I am ****** without a thought
of all the things that I forgot.
I'm busy standing in the rot
of everything thing that I am not.
I am **** straight out of luck,
Its a cliche to rhyme with '****'
but, I'm just not original.
I'm scripted by my ridicule
and I ****.

This is funny, but not funny.
You can take that how you want.
But, to me it's been misleading and it's time that it must stop.
I've not been done wrong by anyone else;
this mind stuck in atrophy was produce by myself.
How many demons run this show?
They're screaming all the time.
I think my body is treading water
and I'm waist-deep in this grime.
It's time to save face and vow for self-improvement.
It will be a ******* revolution- there is bravery in my movements.

I'm pulling skin through my hair
and chewing down my nails
in disgust.
"This is a collections agency in an attempt to..."
Recorded words are always chosen so perfectly;
"an attempt" is right-
and a ****-poor one at that.
"O' conglomerate!
I've got your answers right here."
I've been walking around headless
on the shiny dime of the state
and I wouldn't have it any other way.
"Everybody needs more money." I say,
"And I sure as **** need it more than you do."
Get going.
Get lost.
Get headless if you must.

We live under floorboards
on watch until you to come.
You won't see the threat
in this ghost town facade,
but we will bind you in chains
and we'll drag you along.
We will pillage what is useful
until all is merely none.

We need your water,
but we don't need your food.
For dinner tonight,
the main dish is you.
We feed upon life and
take pride in your deaths.
We're the one's who live on.
You're survivors at best.

while every color turns to white,
every color leaves at night.
laying down just feels so right
when i close my eyes to glittersight.

My alarm clock screams.
Been awake for three hours;
so ahead of the game,
unaware of my powerless range.

I’ve been tossing, turning, creaking,
coming up with new names;
another attempt to link together
all of my fireless plains.

Hey, I’m running on fumes.
Hey, I’m Eugene Tooms;
stretching, twisting, warping,
got you reaching for clues.

It’ll all come together,
posted up in my room;
just typing up a dichotomy
of life as a lifeless plume.

Grief giver, soul killer.
I could ruin lives
This isn't self flattery,
It's my possessive pride.
Yet, still I mumble apologies,
it seems they're never old.
But, the freshness of our purity
has since been turned to mold.
How many times can I say I'm sorry,
before you'll even know?
I hope that one day you can trust in me
and realize I have grown.
Well, now you're in a rut,
but you should know this.
I know you'll tough it out
and you know I'll notice,
because I can always tell you at your fullest.
I know a smile can keep you afloat.
It makes the pressure lessen around your throat.
Breathe in that air, here comes the sun.
Good days are coming, your course has not run.

Nested topic,
co-diagnostic.
Inverted spirals
contain the heroes.

Double cross me,
ensnare the copy.
Commitment en masse.
Only we can stop me.

I'm the helm of a gunship with a questionable crown;
only the uncivilized still live on the ground.
And now it is how I took control of the bow,
floating one thousand leagues up here in the clouds,
that is haunting the population that looms all around
while my only concern is the safety I've found.

I'm in the buff,
ankle-deep
in guts and stuff.
I'm feeling pretty
sick and gritty.
In fact I'm feeling
really ******.
My nose is clogged,
my chest in congested,
my body is on fire
and I'm wearing my bed-head.
My feet feel wet
and I'm feeling regret.
I'd prefer to lay down
on a silverware set.
That would be better
than feeling this weather
that hangs all around me
as if it were December.

This is
a time
to have
and to
hold
and to
yearn

Oh, songbirds nestled in a treetop
singing songs, well that's what I want.  
I'd change the world, I'd change it if I could.  
I'd fight harder than I once fought
and take pride in all that I've got.  
I'd offer more than offered if I could.  
I'm standing at a junction
finding temporary function
in coping skills I've gained from only me.
I've prepared for an eruption,
but couldn't fathom the corruption
that I've been holding all along inside of me.  
I'm too afraid, so I'll just run then
to get away from what I've closed in.  
I'd open doors but I can't, that's just me.

cut man
disrupts depression
unconsciously
a hero
in bits

I know I came home mad
and I know I didn’t say anything
and I know we had family time,
and it was fine.
I know I helped you go to sleep,
peacefully.

I know I’ve built a case
and I know who it’s against
and I know I’m buying time,
and that is fine.
I know that I’ve needed sleep,
anxiously.

It's a blessing that I'm poor,
because I'd probably be dead.
The liquids I've consumed, what I've put into my head.
I know it's a ******* weakness what I'd let myself do.
Yet, I'm still thinking clearly and I'm pretending that's the truth.
I've never been so happy, though life isn't quite ideal.
But, the things that I'm oppressing I've decided aren't real.
Still, I smile because I'm happy and I believe in what I feel.
Try to find yourself like I have and you'll be better off.
Show your teeth as I have and you'll be happy as a god.
Just keep your chin up like I do and you appreciate your life.
If you continue to be mindless, you'll never really be alive.

Right around the corner,
there's a hoarder of liquor.
He wants to put it down,
but he needs it quicker.
The problems that he solves-
they don't mean a thing.
He needs everything with everything.

With a sober-straight face
and hands with nothing,
I try to lay it out to explain something.
But, he doesn't have an ear,
at least not for reason.
The bottle that he spins
doesn't land on anything.

I'm the kind of friend
that won't ever listen
and I don't ever mind it,
because I'm open-minded.

I don't need friends
that can eat their feet.
With that foot in your mouth,
where do you keep your teeth?

Either the lights have been shut off
or the bulbs have all burnt out.
Is it really that dark out here
or are my eyes starting to fail?

