I used to be* Broken puzzle pieces
The computer locked me out
Left me without my sense of mind
The only thing that mattered to me
My words
My story
My poetry.

He's the type of guy
That can't kiss a girl in front of his friends
The type that doesn't even know who I am
The type who just wants to **** around with girls
And **** around with there feelings
Like he did with me.
Make them fall in love, and b r  e a k there hearts and just leave them
Leave them to piece themselves back together
He's the type of guy
The type of guy that can't kiss a girl in front of his friends
The type of guy that just can't love the unlovable.
He's that guy.
That guy that could never love me.

I'm bleeding and I don't want it to stop
I want to drown in the pain
Drown in the blood
Am I crazy to crave pain?
After what you did to me
You hurt my heart and I am bleeding inside
But right now I'm done waiting for the pain to subside
You love her
And what am I?
A broken girl
With no alibi
I am nothing to no one
a no one full of nothing
A broken girl that can't stop cutting
Does anyone see this?
My cry for help
I guess not..
I'll just keep bleeding.

Don't cry, pretty girl.
You're beautiful to me
Don't cry, little girl
Stop for a moment and see
That everyone around you
Everyone, and me
Loves and  gives a **** about you
Someday you will see
That you're not the only one that feels all alone..
So don't cry pretty girl
Don't waste your precious tears
On people, ugly people that are ruled by there fears..

Don't think about yourself that way
I love you, and I'm here to stay
If those people hurt you
Then desert them before they desert you..
You're strong, pretty girl
So Stay strong
"Fake it till you make it, right?"
No
Be who you are
Don't fake it
Don't fake you're smile
Your precious smile
You're unique not "useless"
And if no one else will take the time to get to know the beauty inside of you
And they leave you
Well guess what?
I'm here
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll even be your person to make fun of if you really want..
I mean
I wouldn't have stuck around this long, If I didn't really care right?
I wish
I wish I was just, like you
So strong..
So beautiful..
So don't think about yourself that way
Don't carve it into your arm
Or anywhere, for that matter
If you'd let me in
Then I'd try to heal your scars
I can be a good friend
If you'd let me...
"I love you Sophie"
And I mean it..

You* put me into the hospital
Then call me selfish
You make my arm bleed
And then call me self destructive
But are  you  that blind..
That you don't realize you did all of this
Because of  you
I was in the hospital
Because of  you  I'm "self destructive"
Because of how much I cared
About   you
I almost died
Sure, I used to be self destructive
And yes I do have scars on my wrist
But  you  might as well,  Have made them yourself
After all the ****  you  did to me
Me caring about you
Doesn't make me
"Very selfish"
If anything it makes me very selfless
I stuck around so long
And found more excuses to stay by your side
When everyone else told me  you  were no good
When everyone else told me to leave
I couldn't leave you when you needed me most
Because I'm not like you..
I'm not a selfish person
And when you started lying
I stayed..
Even though I was breaking at the seams
I still held on to  you
And that was my mistake
And I'm sorry..
I'm so sorry
That you think I'm such a bad person for trying to help  you Always thinking of you, for caring and giving a **** when no one else would..
Staying up all night and crying
About you
About  your foolish actions
Like stepping into my life
Like making me care..
Even after what happened..
Michael
I can't stop my feelings, for you
Even though you're a narcissistic *******..
I can't save this heart
From the damage
That you caused
When I gave you my heart so willingly
So foolishly..
And you crushed it
In the hands that I wanted to hold so badly
It was all done by The only person in this world I ever wanted to love..
"You're beautiful"
"Ily"
"I promise"
It was all *******
Pointless
Meaningless
Lies..
And it's not my fault
That you have problems
It never was
Because
I'm only human..

Bed ridden..
Heart broken..
Miss spoken...
I've been through it all
And right now
There will be no more...
"Because I can no longer hold up my walls"
I'll Let my walls c r a c k
And s h a t t e r
and c.l.a.t.t.e.r and b r e a k
And then everyone can see
Who I really am, a total mistake...
Not a word will be said, not a tear shed..
As I let emotions leak through, these old worn down bricks..
And wash me out
Leaking my infectious behavior
Draining these betrayed feelings
None of them will be missed..
Maybe then
People like me.. won't have any doubt
Maybe then I can, yell at the top of my lungs with frustration and shout..
"Maybe then"
"My world will change" you tell me
But maybe then..
My stupid ******* heartlessness will come back into range
And then there will be no love
No morsel of respect..
Meeting me I promise you is something to regret
Maybe it's better to be alone..
Maybe it's better to be unloved
Because when you get to know me well...
*Push comes to shove

Maybe when I'm on the news
And the headlines tell the world I'm dead..
Maybe you'll keep your mouth shut
For the other girls you use..
Spare there lifes..
When you didn't care enough to spare mine
I thought you would understand considering that you're depressed to
But no
Instead of telling people the truth
You lie, And I understand because that's all you know how to do..
But the fact that I gave you what you wanted
And you play me like a fool..
Because you couldn't keep your mouth shut
You couldn't stop the narcissistic behavior for just one day
And I
just don't know what to do anymore
And I'm so embarrassed.
After what you did
Even if there not laughing at me
I still don't want you to be hurt
Because everyone's laughing at you..
What you said, sure it hurts
News flash, I still really care about you
But don't blame me, if I don't have the strength to see you again
To return your smiles
Or say yes to your desires
It's too late now
For everything
For hope
For us
For me.

