Intonations of
Enigmatic incantations
Gouged out our senses
The monomaniacal devotion
To your thirst for malevolence
Has betrayed us all.

In a sea of boiling blood
Skin peeling from bone
Sempiternal purgatory
In diablo's abode
The realm of darkness
And disgust

Gazing at the abyss
The bellowing of a thousand
Doomed souls
Trembles my very bone

Soul left stained
By pervasion of impurity
Expunge these earthly sins
From my consciousness
Rinse my veins
Beautiful lethe

Flickering halo

Comatose and forgotten

Abandoned

On the corner of despondency

......and shame

Mutilated with the scalpel of false hope

Exacerbated ruin

Razor thin backbone

Just another ill-fated cliché

A dweller of the peripheral

Entrapped by screaming silence.

Today must have been

a field day for the Gods

Up there in the heavens

Staring down at this walking travesty

I stretched out my hand

To get hold of a dream

Only for them to chop my hands off.

A certain iota of bliss in dark times because you choose to remain aloof.

30 July 2013

I am perplexed I haven't collapsed under the heavy weight of
irony.... yet

July 19 2013

Impaled on corrosed spikes

Eviscerated and immobile

The silent devouring

By countless debauched ghosts

With different agendas

And insatiable appetite

For my flesh.

An image representing me

Would be a fading silhouette

Under darkening cobalt blue skies

Fragrant blossomings falling
        
From magnolia trees

Running...........

Leaving etchings of footsteps
    
On the terrain

Vermilion hues illuminating
                  
As I go.

My dear
I have never told you
I used to be jealous
Of the moonlight
The way it got to kiss you
Goodnight on the cheek
It cut like a knife
The yearning

In your infuriating eternal oblivion
And I in my juvenile infatuation

I would love nothing more than
To watch you smoulder into ash
By the flame I carried
And kept burning for you.

These feelings of hopelessness
attack me constantly like a tidal wave
And when they do they leave
me feeling like I will forever live
my life being trivial.

It’s something I can’t explain
Like how the wind blows
suddenly and violently and in
it’s aftermath leaves nothing but
pandemonium.

I feel overwhelmed by my own emotions.
My ability to control them
diminishes everyday.
If my future is something that
is in the cards
I want it now.

This feeling of longing for distant places and different people is consuming me.
I long for a life I have never had…
Not something better…
Something different.

I miss someone I have never met…
Someone I am not sure even exists.
I cannot accept that this is all I will
ever be

There is a possibility that things
will change and a possibility it will stay the same.
The odds are it will get worse if
I don’t stop digging myself into a
bottomless pit.

I am screaming silently only I can
hear the harsh sounds of my
stifled screams
The noise is deafening.

I feel like I have been falling off a cliff since the day I was born..
When will I finally slam onto the ground
I am not afraid anymore..

Maybe I need to reach an even
lower rock bottom
before I can stop fighting myself
It comes and goes in gigantic
waves and it leaves me feeling
like I will never be more than this.

             12 September 2013

I identify with ghosts
Making the pine floorboards
Creak in the dead of the night.

Every abrasion
Is a souvenir from the edge
Forever pairing the glass of red
With melancholy
Place the pitiable ruins of this ephemeral vivacity
Through the shredder
Go forth and breeze through life
Never mind the dagger
In my back
Cast a shadow on my existence
Crucify me, captain.

Bodies on the floor

                   strewn.....

Like vermilion

                    martyred roses

The ****** handprints

                         On the wall

Could pass for contemporary art

It was a colourful cataclysm

                                   In red.

Gravity lost it's grip

Suspended feet above ground

Throttling....

In the tightening noose of thought.

There is nothing new

               about this dawn

It is as rotten

        as the thousands before it

Life exhausts me

                          Life......

And it’s dizzying tedium.

Sewn into the garments of despair
Swaying to the sound of dirges
Souls trapped in crystalline miniature jars
Undefined, frozen
Glassy-eyed and drunk as lords
Cigarette thrills
On the terrace where dreams die

Society perceives them to be degenerate cretins
With no hope

The poets
Whose melancholy birthed creativity
And gave way to brilliance

Their astonishing translucency from laying it bare
To write poetry is to unclothe
Oneself in front of the masses

Frantic solitary motion
The night still in it’s infancy
Slathered in stale ambitions
The stimulus for discontent

There was nothing
I wanted more than
For my brains to scatter
On that very boulevard

Send me to my maker
I uttered
Under my weary breath

This ******* town
Will never have me.

Awakened mind
Body trapped
In reduced consciousness
Laying in a comatose state
Stitched to the mattress
Frozen
Cannot speak
Cannot scream

Repressed hysteria
Suffocating
Under the weight
Of the invisible intruder
The presence
Anchoring me down
Obstructing my breathing

Dark shadows
Dancing
By the chest of ****** drawers
An apparition of a bearded ******
Standing at the edge of the bed
Appears
Dark particles of fabric fill my eyes
I fight the fight
This shall not be my demise
Wake me up
I will die another day.

