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I found out something funny about the world today,
when your life is going good
something tends to stain it grey

It seems like when your tears finally dry,
tricks are pulled to break you down
and make you cry

Whether it's a nightmare that brings every hidden scar to the surface,
or the departure of a close friend
it breaks through my inner barriers
so I can't pretend

I watch everyone else's pain
and take it in like my own,
I think misery
has become my new home

And every time I lose faith
in myself
in my family
in the human race

I find it that much harder to pick myself up,
wonder why I even care
so much

I take the good things
and make them bad
I take a happy moment
and twist them sad

I just wish there was a place for peace
where I was alone
Somewhere that actually
felt like a home

A place where it didn't hurt like this
a place where ignorance
truly is bliss.
I'm afraid to shut my eyes,
I'm terrified I'll see you there
in my dreams
again

I want so bad to tell my mom
why I want to stay up late
I want so bad to confess to her
the reason I hardly ate

I want to cry
and tell her whats wrong
but I've held it all in
for so long

I'm praying, I am actually praying
if anyone will listen
take this from me
take it off of my chest

because **** it
I'm doing my best
I keep thinking
that I don't deserve this

To be haunted
by a monster
that takes and takes and takes
and walks freely
unaware or maybe just uncaring of
the mess that he makes

Please
I just want to sleep
if it's not to much to ask
let my dreams be mine to keep
When you are lost within yourself
Open your mind and dust a shelf
Study your thoughts and be surprised to find
The beauty in the garden of your mind

Breathe in the fresh air around the trees
Intake what is real and set yourself free
Curl your toes into the sun heated sand
If seeing is believing, then feeling is grand

Allow your eyes to see clear and keen
An open mind sees beyond what is seen
To think that you are alone in your mind
Is to face one way, with the whole world behind

A flame waves fiercely when the wind blows
Yet when the wind comes, the flame never knows
A worthy friend is made in unexpected fashion
Ignite a relationship fill it with passion

Feel the sun's rays and warm embrace
Keep what matters most through all that you face
When you are feeling darkness's wrath
A flicker of hope will light your path
 Dec 2013 Antonina Berezowska
C S
They tell us not to look into the light.
But these are the same people that tell us
Not to worry about politics just yet,
While they pile onto an unbearable debt
That we will have to shoulder when we grow.
They tell us not to be so loud,
While they have stopped making noise
About things that mattered long ago,
Leaving those who can’t speak for themselves
To suffer injustice in silence.
They tell us not to try and change everything,
While the traditions they uphold
Are helping our society crumble.
They tell us not to aim so high,
While they settle for what the world
Has told them they deserve,
Has told them is safe and normal.
So I have something to tell them.
Are they listening? Yes, there you all are.
I dare you to look into the light.
I tell you not to look away as I do everything you’ve told me not to.
If this is breaking the rules, then rules were meant to be broken,
And broken doesn’t mean what I thought it did.
I will look into the light.
I’m not turning a blind eye anymore.
I’m going to seek the light, the truth, the complicated in the world.
Looking into the brightness will not blind me,
But blindly following a lost generation of settling,
Of deafening mediocrity and suffocating quiet,
Of hiding your own brightness
Would do worse than blind me.
It would **** me.
Or worse-
make me just like you.
I wear this mask to hide,
The pain and sorrow that dwells inside.
The crushed feelings, the broken dreams,
These tie my mask together at the seams.

My mask is a happy one,
With a grin from ear to ear.
But all this smile does,
Is shield everyone from my anger and fear.

My mask makes people laugh,
And for that I am grateful.
But in truth I fear if I take it off,
These people will become hateful.

They fall in love with my mask,
And that, I can clearly see.
But the thing about my mask,
Is that my mask... is not **me
A calm sensation
enslaves me,
soothing my mind
and warming my heart.
For in little time
i will disappear,
easily forgetting
the mundane
regimentation
of daily living.
Light fades
and a mystic shroud of
darkness
fills my sight.

No cares,
no worries,
only the peace
my soul
desires.
Floating on a
manufactured cloud
of comfort;
I finally
slip away
from reality,
and begin another
glorious session,
of sleep.
Born to live..but what for?..Love? Love hurts. Hating it but loving it I am bound by fate, the unknowing feeling that haunts my dreams and writes my life; do I really want full control my life? What is life if I cannot find danger in the risks I take..right on the edge of failure and continuing for that small chance to find that small, fading light that my heart so desires to obtain.
My eyes burn as tears slowly fall down my face my heart collapses. How could I have done this so wrong?? Its killing me slowly, forcing me to endure this torture..as if someone is very slowly sliding a rusted, burning, sharp knife through my chest. I struggle to resist this torment as my strength is fading fast; when will this end? Choking on my own pain I cannot find the right words to save my life..watching everything fade away I close my eyes and let this torture endure.
Three days have passed now and this torture continues to attack with nothing held back. Now I know this pain shall not cease until I start to repair my life; finding an ounce of hope I get up and walk out of my door. Frightened of failure I throw aside that thought and ask for forgiveness without expectancy. Startled by the reaction, we both struggle to live without the other..feeling the warmth of your embrace I feel a burning sensation in my eyes that I try ever so hard to resist. My heart is racing..seeking refuge in your heart. This is my home. I love it. I love you. I can't lose you. I can't lose this love.
The worse has happened..I lost you, you told me this is what you need. My heart shattered into a million pieces as my body goes numb..paralyzed by fate. Your eyes broken, red, crying into me as the world is collapsing on top of us. I struggle to regain even the smallest bit of my strength..several painful minutes pass as I finally say the word I never wanted to say..bye. As I shut the door I stop..no, what is this? I cannot lose her, this is the worst. I cast every thought aside besides you and my love. I open the door once more and walk towards you saying I couldn't be so stupid as to leave you. As you throw your arms at me I embrace you..I embrace my home. I no longer seek that light..for I was too foolish to see that everything I could ever need and want has been right in front of me all along and I have been stupid enough to make the mistake of even thinking about leaving. Back with you..I am now complete once more. The torture ceased. Fate doesn't control all of my life..I control the parts I wish to control the most. I breath you in..knowing what I believe inside..I am awake and alive.
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