In my empty room


Someone tried to get my attention






                                                                               *Pssssss

I sit by myself at the road
looking in all directions
Hoping for a sign.
No idea what I'll find.
A man passes by
'What are you waiting for? '
He asks.
'Am not sure, ' I reply.
He shakes his head and goes.
I watch the sun travel round
marking it's territory
finding it's comfort zone.
The sun sets and still I wait
My gaze set on the fading blaze
Twilight dances into moonlight
And then you come by
Walking your dog.
A light comes on in my head
I run into your arms and hug you
'Do I know you? ' you ask.
I smile delightedly and replied,
'You will.'
You hold my hand and we walk
Through the night to the dawn
No wasted words or chatter
As the sun rises we realize
This is exactly what we need
It's everything meant to be.

No sir,
I'm quite sorry,
but you don't, you can't, nor will you ever understand.

Please sir,
I don't want your advice,
its complete ******* to be blunt, and who are you to say what I need?

Stay sir,
Just listen to me, listen,
and let me know I'm audible, lie and tell me it matters to you (or anyone).

Really sir,
I'm doing entirely fine now,
please turn the tables on yourself so I can hear the same story again tonight.

Goodbye sir,
I must be on my way,
its fine that you won't flinch at my departure, what more should I expect from a friend?

I thought it would pass
This enchantment am under.
longing for you everyday
Yearning for something out of my reach.

I drowned it out with music
loud brash beats
Somehow became a melody
slow haunting and nostalgic.
I cried myself to sleep.

How do you live alone
Knowing you can't have love
Cause it's a shameless flirt
Dancing out of arm's reach
Wearing a coy hard to get smile.

I am besieged
by the pain of emptiness
Troubled by the despair of loneliness
for it's you I want
and yet you only appear in dreams
making me wake in a hollow symphony
More alone with the knowledge
Of you're surreal parting.

The festival was bustling
With sights and scents
When I caught yours
It just seemed to all make sense
You walked over and said hi
I just smiled as awkward as I could
But just before you could wave goodbye
I picked up the rifle and asked you if I should

You nodded and told me to try
So I gave the man a dollar
Asked myself "How could this be? And why?"
I looked to you and down the sight
I prayed for that prize, closed one eye
Saddled up and pulled the trigger with all my might
The tin can hit the floor and you clasped your hands
Together in time, I've never felt so up in my life
I asked you what you wanted
You said your favorite team
And you got it

But you walked away
You said "I'll see you later"
When I expected you to stay
I guess I was just selfish
I guess it was just a stupid wish

Even in the silence
In the stillness of night
I feel you near like a ghost
Hovering and watching
Waiting for me to pick up the phone
maybe I will, maybe I won't.

In the dawn of a new day
I feel the echo of your touch
a light caress on my arm
Pulling me closer
I love to snuggle in your embrace
Especially in the cold air.

In this crowded room I lose you
You're not for me to share
For I had you and held you
And now all that remains
are shadows of what you were
Light and unreal and cold
The silence chills me to the bone
I can feel it in your resolve
you're not mine to keep
in the warmth of my heart.

My hate
For you
So strong
Can't even
Bare to
Look into
Your demonic
Eyes that
Once enticed
Me
My hatred
So deep
I cannot
Let go
Nor forget
I hate
What you've
Called me
Hate that
I was
To be
Ignored for
The care
And friendship
That I
Had stupidly
Offered
You are a
monster
A beast
In a wonderful
Disguise
But I can finally
See the real you
Beneath it all.

Between my lashes I see Death.
I feel It suspended above me, masking my eyes.
The iced winter air won't be the only to take lives.
    I have no excuse.
They scream, but who is to help them?
"Blessed are those who Mourn, for they shall be Comforted"
    But who truly feels the Lords warm embrace?
    Who truly feels saved?
For those who starve, are pushed out of our minds.
    The holiday season would be ruined with the grip of Death.
Those who weep, receive no shoulders.
    But are ignored, who has the time?
We scream to the clouds, begging an answer.
A sign,
Anything to prove we aren't wasting our time.
But those who starve, still starve.
Those who weep, still feel the warm tears.
     And we have no excuse.
Again we beg and plead to our "Merciful Lord"
    But who hears an answer?
Mary's bleeding Hands and Feet?
We bare false witness to hide our fear.
    So if He wont Comfort the Mourning,
   Should we do it ourselves?

              *Does anyone feel saved?