You tell me to talk to you
That you can keep a secret
But all you do is lie
You call out my name
But I won't humor your ******* anymore.
I thought I could trust someone who is legally bound to keep my secrets
But I was wrong
Oh, so wrong..
The one time I learn to trust, to open up, to let it all go
You tell my deepest darkest secrets
To the people I tried so hard to keep them from..
I could say you b r o k  e my trust..
But you did much worse than that..
And I'm done.
Oh so Done with you.

You wonder why I cut?
You  wonder why I cry?
But little do you know you are the reason why.
You are my crutch and my broken leg
My rock and my shattered heart
But by the littlest of your n o n s e n s e you completely t    e   a   r me apart
You c r y, and you c r y
And tell me your not good enough
But you can't see what I see
And sometimes when you cry
*I wish I wasn't me

Like a bird with lost wings I need music to help me sing
Teach me to f l y
To run away
And I promise to return one day
I need you to untangle me
Free me of these rusty chains
Let the wind b l o w
And through the clouds we will g o
Flying away from are troubles
And out running time
Flying faster, and faster
Intill we can't go on
And again s o a r i n g toward dawn
Basking in the beatiful sunrise
I'm finally free
Because
My dear
you have untangled me.

I can't believe I just did that.
I made a stupid ******* decision again.
All my friends were telling me not to..
But I did so anyways.
He'll tell people I know he will, and I'll be forgotten about
I had my chance to be a good girl, to change, but it's all over now..
It doesn't even matter anymore
Because either way I'd be left in the dust
He used me and I let him
I was just another "cute girl"
Just another stupid, good for nothing"cute girl" to him
"This meant nothing"
"We are nothing"
And that's all it will ever be.

You spin a lovely story
A web made out of silk
Full of fictitious behavior
But
Do you ever feel the guilt?
Do you ever see the blood, or the tears that you have spilt?
You feed off happiness
And leave people alone in the blackness
You are your own fears
And my very worst nightmare..

They took me away from it all..
Made me start over
Took me to the hospital again and called me "Crazy"
Told me to take my medication
Told me to sleep without any worries
Told me that everything was going to be okay, if I **** my... pills
Forced me into therapy
Made me talk about my "Problems"
P r e t e n d e d ..
Like I was going to get better
Or at least humored it
Now I sit alone
Like usual
I told you I needed you..
That
I needed a place to stay
S o m e o n e
S o m e t h I n g..
But no..
You told me you had to much "Anxiety"
That I needed to "figure things out"
That you wouldn't "let me in your door" if I ran to you
Because I needed you..?..
Who says that, when someone needs them?
What kind of a person..
And then you go and write a poem about me the same me you wouldn't even open your door for..
I mean seriously can I not... trust anyone..
And I love how after all of this I'm still considered the "Crazy one"
After what you did
Did you even take the time.?.
Did you know that I was going to **** myself?
Maybe you did..
But you still wouldn't open your door
You
Didn't listen...
And now..
Now..
Well, I think I'm going "Crazy"..

Once upon a time, there was a girl
A lonely abused, broken girl..
A girl,
Who every birthday
Just wished for a friend,
A girl,
Who cried herself to sleep every night
And woke up with a smile on her face the next morning
Because she had hope
Oh, so much hope
This girl, went to school every day
And got laughed at
Got told to "Go **** herself'..
Got told she was a "Stupid *****"
But she still had hope
Hope for a better day tomorrow..
Even though she had no friends
And never has really had any
Is always laughed at
And called names, sometimes by the people she loves most
She would sit in her room
Hoping for hours
For things that never came
Like a friend
Mainly that's what this girl thought about
For years it was the only thing on her mind
On her foolish, immature, idotic, mind
But eventually after all those  years
Of thinking, and hoping and wishing
All those ******* years full of hope
She ran out..
Ran out of her precious hope..
And now,
Only now, This girl realizes that there are, and never will be a happy ending for her.

Seriously
Please just spare me the misery
Talking to you, is like eating r a z o r  b l a d e s...

This room is full of blind eyes
As I sit
And listen to these sore excuses for lies.
I cry a couple tears, and cut myself a little deeper every time..
And
When you all see the cuts, you look at me like.. I've, committed some type of crime?
But it doesn't seem to matter to anybody.
Caring seems to be everyone's antibody.
But no matter how blind
Everyone else is always on my mind.
My parents, tell me to **** it up.
The people I trust, leave me.
And the only thing this ****** up world does for me is endlessly deceive me...

