My parents always gave me enough rope
To hang myself
And that alone kept me
From crafting a noose
But you
Gave me enough rope to hang
The both of us
And that, my dear
Is all the more enticing

Regretting something said or done
In sobriety
While ******.
Mostly social interactions I suppose
Things I think I shouldn't speak,
Maybe its just me.
Why can't I see the common line
That divides this communal collective
Of what's generally perceived as
Normal.
Maybe its just not in me.
And maybe something's
                                                          Missin­g.
Like its
                 Not
                             Quite
     ­                                       T h e r e .
But nowhere else,
Either.
So maybe if you make me a
Map
Of the way humans should stay on path
I should take it
Like everyone else but I'm gonna have to
Pass on that
Because it would still only be just
As useless as the next thing
Or other
Neither will stitch the pathways like veins
To a translucent permeable
Sieve of a person
Cause these preset standards and demands
Are too much to ask for
The place of blood in these
Hollow vessels.
I should know,
See I've bled myself dry.
I'll scratch at my scars when they itch
But I'll ditch your insistent opinion about it,
Cause I don't need that ****,
Don't need nothin' and not needed.
Just stuck in between lines
On this compass of life
The clock of time
And the lines in my skin.
Wearing the world with
Mirrors for eyes.
Stare in all you like
There's nothing behind
But the knowing I'll never fully describe
Anything to anyone
In a way that is what I mean;
It isn't words that fail me,
But my unfathomable capacity to
Comprehend at all, and if I
Were to conceive a consciousness
Could I ever really communicate to you?
I don't think so, but
I won't ever know.
...
I wonder what sober me
Would say right now.

nobody warns you about the first boy who tells you he wants to marry you.

nobody warns you about the tangible shift in the universe when he parts his lips to smile.

nobody warns you about the poetry he'll write you or how your knees will weaken or the melancholy hidden between the layers of his laughter.

nobody warns you that miles will morph into lightyears and you will curse the ocean for being the only thing that keeps his fingers from resting between yours.

nobody warns you about the day his sweater doesn't smell like him anymore.

nobody warns you that human hands are incapable of holding a person together.

nobody warns you that sometimes love is not enough, no matter how much you wish it was.

nobody warns you about the crippling nostalgia that renders you breathless.

nobody warns you about the nights when silence screams for your blood.

nobody warns you about the crater that forms in your chest in the middle of the night when he doesn't answer.

nobody warns you about how it's going to feel when he tells you he's in love with someone else.

nobody warns you that forever is a lie.

- m.f.

No comforting hug can beat yours.
No branch of emotions can beat your stability.
No problem can subdue your determination.
No drum will beat louder than your success.
No one will beat you in the fight.
No heart beat can match with yours
Other than mine.

The blind man sees with fingertips
Kisses his wife with his lips
Hugs his children in his warm embrace
Never will he see a face

He knows the steps through the house
Cannot see it ,but can hear a mouse

He walks in darkness all the time
At times I think he sees more than  I

Not limited by what he sees
The man who can hear the falling leaves.

He told me that his father had been murdered
I picked the wine with the purple bird
and a beak shaped like a cork *****
ran into an old boyfriend at the liquor store
because life can be random with our emotions
his beard was already taking shape
one year of mourning marked by his son
it felt like a social gathering, looking out of
my window, how I had the best view in town
then, how the hospital below was excruciating
how his shirt had been covered in his father's blood
how he had not been able to talk to anyone
because he needed to be strong for them
how Dad had tried to bargain with his killer
and that image was giving him nightmares
he just wanted everything to feel normal again
a friend and neighbor
one glass of red
shoveling dirt until the casket was covered
his buddies were waiting at some guy's apartment
a helplessly sad hug goodbye
he smelled like Aveda, although I didn't mention it
how humans can walk and talk while dreaming nightmares
subliminal messages between the living and the dead

I have to translate this emptiness into something tangible
Something I can easily digest
Because, currently, it is choking me
I want to see this beast with my own eyes
To stop those mind numbing questions
That have me drowning in self doubt
Am I sane?
Is this real?
Because it sure is real enough to lay me out on the ground
Questioning the reality of the stars watching me from great distances away
Sanity, such a fleeting thing.
Decided by culture and the forces that be.
It is hard to think outside of the box
When it would leave you drowning in the sea.