The visitant frequenting
The dreams of my slumber
In the hours of darkness
Appeared yet again

His face was obscured
By dazzling luminous colours
His aura bled

Deep in the trenches of my viscera
I feel as though
I have been breathless
For a thousand lifetimes
Awaiting his arrival

Hypnotised by the mystique
I felt his soul converge with mine
The phantasma I adore
The skeleton key opening me.

I have resented you for many lifetimes


Your smile
Irradiated my darkened room
Filled the vacuum
In abundance
  
Your presence was an impermanent antidote
To this..... state

You were just a mere mortal
With this unfathomable effect on me  

I have resented you for many lifetimes
The way you took permanent residence in my heart
The way you carved your name into my bones
The way you departed... this life
To leave me... like so


Perpetually chasing your ghost

Until I become one.

Ferocious and dispersed

The vultures glide

In the stratosphere

Devouring what was god.

Here,
Pry your clenched fist open
Let me hand you
The parts of my life
Which you think you own

Watch me as I consume
This translucent capsule
To fulfill your prophecy
Of my ruin

Beam as you observe me
Limp through life
Perhaps toss an avalanche of obstacles in my way
When the time is right
Take everything away

Hang me by my feet
Let the venom dribble out
To leave a wilted Scorpio

Display your utmost faith
In my abilities to the masses
All the while
Whispering words of dispiritment
In my ear

With you around
Life is a journey
To a concrete wall.

Bathed in vermilion anguish

Hollowing out the delusive notions

From the catacombs of the mind


Ensnared in the quagmire

Of disgruntlement

Pulling an endless string

From the throat.

Subdued by inertia
Gutted enthusiasm
Fragmented and carelessly stitched
I lay here bleeding on your new carpet

Widening  gaping holes on flesh
No glory here
Decayed hope
Circling the circle
Pray, scream, ache, wait
WAIT AND ACHE
Wait, god ******

Can you hear?
That's the sound of a heart breaking
------------------------
Call it....
Time of death : 7:57pm.

Precise incision

Secretion of vena sera

Immortalising the hideous actions

Of my adolescence.

Deprivation or consumption
The familiar quandary

I traverse this treacherous world
With a mind crazed by ravenousness  
Satiation is the ultimate fail

Bludgeoning the lethargy
With this astounding
Inexhaustible fortitude
I seem to possess.

The stench of burning flesh and *****
Imbuing the air
Carcasses of infant demons
Putrefying in the crater
Dissected impure angels hemorrhaging
Repugnancy dominates

Shrieking
Quivering
Floundering as they flutter their rotten wings
A profusion of worms
Falling from mouths like a cataract
Smoke coming out of their halos
No longer reigning
In this, their hades

Swollen with beasts in utero
Perpetuating abominations
Soon it will be their turn
To liquefy in the lava

Cheap wine will entwine with
***** dreams
As we fall into an idyllic slumber
Our hearts will thaw
And come dawn
we will feel again
__________

Hold me close
The ceiling is giggling
The furniture is conspiring against me
___________

Pretty girls foaming at the mouth
And other pleasant imageries
__________

Trip over your carefully crafted trickery
Tumble down the bottomless grave
You dug for the betrayed
The exquisite sting of karmic balance

Another Friday night
No variation to this existence
They are out there
Living it up
Falling in love
And I am here
Bashing my head against the wall
Furious with myself for eating a grape


Eyes fixed on the ******* television
Decaying on mother’s sofa

I feel like a fossil
At Twenty-two years and forty nine days old
Pathetic levels are high and rising


My thoughts are fermenting incessantly
It seems my mind is brewing something horrid
Blood dripping from my temples
Down my face
This daily struggle
Is squeezing everything out of me
Hungry for greatness
I refuse to rise
For anything less.

Crippling anxiety :  On special offer, no returns

2. Depression : Free shipping

3. Bipolar : 50% off

4. The acute self-doubt and pill habit package, buy one get one free.

Life ****** out of eyes
Throat burning exquisitely
From the volitional disgorging
Hit a new low
On this very day
Left the door standing ajar
And more demons of consumption trickled in

Swift rhythmic beating
Of a delicate heart
Hand on chest
Out of breath

Sliding into bed
To let it engulf me
I pray to fall into a deep torpor
It has been a rough decade.

Built with the strongest bricks
On this shaky terra firma
Cracks in my foundation
The structure still *****
Towering walls
Assembled with concrete
To shield..
Still under construction
I am the architect
Of my destiny.

The fluorescent red

Suffusing the skies

Shall turn into a raging inferno

Mankind will

Incinerate into damnation

On the night of the blood moon.