Running as fast as I can to a familiar place.
Stucco walled buildings surround me.
I keep to the street, I know this street.
Three feet down there is a crack next to a dandelion I refuse to make a wish upon.
Street light after street light, 5 minutes turns to 3 and my footsteps are silent and unmovable.
And in this moment exhausted, exhilarated, and exposed, I stand.

There are many moments like this.
Strident silence is my mistress now and in our affair, there is solace.

Running as fast as I can to an unfamiliar place.
Barren dessert hills surround me.
Shrubs, pebbles, boulders and dirt.
I expel disinterest onto these foreign trails and watch as it soaks the ground with apathy.
Dull greens turn to offset browns, crippling reds and insensate charred black.
And in this moment, isolated, desolate and infinitely free, I stand.

She will always be here, there, tomorrow and now.
Comforting me with her deafening screams, I found acceptance for what I can not control.

So I run to her

Three years and what do I have to show?
A love sick husband and his alcoholic foe.
There are bottles upon bottles awaiting disposal,
wherein lies my empty proposal,
I will quit.
I will be better.
Things will change.
But does he know of my sorrow and my conflictions?
That maybe "us" isn't the right situation?
That time only told of our failing and misery,
and our inability to escape our unforgivable history.

I hear the hurt in his voice when I call him every day
and I know of the words he's fighting to say,
I can't do this anymore.
I hoped things would change.
It's over.
You try to convince yourself that things will be better.
You try to convince him of the things you wrote in that letter.
I will do what you want me to, to keep you here,
but I cannot sacrifice myself, to whom I am sincere.

A hopeful relationship ruined by an act of selfishness.
A yearning to love but retrained by oppressiveness.
So does hurt, and a want to love save a ****** connection,
or does fate condemn it to eternal damnation?

And in this moment, this one infinitely ceaseless moment
there was bliss, euphoria and a love component.
For when he spoke of his heart and it's spiteful opponent,
I found myself yearning for his loves atonement.

A smooth criminal and a family man, he stunned me into amazement
with an astonishing smile from love lost in a previous engagement.
So in my quest to free his heart from her empty enslavement,
I will cherish our moments in memory of this open arrangement
And live without reason in my journey to his loves final attainment.

My first poem of the year and neither resentment nor refined love will reside in these words or take refuge in my reluctantly resurgent heart.
For I bear a ravenous appetite for life’s silver platter with romance revered through love a la carte.

An uncontrollable thirst thrashes in my throat thriving in my esophagus as a craving for the Open Road infuses my bones.
How long I withered away waiting writhingly to walk the paths I’ve woefully dreamt about that ought but take me to all unknowns.

A path paved perfectly between the placid hills of the East and passionate oceans of the West wherein paramount knowledge plagues the mind.
But there is no foretelling the fabled beauty of the open Sky, the Stars fluorescing and illuminating the epiphanies I frantically search to find.

From love to life to salvation and struggle, the Stars send down their answers easing the sleepless sorrows consuming my dreamless slumber.
However, I am saved through the comfort of knowing I know not of anything in all that there is to know from this off chance cosmic encounter

There are inexplicable mercies hidden in your ingenious words, that irresistible touch and those impeccably authentic thoughts. I am humbled and infused with pleasure to be a vessel of your love.

There is a containment of euphoria nestled deep within your heart that only angelic hands can breach. Because you are a Saint, a prophecy sent from whichever heavens you praise to fulfill the desires of my soul, our souls.

Our souls, for your love is limitless and is found in every heart, in every vein, and in every mind as an infectious delicious and delightful disease. Rare in severity, true in antiquity, your love knows not time nor its conditional confines.  

Vessels of your love, we are intrigued by your astounding beauty. Sagely brown eyes, a charmingly chiseled chin, and calloused hands only a man could bear. Adonis himself envies your dangerous allure.

Whichever God has sent you, their purpose was clear; to savor the souls of many and reclaim all hearts lost to love. Without you, my world would fall to internal damnation. You are a savior, a saint, a prophetic being sent as an answer to our payers for our remorseful redemption.

I am madly in love with you, is that not clear?
When you talk about her flawlessness and I have everything to fear,
You text me asking for advice on your girlfriend and I'm still here.
You call me asking for advice on a girl whose intention is clear,
To tempt you with a life outside of those three years.
In your compliments and love you seem sincere,
And yet I can not bring myself to disturb and interfere
Because I know you do not love me the way that I love you my dear.
So I will stay and I will persevere
Because I know that one day there will be no more tears.
And I will watch you be happy with another whom I will revere
As the woman who stole your heart and kept as a souvenir.

2 am phone conversations
From the Love I have lost
And a Love I will never have
Because I am No One
going No where
with No passion,
internal love,
faith
honor
or life.
Brown
green
hazel eyes
full of Life
radiant passion
going Everywhere
becoming Some one
learning to Love people
and stealing the hearts of many.
He has found a new Love that can
compliment him in ways I could not.
There is a new Love there and I will rejoice
in it, for he is happy
Who am I to ruin it?