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 Oct 2013 Nicole Pierson
AJ
Son XIV
 Oct 2013 Nicole Pierson
AJ
We've got ourselves into quite a nice daily routine.
My little ghost boy and I.
Collin wakes me up in the morning with his squirming
He is only four, so you can imagine how early that is.
He eats some cheerios and an apple.
I got to my classes for the day and work,
And Collin plays with his fore mentioned friend, Jordan.
I make Collin something for lunch,
And we practice reading and writing.
We watch some Arthur or Dragon Tales
We run some errands
He has some ghost pasta or vegetarian hot dogs,
Or anything really, for dinner.
And we tell stories till it's time for him to go to bed,
And time for me to write my essays
And do my calculus.
And then I hold my sleeping ghost baby
And rock him back and forth
So that my life doesn't feel so useless.
Other stories about Collin can be found in the collection "Son", which you can find if you look in the notes down below.
You should be afraid of me
Most people are
I'm a monster of emotions and broken parts
Don't try to piece me back it's not worth the struggle
I'm in the land of lost toys hiding neath the rubble
I'll come out some day when I'm good and ready
But not yet sweet child for these delusions are heavy

Hanging from the noose is my poor soul
Don't come up or you be pulled into my cold
Dark hands reaching for the surface
But the water is murky and your face a blur
I'll find you sometime when my eyesight is clear
But not yet sweet child for I'm not one to endear

Rings at the alter I'm swaying to the music
My sins I have bore will soon make me lose it
I lie and I love and I dream and indulge
But nothing is worth your soul I engulfe
One day I'll be strong and speak the right lines
But not yet sweet child I need to go for a ride
I just wish you were here
With me
I wish I could feel your warmth
I wish I could wrap my arms around you
I wish I could kiss you
Because you're mine

You're so sweet
And sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it
Because of all the mistakes I made
And its weird to me
That you love me more
Then I love myself

And our relationship is different from the others
Because
We did it
We make it work
We proved to the world that
If you really love someone
Distance is just another bump

I loved the way you talked
About the most meaningless stuff
But yet it was so meaningful to me
How you wished you had wings
So you could travel
See the world
Live

But love you see
Not all angels have wings

You told me how you were going to take me with you
Show me the world
We would be unstoppable
But life got in the way
And we said it would all work
That we would find a way

But it does get hard
And I do miss you
I miss the way you would poke my cheeks
Even when I told you to stop
I miss the constant teasing
When I tried not to laugh
I miss the way you hugged me
When I had a bad day
I miss the way you said I was beautiful
When I doubted myself
But what I miss the most
Is when you would hold me
And tell me you loved me
Because right then and there
I knew that you will forever and always be
*My angel with no wings
 Oct 2013 Nicole Pierson
Fletcher
I found you.
Among the dust and water that makes up each one of us, I found you in all of your uniquity.
For a lifetime I loved you without knowing it.
And then I met you,
knowing immediately it was you I had loved all along.
Eventually life, pride, ambition took me away from you
to worlds where people sit strangely, eat strangely,
even walk strangely and sleep strangely.
But strangely enough, we were all the same.
And we laughed at this realization.
I took you with me.
We walked along the Bosphorus drinking pomegranate juice,
listening to the drums and strings and rhythmic Ottoman voices that caused our souls to ache.
We tasted sand, brought in on the wind from that barren desert rich in so little but greed.
We visited cities in jungles, where local fare made us thankful for our many hours spent cooking, and perfecting the flavors that help define us.
I took you with me, my love.
You helped me don my suits and tie my ties and kissed me as I held you close before another day's harangue.
But in your mind, you were never there.
And you made me see:
A world separated us. And so I moved it.
So, I’m just a. . .friend.
I’m just your down to earth buddy that keeps you company.
Makes you laugh. Makes you happy. Keeps a smile on your face.
So I’m just your friend.
I’m always just the. . .friend.
And sure, I love friends. I’m so happy to have them.
I’m glad to make them laugh. Happy. Smile.
I love just having friends. . .and only friends.
I love making people feel better about themselves, or making their day just a little bit better.
But why though, am I always seen as just-
a friend.
Never anything more. . .never even thought of.
And sure, I’ll get the once in a lifetime friend.
That has considered it. But why is it always someone I-
Just want to be friends with.
And I turn them away. And I hate it.
I hate knowing that someone actually saw something in me.
That they thought of me more than just a friend.
But I can’t feel the same way. And I feel guilty and angry and sad and I just want to run up to you and apologize with everything that’s in me and tell you that I want to be more than just your friend but I cant--!
I hate it. I loathe it. I hate that I can’t make myself feel that way.
I hate hurting my friends.
I hate turning them away.
So please, my friends.
Always think of me as just--
Your friend.
Nothing more, nothing less.
And find someone else that can give you more than my friendship. . .
Ever could.
Because, forever, eternal, I’ll always be just. . .
A friend.
_

'o7
It should mean a lot
Just to be able to call you a friend
But it hurts
It hurts more than just standing back
Because from the back
I could pretend
I could pretend that it was me
The one you wanted by your side
The one you wanted to hold
The one you wanted in your life
But really it's her
It's always been her
And I can see why
I can see why it's not me
You call me your friend
I call you mine
I'm happy enough with that
That it only stings some
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