I drove my car to the cemetery.
I was a little late getting to our meeting place.
You were already there, by the same tomb stone you always are.
Wearing a tired expression on your face.
the dark half moons cast shadows under your glistening eyes.
You hand me a present wrapped in newspaper and i'm sort of surprised.
I open it and see it seems to just be trash.
you look at me as if you were a closet hoarder and you're showing me your secret stash.
You smile sadly,and say..
"I can't fight your battles for you
This time, It's your own war."
shifting your gaze
you looked down at the gift.
"This is the diary i started writing the day we met."
you said.
"And I won this pack of stale cigarettes off of you in a bet.
These scraps of paper are all the notes we passed back and forth during class.
oh, and you dropped this penny during offering once I finally got you to come to mass.
this paint sample is the color we said we'd paint our future house together.
when we were were messing around in the department store.
we chose a brown like leather.
But, that doesn't matter anymore.
you just didn't see me take it.
or slip it in my pocket.
oh, and this"
she said holding up a golden heart shaped locket.
"My father gave me this before he died.
It's meant for my wedding day.
There's a picture of us inside.
It's yours now.
I wont be getting married anyway.
Sweetheart, I know who you are.
Maybe, to the wrest of the world you can hide your ****** preference.
But not to me, I know the difference.
Don't feel guilty.
You didn't hurt me.
You never deserted me.
I've thought about this a lot.
I was mad at first.
I thought you were sinful.
I thought you were cursed.
But there's nothing wrong with how you are.
It's just my love for you is so strong.
And it won't go away.
This has gone on for far to long.
I shouldn't be making you stay."

I sat there in disbelief heartbroken, and a little relieved.
as I watched her walk away.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

I wrote you a text message
But I didn't hit send.
I started to call you
but instead
i hit end.
<3
Every time I didn't,
I almost did.
<3
all your hair pulled into the little knot on top your head caught my eye, no doubt.
Or maybe, it had something to do with the way your bottom lip pouts.
Or how, thanks to those thick glasses the oceans of your eyes are magnified.
God only knew there'd be a tsunami when you cried.
you always looked as if you were about to cry.
I hope there's a storm named after you.
I'll listen for your name on the weather, news and the radio.
Because I know I'll never see it flash across my phone.
<3
You never showed up that night.
Why'd you leave me alone?
I don't hate you.
Please, don't think that.
It just still hurts,
the way you
knocked me
off of my
throne
<3
I don't hate you, You were a great story.
But every book ends.
Try to believe me, I really do want to read it again and again.
But every library book has to be returned.
or there's a large fee and my pockets are burned.
you see the world is our library.
and I only borrowed your story.
I have to return you now back to your shelf.
for you to collect dust and reflect on yourself.
one day someone will show more love than I did when they turn your pages.
And they will release all your unpublished chapters from their cages.
all in different writing and editing stages.
and all written in braile because love is blind.
Our Story Is Overdue.
I can't pay the fine.
I have to
return
you.
</3

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

she wasn't much, I barely noticed her.
She almost never talked, but was more of a listener.
she wasn't a head turner but was instead silently beautiful.
She was always pleasant and saw the glass as being half full.
She had eerie long eye lashes like spider webs.
And looked through them with half closed eyelids.
Oh, her sky blue powdered eyelids.
I wonder what she saw behind them.
Because, I know it was more then darkness.
Everything about her excreted light.
I always thought she was harmless.
She was a peacemaker, the first to back out of every fight.
But when you fall in love with her she doesn't provide a harness.
You'll fall hard, but she'll tell you everything will be alright.
And before she left me, I'd never seen a starless night.
She was no one to me, turns out what matters is who you think you are.
I guess in her own mind she knew she was my star.
And I should have known because everything about her excreted light.
She said were as free as birds.
But now I know where as free as Kites.
there's always stings attached.
I realize we weren't the ideal match.
But I hardly knew she was there.
Truthfully, she was the only one I found who even cared.
So I kept her around like a pet..
and so it went,
I never thought she was important.
My view of her was distorted.
She was just the scent in my bed sheets
And the lipstick stain on my cigarettes.
on my dashboard there are footprints.
And i thought 'that's all she is.'
but she was so much more.
she wasn't much..but she was my star.
we all are, stars.
Made of the same matter, both made of the same dust.
I thought we were nothing, i called this lust.
she wasn't as harmless as i thought.
I called her my safety net but I was just another fish in the sea who got caught. Maybe it wasn't lust.
I think
I love her
I think I love her a lot.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

