my favorite season
the beginning is so beautiful
waves of orange, red, and yellow
float softly to the flowing green grass
and then the wind picks up
light sweaters turn into heavy jackets
the leaves start turning to gray
grass that was once green is dying
i try to prepare myself every time
you drift back into my life
it's just like the seasons
it starts off so beautiful and warm
like the sun shining in your face
until something in you switches
and the wind sweeps me off my feet
all of a sudden you're gone
disappearing without a trace
leaving me confused and hurt
and winter sets in and the snow flakes fall
masking everything in darkness

it started as an itch
driving on the highway
thinking about how sweet
it would feel to have your
smooth, cold touch
panicked but calm all at once
i quit you years ago
but all i can think of
is the burning pain you gave me
and how so badly i craved it
to feel you dragging across my skin
is it sick of me to miss you?
is it even more sick
that i gave in

you knew what he did to me
how he used me up
until i was nothing
you watched me drown my sorrows
and how he made me hallow
you saw me break down in tears
confused as to what i was doing wrong
you watched him break me
and you withered your way into my heart
only to do the same

boys tell me all the time
how much they’ve fallen for me
and i care for them
fall in love with the idea
of us living our happily ever after
but then i see your face
and i smell you on everything i own
and i look in to their eyes
brown hazel or green
but they’re never blue
not like yours
their hair doesn’t fall the way yours does
and their smile doesn’t sit quite the same
and their laugh doesn’t sound like you
and i realize
you are gone
you’re still alive in my heart
but your presence is fading
and you slip out of my fingertips
although they mean well
and they want to love me better than you have
i still find myself craving your touch
will i ever stop missing you
i don’t know but i’m trying
and i will try every day
until i stop comparing them
to you

“come home to me”
but that’s not my reality anymore

home was in your arms
it was in that goofy smile of yours
it was in that husky voice saying “i love you”

but now she is in yours
and i no longer get to long for that precious grin
and i only get to dream of those lost words

so here i’ll lay
waiting for the day
that i’ll get to tell you i’m here
i’m home

i was so naive to think he could be different
i sat there on that patio staring
trying to make sense of my surroundings
you reached for my hand and stared deeply into my eyes
your skin was soft to the touch and your pupils dilated
your words calmed me and i couldn't look away
you told me i am charge of what i feel
if i let myself succumb to the fear
that's all i will feel
i stared into those big blue eyes and listened to your honey voice
and willed myself to let go of the panic
you saved me from what could have been
and to you i am forever grateful