Maybe if we smile
We can forget for a while
Then our pain will seem no more
And together we can walk to the shore
Because, you see, you were drowning
On the verge of death, willing
To let it all consume you
Yet, love was all you had to do
Do you love me?
Or are you just confused?
For it seems you have forgotten
That I will not be used
We weren't meant to be like this
So alone and broken
If you had let me save you
I wouldn't have spoken
I said hurtful words
You know I didn't mean it
I didn't want you to hurt
But can't you see?
This is killing me
No, I can't breathe
And I won't fall asleep
Because the blame's on me
Maybe if we smile
We can forget for a while
Then our pain will seem no more
And together we can walk to the shore
Because, you see, we were swimming
Trying our best to stay alive
Though I could tell you were willing
To let yourself die...

He had his own scent
His own type of aura
It came off like clouds of dust
From within his skin, burnt sienna
He had something shiny there
Some kind of hazy dream
But if I ever asked about it
He'd say it's not what it seems
You see, my daddy was a smoking man
But I didn't know quite yet
The meaning of that phrase
Not to its full extent
I was intrigued with his eyes
And the way he spoke
I would watch forms shape
From thick, grey, and poisonous smoke
He had something earthy there
Wrapped in some tin foil
He would rub it in his hands
And trade cash for his spoils
You see, my daddy was a merchant man
I learned that on a cold night
Sitting alone in his rusty jeep
When the other men wanted to fight
My daddy looked to me
Telling me to look away
Maybe, I should have listened
It was took late anyway
An explosion sounded
It's echo ringing in my ear
My daddy on the ground
Convulsing in fear
Screaming, someone was screaming
I stop to listen
And realize it was me
My feet were moving
And I was there next to him
Trying to stop the blood
That was covering my skin
He had a look on his face
Like he was trying to explain
But every time he tried to speak
He didn't know what to say
He had some kind of waste there
The wind had scattered all around
He was too deep in this world
No way else to fall down
You see, my daddy was a smoking man
Right down to his core
Couldn't see past the nightmares
To get off of the floor
He got lost in his hazy dreams
Somehow the pain would ease
You see, my daddy was a merchant man
But he let himself get burned
He risked everything he had
And got nothing in return
He took chances with gunshot wounds
Had some silly notion he was immune

I want to be fearless
I want to stand tall
And I want him to say he loves me
And break through my concrete wall

I’ve never known love
I’ve never felt its embrace
It’s never looked me in the eye
And told me that it was okay

They say that sparks fly
The very first time
I wonder what that’s like
I bet it feels nice

You’re not afraid of being vulnerable
Of taking down your concrete walls
And letting everything spill out
And making a mess of it all

But you say it was enchanting
It was like love at first sight
And you spoke of a love story
And a sparkling night

Tell me more of how it feels
Standing on the sort of holy ground
That makes someone fall to their knees
And want to dance around

I want to be fearless
Yeah, I think I’m ready to fall
And take the chance not being caught
Rather than not loving at all

The fact of the matter is I'm tired.  I'm absolutely and positively exhausted.  Each day I wake and lay in bed to question if getting up is really that important, if I really need to attend that politics class.  
You were tired too.  You laid in bed for hours, days, weeks, and never thought maybe you should go to work.  You weren't worried about the groceries that were dwindling in the fridge.  All you wondered was if Rapunzel and her golden hair could heal you of your pain.
She couldn't.
What makes me tired is that when you finally did rise up out of your bed, you walked out the door.  I never saw you again.  Funny, you woke up to leave me.  I guess I should be proud in some sick, bittersweet way.  Maybe I should applaud you for gathering all your strength to do what you actually wanted to do since I was a child.  Blame me for the emptiness in your heart.  I'm the one who showed up and disrupted your peace.  Send me to sleep at night for me to wake to no one in the morning.  Then I can lie in bed forever.
I'm also tired of hating you, of being so mad at you that my heart starts to boil inside me.  
The fact of the matter is you hurt me.  Sometimes I go to Rapunzel and ask for her golden hair but I can't bring myself to even look her in the eye.  Because now I am you.  The very essence of your cold and   sad being has entered into my veins and I feel like giving up.  Just like you.
Maybe one day I won't be tired anymore.  Then, I can get up and leave all the ones I love. Yes, maybe one day I'll have children to run away from and break them at the core.

After all, isn't it every girls dream to be like mommy?

One, Two, Three
Four, Five, Six
Fall asleep and dream with me
I’ll take away your sorrow
       WAIT, STOP
One, Two, Three
Four, Five, Six
Imagine you’re in a field full
Of your favorite flowers
One, Two, Three
The flowers are set flames
      TRY TO WAKE UP
No, you cannot run, child
Four, Five, Six
Try to focus on my voice
      DON’T LISTEN!
The floor disappears and you’re falling
One, Two, Three
Four, Five, Six
But don’t worry, I’ll catch you
You’ll never know pain again
     COME ON, GET UP
Trust me with your heart
Leave it in my arms
One, Two
We’ll sleep forever and here
All your dreams can come true
Three
      LET ME GO
Stop resisting me!
Four, Five
This is the only way to be happy
Give up your heart to me!
     NEVER!
Six…