Your skin shivered in the midnight wind,
Your hair blew swiftly in between the spaces your gel left freely,
Your lips kissed the top of your cigarette and your crooked smile starred off into nothing in the darkness.
We passed through trees and the soft soil under our bare feet,
We were running away,
But the ghost of our past followed behind us.
We roamed the world trying to leave it behind,
But no matter where we found ourselves,
It always came along.
We traveled at speeds that could **** us,
But our demons were faster than any motorcycle that could allow us an escape.
We tried to forget,
But the memories never failed to return.
And when we thought we were ready to start a new life,
Our demons conquered us inside our dream now turned into a nightmare.

I wish I could break
Shatter into a million pieces
Of sharded glass, waiting to be stepped on.
Causing you to bleed wouldn't hurt me
Because I would already be broken.

This universe doesn't give a ****
Whether we're moving
Or camping out on life's sidelines.
The doers, in the end
Meet the same fate as the dreamers.

I want you to break me.
Work me until I fall apart
Until I can't take it anymore.
At least then
I will overdose on my need for perfection
Before I die of it.
You can take my needle from me
Before my heart stops beating.
Before it turns my blue vein black.

Then maybe I can stop craving
Everything that hopes to **** me off.

I looked down the steep cliff I'm standing on
And I tell myself, it's okay.
But in truth, it's not.
Because I replay a scene in my head
That I would fall and break
And then I'm gone.
I looked at the guy right in front of me.
And I tell myself, it's okay.
But in truth, I'm not.
Because I want to share my heart with him
And be each other's strength.
But my heart is glass.
I looked in front of the mirror
And asked myself, "why?"
And I found an answer
to why do I
have to be this way.
In every fear that I face,
I ask, "What if?"
A future that might happen
A future that might not.
What if I fall?
What if I break?
Too many what-ifs
Too many to waste.
It is the seed of fear.
The seed of restlessness.
To be engulfed in the branches of suffocation
Because of a two-word simple question,
What if?
There is blue in the great vast sky.
There is green in the towering mountains.
Wouldn't it be stupid not to open your eyes
Because you ask yourself, "What if I go blind?"
We do not want to be hurt.
We do not want the pain.
So we hide.
Hide.
Hide in the soft, caring embrace of fear,
But we do not experience life.
For before there is a butterfly,
there is the breaking of a cocoon.
Before there is the sun,
there is the breaking of the dawn.
It hit me.
Hit me hard.
Hit me fast.
Hit me through.
There is nothing wrong to be afraid.
But to stay afraid for the rest of your life,
is like holding a sword
but hiding in the war.
We have the power to fight.
We have the power to break free.
The first step is to stop
asking "What if?"
There is a magnificent world right there in front of us.
There is beauty of every kind.
And fear keeps us contained,
to experience what God has provided.
Earth is beautiful.
Life is beautiful.
It's too wasteful to waste it,
to live it with What-ifs.

I tried to talk to you to ask you why
To find why you told me goodbye
Why am I so stupid and useless
Why can't I be more selfless

Will I ever know why we died
Will you ever tell me you tried
Or that is was me that I failed
Just tell me this ship has sailed

Did you mean it do you hate me
Or is there something I don't see
Am I really that imperfect to you
I would try and fix it if only I knew

So I could stop crying in my room
Praying roses don't start to bloom
Fed by tears rolling down my cheeks
Did you hate because I was weak?

I want to get drunk tonight
To drift away on the stars
I want to feel the dizziness
And watch the blur of cars
But I'm still sober and awake
Not watching stars blaze
Not feeling the giddy buzz
and still seeing your face
****.
Why can't one drink do it for me