It was a question I had worn on my lips for days –
like a loose thread on my favorite sweater
I couldn’t resist pulling –
despite knowing it could all unravel around me.

‘Do you love me?’ I ask.

In your hesitation I found my answer.

The monster waits
His prey near
Hidden in darkness
Feeding on fear.

The hinged door has fallen open
inviting me to step outside -
Death, be not so hurried
to grasp my wrinkled hand.
You've come for me too early
I must make a few demands.

I've not yet said farewell
to those I've loved and lost,
nor to those who once loved me -
whose hearts suffered at great cost.
One more time must I take in
the fragrance of magnolia,
feel the wind muss my hair,
and say a final prayer.

Do not pity the gasp of my last breath.
Life was a sampling, a test,
a temporary state of existence
until Death reached with persistence.
I walk slowly to my grave
not taking his cold hand.
Death does not afford me help.

No choir voices do I hear sing,
no celebration ending my life.
Freedom is awaiting me,
that only Death can bring.
Shed no tears of sadness,
tis for you I mourn and weep.
You must live in this evil world
and I...  I shall merely be asleep.

I am but just a nickle..
That's what you said to me,
when you threw it at my face
"all you're worth, you worthless being"
With a penny as my partner,
together worth 6 cents
I feel our value dropping
I need out while I'm ahead.
Bruises on my arms,
blisters on my hands.
Beatings from this guy,
who calls himself a man.
He's sorry for the hurt,
then not sorry again.
I can't do this much longer,
It feels like the end.
He grabs me by my hair,
holds me in the tub.
The bubbles fading slowly,
as my lungs are good and numb.
With one last breath I look to him,
to see what he has done.
He takes my throat,
begins to choke.
Its over,
I am gone.

I watch the waves crash in, breaking on the shore
All their anger dispensed on the oceans floor
I look at the sky so blue, sun shining so bright
Spreading heat and happiness with its blinding light
Long blades of grass swaying in the gentle breeze
Dancing in rhythm with so much ease
Look up at the trees hearing the singing of the birds
Happily chirping singing at ease without words
Sitting here holding my knees to my chest
Watching and hearing nature at it s best
I ponder how Nature could get it so right

Sometimes the dance floor for everyone else is a boxing ring for me
I go in expecting trouble
And come out bruised
Or with an injured partner

Spend enough time doubting your corner man
And he’ll quit
This shouldn’t fill you with as much relief as it does

Fight the urge to be hypnotized by professional dancers
Instead find a quiet studio and stare at the mirrors until they talk to you
Until you talk to them
Learn to dance
Expect bruises
But inexperienced feet still make noise

Know yourself
Learn yourself
Not present you
No mirror is clear enough for that
But future you
Let no matter how foggy the mirror
You can still draw a moustache on your face
And kids in the background

Then dust yourself off
And get back on the dance floor

Not all monsters are evil
and protected hearts have keyholes

To one monster cutting was cutting
Didn’t matter if it saves or kills
To the other finding god and her maker was a goal
And man or machine died in her path

The monsters met
They laughed
They killed
They saved
They loved
They lost each other

One was captured
And god’s avatar turned over the world pursuing revenge
There were other deities now
Ones that played with the little people

The monster that was the first ones avatar did all she could
Burned the world pursing her love
And lost her god along the way
Her god chose to sacrifice herself for the monster
Because people are not interchangeable
And even monsters have hearts.

(c)Mottelz

She says "Cupid is irresponsible."
I say "I think he lost my address."
She says "Love hurts."
I say "So do life and death."
She says "I've been in love so often I feel like cupid's been using me for target practice."
I say "I can count how many times I've been in love on an amputee's stump."
She says "I feel bad for you."
I ask "Why?"
She says "Because love is worth it."
I say "I have love."
I say "I have known love that does not fade,
The love between parents and children."
I say "I have known a love both reliable and invisible
The love between true friends."
She says "It's not the same."
I ask "How is it different?"
She says "My love is like a volcano, all passion and warmth. It comes from deep inside you and flies. It flies higher than either of us ever could."
She says "Your love is like a coal. Always there to keep you warm, but it'll never fly or burn like my lava."
I say "Your lava crashes and cools. But so long as someone's there my coal will always burn."
I say "People run from your lava, but they gather around my coal."
She says "But you can't form an island with coal."
I say "You're right."
"Aha!" She exclaims. Thinking she's got me.
"But wait." I say
I tell her "I intend to find your love. To find that lava and ride it, and I know no matter what I do I can never truly prepare for it, but that doesn't mean I won't try."
I say "I want that love you speak of."
"But" I tell her "the only way to survive a volcano is to prepare. To strap down all your possessions and to get a gas mask."
She laughs at me and with a wild look in her eyes she says "Then how do you enjoy the ride?"
I smile and say "Not as much as you, but I can stay on that ride forever."
She stops for a moment and looks at me.
As I get down one knee
and ask
"Will you marry me?
Will you show me that love you speak of,
a love of beauty, passion and rage."
and with a tear in her eye
she says "Yes
I'll marry you my little sage."