I inhaled
It felt as though
I was breathing in sulphur
I exhaled and ached
Forever

I pondered the elusiveness of hope
How what remains of it
Flickers and fades
Always
I witnessed the castle
I built in the air disintegrate
Into a million particles of matter
Dreams do turn into dust

Swirling in a vortex
Of hopelessness and discontent
I cannot free myself from
In the centre of something mightier than who or what
I could ever be in any lifetime
I questioned the incomprehensible nature of life
And how I lost reason
In my feverish chase for excellence

I reached the finish line
Of an arduous journey
The applaud ceased
Eventually
Then everything
Was riddled with silence
I wept.

Those who fight,
Surrender
When memories of a tainted past
Collide with fear of the future
Finding themselves wishing
They were oblivious
To certain  things
If not everything
To obliterate that which
They are privy to
From their core
For their psyches
To be a blank slate
To be written
And re-written
By their own hand


" To author their own souls"

Eons ago

The red that pulsed

Through my veins

Turned into ice

I have been standing in a corner

Facing a wall

Perfecting the art of

Who gives a ****.