As far as you know,
You've never hurt me.
You never saw me cry, not because I never wept..
I just never let you see.
It's been a while since I've slept.
But, if you must know there are mascara stains on my pillow case.
that's something you'll never see on my face.
Because I don't want you to know.
It's not really lying I'm just putting on a show.
I'm being strong for you.
I'ts the least I can do..
Hey, listen..I'm sorry
I guess I really was wrong for you.
But I need you to know you were right for me.
Congratulations, You've finally taught me the difference between a
want and a need.
wealth-Want
Popularity-Want
Oxygen-Need
Health-Want
Family-Wan­t
Confidence-Want
Water-Need
A Father-Want
You-Need  
             Need
                           Need
                               Need
Oxygen is actually worthless, it's your aura I breath.
But, As far as you know.
You've never hurt me.
I'm doing just fine.
I've moved on now.
I have someone new to call mine.
And yeah, he's nice,
for a want.
I guess, acting strong comes with a price.
I don't want to love you, you know.
But I do.
I guess, that means I still need you.
But I don't want to.
You've taken This wild stallion heart of mine
And turned it's busy hooves into glue.
I never understood how you hurt me or why you'd want to.
But now, I think maybe it's that you needed to.
Because everything happens for a reason.
Reasons,
There squeezing the truth out of me.
Finally.
But, If everything happens for a reason
And breaking me is what you needed to do.
Then Why
Why
Why do I
need you

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

In America the legal age to be considered an adult is eighteen.
And were all so excited when were EIGHTEEN AT LAST
But, some of us were already grown ups.
Some of us grew up too fast.
When you're a kid
you should spend the night in your bedroom, your very own place.
When you're a kid
You shouldn't be afraid of who might come in to your room or invade your "personal space"
When you're a kid
You should have friends by the dozens
When you're a kid
You should spend the night at your friends house or your cousin's.
When you're a kid
You shouldn't spend the night at hospitals.
When you're a kid
You should't know anything about popping pills
When your'e a kid
you shouldn't be worried about paying the bills
When you're a kid
You should be spending the night on your roof under the starts.
When you're a kid
You shouldn't make your own scars
When you're a kid
you don't have to know who you are
When you're a kid
You should be a kid
When you're a kid
You shouldn't be spending the night on the street.
When you're a kid
You shouldn't get rides from any of the strangers you meet
When you're a kid
You should spend the night in a tent on a camping trip
When you're a kid
You shouldn't drink alcohol, not even a sip
When you're a kid
You shouldn't spend the night in jail
When you're a kid
You shouldn't need friends
just to pay your bail
When your a kid
You should spend the night somewhere safe
When you're an adult
you should raise
kids to be kids.

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

I was on the way to see my girlfriend.
when I saw you standing next to a broke down bronco.
I new you were my dead end.
You wore patched up overall shorts with loud mismatched knee socks.
I didn't even make a phone call to tell my girl I turned the wrong block
Your frizzy hair was Kool-Aid dyed with every flavor ever made.
I meant to stop to help you, I'm just surprised I stayed
your eyes were lined with match stick ash.
Why am I attracted when everything you are's a clash?
I saw your arms painted with bruises from when he through you out with the trash.
You're not trash.
Believe me
You're not trash.
You're a Raggedy Anne who just needs some stitching up.
With a heart broke down like your bronco, just needs some fixing up.
I don't know
I mean
I don't have a magic syrup
or anything..
I'm just hoping this time that Love is enough
so, what do you think?

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn