Pick up the Pen,
                Put it to Paper
Write to Write.
        It is your therapy.
                     Where you find release.
How things come out.
              Do not analyze it.
Just do it.
          The words will enact
                    What They Must.
Most things will be for you
              Because you have allowed the turmoil.
Why do you fear?
          Why find it so hard,
                                             discouraging,
                     Unpowered
To allow your passion,
                                       Learn the knowledge.
Daunting,
                  Yes.
End goal?
                None.
                             So far
                                 Right Now.
Lost from Home,
        from touch,
        from tender allowance
                                 to be so calm
Not on the edge
               Wistfully walking this manicured path.
Though I do not believe they exist.
                      At least not wholly.
Some things get easier,
                      A path you do not have to clear,
Sadly most fought through.
                  Know what you need to do.
Why can you not find the energy?
                                     the desire
                                     the anything
To sit down and read what angers you,
                            That anger feeds the passion
Passion such a daunting task,
                                               repeatedly kicked down.
So much courage lost,
                                      Not built,
               Drained away
Must learn to step forth,
                                         Crash into what is there
Just go out,
                     You make yourself alone
Trying to end
                        The endless cycle.
Trying to gain some advantage
                        Over this creeping Darkness.

Sometimes Emotion go
                                      Into the
            External Bound.
                                         It Matters,
                        Not Matters.
Because it is not yet time to heal,
                                             feel,
                                            Be Real.
If it rolls back...
                          Explore what is there.
Do not let another Moment pass.
A 'thing' that is not real because it is in
                                          Your Imagination.
Lies in the Abstract.
             You change each plot,
                    Beginning,
                    Middle, and
                        End.
Leaving careful detail in those small
                   Tender Touches
All Mind,
                Soul,
                         Body.
That leave Impressions...
                                         But are
                                                      Not Real.
Go out,
             Seek discomfort
                                Contort it,
                                Use the Imbalance,
                                 And Brace for Confusion.
Always better to Know then lie Awake

                                               Wondering.

Want the mind to stop
            Because it is though to bring Peace.
                            Yet,
                                   when if does
If Right Now
                     Your brain is actually off.
This form of being possibly more agitating.
              Is there an in-between?
Or Constantly Running
                                       Full Speed Ahead?
If not constantly running
                                     This state you are trying to
                                                  Escape.
Then you are Not
                                You.
Stop Running.
                          Stop Avoiding.
Those small things.
                               That worry you so.
Is your individuality.
Is who You Are
                   Take off that ill fitting
                                                       uniform
Embrace your True folds
                                        and Be Happy.

When is
               "I could've done
                                           -Insert Dream Here-"
Too Late?
                  Is there something holding you back?
No.
        Really.
                    What chain are you secretly,
                                  possibly unknown to you
                      Burdens your shoulders?
Why do you bedraggle your hopes
                                                        Thr­ough the mud?
Beating them relentlessly
                                           Until solidly convinced they are
                                                           No More.
Because you
                    were never good enough anyways...
                             never could have done it.
Doesn't matter why.
                                  Any reason will work.
You.
          Do Not.
Need anyone else.
                             Feed yourself confidence.
Build from within.
                                Want to know how?
It is actually very simple.
              You know those Hopes?
Those
             or That
                             One thing
                                              You want So Much.
Pick it up.
Go Ahead.
                  Yes, You can have it.
The only thing is.
                             It tends to be hard work...
Many tedious hours.
                                   But the moon stays Full
                                        One Single Night.
It's whole perfection lasting fleeting minutes.
                        Yet back around it comes>
So will the
                  Pride
That fills your mind,
                        body,
                        soul,­
                                 This total complete bliss...
How is that not worth those hard
                                                        Sing­le hours?
It can't be
                 It's Not
                              Because all those hours are Fun.
Cherishing,
                    True,
Though struggled
                               They brought forth New.
A quiet new skill
                             known only to you
To bring Forth that Bliss
                          That single adventure sought by You.
Think Back.
                    Was it really just the one?


**Aug 24, 2013

INCINERATE.
                           To Ashes.
Million bits of Nothing,
                                      Dissolving in the Wind.
Burned
             and Passion carries forward.
This ache and pounding
                               Booming Louder
Must break false chains
                                      That hold lips so tight.
For what purpose lies in sealed lips?
                                 Information Forever Lost
Unless
            Spoken.
Fear no consequences,
                                    What could possibly happen?
Many things will surface,
                                             Nothing left buried
Or hidden...
                      Heart aches,
                                           feels lost,
                      Alone.
That those feelings shown,
                                            Exist
                      Within you,
                                          so Passionate.
Those words...
                         As Eye.
Similarities Grow,
                              To Me...
     See how this Passion Builds?
Thought tear through haze into this
                                                            Aching Belief.
Recognize.
                  See.
                           I cherish it so.
But will let go
                        Learn to let go
                      Because thoughts show
This one thing
                         where 'belief'
is a comfortable word.
             The only thing to describe
That black hole my thoughts lead to
                                               When on you.
Somewhere.
                    Known.
Then the Foolish feelings grow
                   Then your words float back
Two Halves of a Whole...
                 Is 'Marco' not echoing
                                      Loud Enough?
So now these shoulders shrug,
                                                   lip curled;
                                                                    indifferent.
Suddenly confident,
                                   Just want facts known.
Lips will move with steady
                                             Concentration
Trying to communicate
                                           Truly.



August 15, 2013

Is fleeting.
Possibly an illusion
               Intangible
Allowance.
                  Does Love always follow?
Perhaps versions,
                            Different crowds
different personalities
                           Yet Same.
Just searching for a constant
                         Maybe stumble into one
Hard to know,
                        Nay
Impossible.
So easy to spit lies,
                              Incomplete truths
This actions completely outside oneself.
        Completely,
                           and Absolutely
       The Other Person.
How many chances?
                                   Possible to get back once lost?
Limited, patient, costly...
                               Who do you Really Trust?


                                                        ­                                            **August 1, 2013

This Burning,
                      This Passion,
                                             This Fire,
                 This Pressure in my chest.
It Builds
              and Towers until this odd and almost
                                                          ­                  Unwelcome feeling presents itself.

I want to take it out,
Hold it in front of Me,
      That glowing orb.
I want to analyze it.
                                Peer inside.
Witness what it beholds.
Yet this is not a physical witness
Anyone can Attest too.
Nothing that can be held.
               Except me.
                                 It is Me.
                                                That is You.
Waiting to burst forth and be
                                                Freed.
Maybe that is why you can already feel it Me
                                                              ­         l
                                                               ­     t
                                                          ­gni
                                                    Away,
The­ Burning Pressure,
              Receding.
That undefined ache of your Soul.
               Finding Breath
Do not hide it in.

Mix of Excitement
                       And Fear
As you grow to let it
                                             Shine.

You will Feel Better,
                                 Empowered.
                    Confident and  
                                             Fine.

Take that Glowing Orb.
                                       Allow it to
           Light Others,
As you know you should,
                                           Have.
                                            Will
          ­                                  Can
                           ­                  Do.
                                          
In small.
             Growing ways.
Planted the Subtle Seed,
                                  waiting to receive
                                     Nourishment.

Being alone
                   Surmounts this feeling
Becomes Encompassing.
            No Escape,
                               All Fear.
Not knowing where it's coming from
                                            Or why it brings me Tears.
Do not like being stuck,
                                 Feeling Stuck Here.
It is always possible to Remove Yourself
In Fact,
             Several different ways.

Constantly remind self that
                                              Presence is Desired.
Have trouble feeling Welcome
                                     Hate Hiding in the Corner
Finding comfort in it's
                                      Cold,
                ­                                Tired Embrace.
Longing to Step Free.
                           Climbing the Confidence Ladder
                            Through the Maze of Hate,
                            Around the Thrashing Waters of
                                             Deceit.
Quietly,
              Heart Screaming,
Some will fall away.
                                 Evidence of False Need
                                                     False Friend
                                  Be wary of turning into Foe.
Scared to Lose,
Fear Gaining,
                             Not Living.




July 29, 2013
**Edited August 3, 2013