While sleeping


Why is it mornings, so far in the distance,
flowing from beyond tempered shorelines
on lone standing bridges ~
always seem to call in the midst of a dream


When sunrise illusions now erase sleep
on meadowlark borders dotted in dew drops
built in the confines of spring
with fall fast approaching ~ featuring shadows stretched of time


Long on the porch, weathered and beaming,
tapping the front door with marching band fingers
in trumpet blares and bass drum beats ~
yet quiet in the state of mind seen through blurry eyes


Still ~ a before smile, brought about the prior evening
forces dimples once again in my cheeks
igniting the darkness with three-ring spotlights,
streaked of circus beacons on popcorn ceilings


Reminding ~ the dream I have found actually lives in my daylight,
slipping around corners and window sill gaps,
finding me on the brink of now,
stumbling my way to where I long to be ~ awake


For my dream is you,


who I so desperately miss ~ while sleeping

a malt liquor brain bath to deaden the nerves
his entire body is encased in a crusty scab
hard enough that he can’t feel your smile
…much, but then…
he tries, scared eyes breaking contact
his stories are wrapped in laughter bandages
because it’s funny that the nuns
would humiliate him in school
and that his brother killed himself
by jumping off a bridge in St Paul
doesn’t every kid dream of having a bi-polar mother?
that was the brother he could talk to by the way
the other kids, well, just as mean as the nuns
a funny story alright. tragic comedy of
a sensitive soul with a pillow over its face
until it was smothered almost dead
arms flailing in desperation, muffled cries
“there is new skin beneath this scab!”
**** it.
pour some beer on this thing until it drowns

Butterfly haunts me
flutters by in the dark of night
when the smoke cleared
all that was left was a still photograph
no breath to be had, no words to be spoken
perched upon my mind where no one can see
all the secrets that taunt me

Left behind in in your spirit
like an erratic zephyr they twist my head
nothing sacred in how you fled the atmosphere
I oft wonder have found that freedom
as you floated from this earth
markings on the sky of colorless clues
the painted scenery still not clear
all that's left to do is exhale poetry

Between us silence is the enemy
breaking the silence is victory
years that passed by
silence seems too good
sometimes i wish for waves
in between this surrounded wall
the walls we built
bottled us up...
the feelings we hid
the words we kept
the love we buried
plastered in this wall
this silence wrecks me
this silence burns you
between this brick wall
the funeral of love..

I started to write a poem
That was so full of hate, and bile,
That it made me retch to re-read it.
That's not the way I am,
I won't be reduced to that.
You have done, what you had to do,
Nothing more.
I can't judge you for it.
I deleted that poisonous poem,
I won't start down that road.
I still care, I hope that will change,
I hope that you are okay,
I forgive you,
In the hope that someday
I can forgive myself.
It is not easy to write this,
I don't want to forgive,
And I don't want to let you go,
But I will, and I must.

Oh, goodbye,
Goodbye,
You were everything, and now we're nothing.
I will miss you.

I will miss you.