Never again* will I let someone inside these walls
These walls that took years to build up
These walls that hold in all that pain
That ******* pain that you caused..
All these bricks, all these tears, all these feelings, all this hurt.
It's all because of you, cause you treat your "friends" like dirt.  
I don't give a **** anymore
Not a single F
                          L
                              Y
                                  I
                                     N
                                         G
****.
You're a two faced ***** that has a permanent case of dumbstruck
Never again..
Never again
There's to much pain that you caused
Never again..
Never again..
Will I let someone inside these walls..

You could've died last night.
And I was scared to death..
I carved it on my arm
While, you took a much needed rest
I told you not to do that.
But you did it anyway..
And it hurt when I heard what you did
That you were just so ******* stupid
You almost got yourself killed..
And I was scared to death for you..
But you acted like it's nothing
And it hurt
Somewhere deep inside
That even if it meant saving your life, you wouldn't even consider taking my advice..
All I have ever asked from you is for you to, play nice..
And it hurts, the scars still sting..
Because I'm supposed to be protecting you
And I couldn't save you from what you did.
And I don't know what to expect next
And I'm scared to death.

"I'm getting over her"
Oh  yes I'm sure you are
But not before you decide to hit me with a ******* car
My advice was, to nice, to generous to you and when I gave you some ******* slack you played me like a fool..
See my emotions are not to be "played with"..
Especially not by you
Considering the fact that you can't even see what's true..
She uses and she loses
And when you're lost, you'll know, that she's the type of person that always comes and goes..

Fly away little bird
You mean so much to me
Fly away, fly so far
You're finally free
It's okay little bird
Just stretch your wings and fly
It doesn't matter, that when you're gone you're lover will surely die
Just soar through the wind
Without a care in the world
It's okay now, because your feelings for her have unfurled
So fly away little bird
I assure you, it will all be okay
Even though this bird will never find another way
Loving you
Little bird, is all she knows how to do
And as much as she trys
She knows you can't learn to fly, and love her too.

"I hate to bug you"
Really?
Cause you're "bugging me" with your existence .
So why don't you just stop tormenting me.
Forget the thirty eight dollars I owe you, like you forgot are friend ship.
And turn around and don't look back.
F
    U
         C
              K
                     O    
                            F        
                                   F
You bugged me.
You got what you wanted...

Tears are
f
a
l
l
I
n
g.
There
C o l l e c t i n g ..
C o l l i d i n g
C r a s h i n g
Into what once was beautiful memories of me and you
I'm drowning in the salt water
Bubbles are forming at the top
My heart is about to stop
There is no us
And I'll be a good little girl and I won't put up a fuss..
So if you really don't love me, let me blow of some steam and let me drown in these
puddles of fallen salt water dreams...

How am I supposed to understand
You
I mean what do you expect me to d o
You claim not to like me "that way"
And it hurts but I except it
And then you go and neglect that feeling
And leave me feeling electric..
I don't know how I should feel anymore....
I don't know what you want...
But I know that
When you leave
this broken heart you will *haunt

"She could easily get one"
Of course she could
She's to busy being pretty, better then me her..
But I understood..
I wish you could..
All the guys love her
And what am I?
A tiny girl that people p a s s  o n  b y..
You loved her, you love her
You b ro ke me, I'm broken..
And now finally the words that I never said are spoken..

I still really want to fix you
Glue you back together
Fix you so you can't break, ever again
Hold you in the dark, when you get so scared..
Tell you it's okay, when we both know it won't be
Even though I'm gone
I don't want you to break
Ever again..
After what she did to you
Even if it takes my last dying breath I will
Complete this puzzle.
This puzzle full of broken pieces.
Shattered dreams, and a broken heart, everything that makes, up you.
I don't even know why anymore..
But I just really miss you..

How do you expect me to believe in myself
If you can't look in the mirror and believe in you
You're the best friend a girl could ask for
But yet you can't see it
How come I can?
You tell me all these things about myself that I've never noticed, never wanted to notice.
You told me something that has never slipped out of anyones lips besides yours..
"You're beautiful"
And you told me to believe it
And I did
For a moment
A slight second..
I trusted you
I let you in, and I don't do that with anyone besides her
But it really does hurt that you think of yourself that way.
You're amazing
Perfect, maybe a little to perfect.
And I wish you knew
That I can't belive in myself
Inless you can believe in you.
"You're beautiful"

He* sits right behind me.
With his back turned away.
From this disgrace of a girl.
That can't help but think of him...
Everyday, every second
Even though he used her
For something *so mindless
Even though he b  r o k  e  her into tiny pieces
Over something so small
She can't change her feelings
For a boy who can't even look at her...

Hiding away
Laying under the clouds
To scared to move, so I don't make a sound.
To scared to get up, and go searching for you
After all, hurting me is all you seem to do...