaining happiness, joy, excitement. When it is understood that the world's answers are right in front of our eyes, just needing to be recognized, we will be full of power. Let me be your light.

- nsw 08/17 11:57 pm

Sometimes I feel like my mind is corrupting
Constant thoughts being hidden
Behind the surface of my driven smile
Drained from the manipulation by my peers
The continual run-throughs over my beautiful heart
Maybe I just need to recognize the individuals I am in contact with
See through their half-assed efforts
Steer myself away from their egotistical thoughts
My mind is simply distorted
But not because of self-corruption, but more
Because of deception and persistent pain
Needing to be recognized for my efforts
My worth, my power
Soon my mind will be in its golden form
Healed from the core
& that is when I will become truly unstoppable.

- nsw 08/17 11:46 pm

Do you ever sit in the corner of your room, and wonder where you belong in this world?
In a way where you feel like your purpose has not been found and that time is escaping you quickly?
Where everyone around you is dropping like flies at such a young age and you feel as if it could be so easy for you to be next?
Do you ever sit in the corner of your room, and think to yourself how you have taken steps towards your goals, and sometimes doubt that it will even matter in the end?
If today was the day that you got put to rest, would there be waves of loved ones behind you in tears, or are they just acquaintances with a guilty heart?
Do you ever sit in the corner of your room, force yourself to get back up and continue to reach towards what you desire out of this world, even with the lack of motivation and laziness you have been drowning in?
I wish I could do the same.
Pain and fear has immobilized me from leaving the corner of my room.

- nsw 03/15/22

Sometimes I feel like I am at a lost of words, dwelling in this writers block. Other times, I think maybe it is because I do not want to truly face my emotions, because of the pain that life has caused me. I do not want to regress back into a negative state so I take life as it comes and continue to move forward, but sometimes I feel like I am disregarding how I truly feel. I am running away from my own self such as a coward simply because I do not want to be an adult and handle the thoughts that go through my mind, so I turn the other way and act like all is fine. How can I expect someone else to give my emotions and I acknowledgement and respect when I can't even do the same?

- nsw 03/15/22

Sometimes I feel like time is escaping me and the world is disabling me from my true self.
I am in immense pain all throughout my body and sometimes it feels as if it is a slow and painful death.
I have seen the angels and I have felt their presence grab me within my dreams.
I've seen my past memories flashing by, and at this moment in time I can say that I am prepared.
Sometimes I feel like time is escaping me, but I feel like I am the one disabling me from my true self.
Maybe this is just a sign to keep going, and this is not really the end.

- nsw 03/15/22