I can't see far ahead.
I can't even see close.
I can't see the point.
I'm my virus' host.
I'll consume myself
and **** everything else.
I'm a total sack of lies.
I'm a virus hotel.

Please shake me free
from the grip of everything.
Or, please let me be
and let my hope rest in peace.

I'm not afraid of things I've done.
But, I'm afraid of what I might do.
I haven't found a thing I need.
I'm not sure I have the will to.

I can't see far ahead.
I can't even see close.
I can't see the point.
I'm my virus' host.
I'm a deathbed-ridden star.
I'm a kingdom that fell.
I'm a hole inside a hole.
I'm a virus hotel.

Please shake me free
from the grip of everything.
Or, please let me be
and let my hope rest in peace.

My lungs could inhale the sky;
clouds could fill these lungs of mine.
My voice could drown out the sound of rain
and its power could derail a speeding train.

When I walk, I make the world shake.
Heaven and Hell, they feel me the same.
I make the earth flat when it ought to be round
and my echo sounds how giants ought to sound.

Get comfortable.
Get back to what you think you know.

Become able.
Become the keen and valuable.

Be gracious, giving, heartfelt and kind.
Give love, give thanks, give peace of mind.

If you could buy a life,
what kind of things would you like?
How well would you sleep at night,
when things settle down and feel right?
If I could buy a life and show it what I've already seen,
I believe it would be frightened
and I believe it would believe in me.
If you could buy a life,
what kind of things would you like?

If you were here,
I'd make everything seem better.
I'd take down every single wall
until we had a lack of shelter.

We don't need a form of cover
when we only have each other
and if we don't want to be discovered,
we can go on a run forever.

If you were here,
I'd make the best out of this weather.
I'd spread the clouds across the sky
and help the sun see better.

We might need a little help here,
but we won't need much hereafter.
We won't need to fix disasters,
when we can just count backwards.

If you were here,
you wouldn't need any looking after.
I could set you in my eyes
and be set forever after.

Say what they want to hear
and they will follow without fear.
You've got to be a leader, man.
You've got to give it all you can.
Just keep the stops at bay throughout this Fall.
Anything for the better, one and all.

Say what they want to hear
and they will follow without fear.
There has to be a better place;
a place where we can show true face.
We need it now more than ever before.
We need to live, we need to be more.

Let's build from the ground up,
a fortress that cannot be touched.
a miracle home could give us so much more.

I stopped off at the moon,
on my way to the Sun,
for one final look at Earth.
Then I couldn’t help but stop at Mercury
for yet another glance
as my eyelashes turned to ashes,
set to orbit our star.

Nature in passing;
Autumnal awakening.
All must die to live.

You're as subtle as separate rooms in sitcoms.
Your conversations scatter like inhuman ****-bombs.

You're on your way to truth
and there's just no stopping you.
Save us the romantic, apologetic 'maybe.'
Save us the wrecking ball that we've raised like a baby.
There's just no stopping you.
I'm put out by the news.
Let's let the bias be the judge between me and you.

I'm as genuine as greeting cards on birthdays.
The only way to settle is to see how I play.
You sang your song and screamed during your recital.
You've soaked up many spills of plausible denial.

I can't stand the sight of you.
You're frightened by the truth.
I'm stifled by the way that no one is as weak you.

I've got slivers in my thumbs
and an infection in my gums.
I'm throwing out my stops
and setting fire to my crops.

I want to start this venture with a newly cleaned slate.
I've built bridges in my mind to new places I don't hate.
I've done things I've been ashamed of and I've done things I can't believe,
but the past is not my future and my faults will take their leave.

You can trust me now.
My dishonesty, I cede.
I've loosened up these chains
and made it possible to see.
So who else will to step out
to take a new life on with me?

Could you cut the ****?
Because, you sound like me;
playing on the edge of sanity.
Violets and violence
and things like defiance.
Could you just ******* trust me?
We all need some guidance.
Misdirection, perception and my misconceptions-
I might as well mention the years of deception.
Oh, the panic! The havoc!
"We think that we have it!"
Now, they've got us preaching
like screaming fanatics.
Go ***** to the wall.
I'm giving my all
and you'll only witness
my rise, not my fall.

Just a few,
Just for you.
Let's just see what we can do.
One last reply,
just for the night.
At least we're doing something right.

Could
you
come
to?

Just a few,
just for you.
We don't aim before we shoot.
One more good time,
before goodbyes.
We always have a chance in sight.

Would
you
come
to?

Just a few,
Just for you.

We don't aim
before we shoot.

18-
That was me.
I'd never heard of scrutiny,
but was sure that I knew everything.
I was the best I'd ever seen.

Then I turned 19,
I did my best to be unclean-
to make an end to all my means
by exploring everything obscene.
I made a point to ruin things.

When I was only barely 20,
I'd thought everything was funny,
but knew I had to grow up.
I knew all was cloudy and not sunny,
I was destined to **** up.

When I had just turned 21,
I had made a moon out of a sun.
I had poured the marrow from a bone.
I guess I reaped what I had sewn.

When I was still green at 22,
I didn't know just what to do.
I thought I knew how to push through,
but alcohol made me a fool.

By the time I hit 23,
It made me sick to look at me.
Mirrors saw me as practically,
as my best friends would ever see.

It went so fast- I was 24,
I knew I'd **** myself for sure.
I found my self in a whole new place-
it was Hell and much, much more.

By the time that I saw 25,
I wasn't sure I was alive.
I'd lived on so I could strive,
but I could not- at least I tried.

Now, I am almost 26.
Now, I'm hardly here
and I'm hardly ****.
It is all my fault,
that I'm amiss.

Jesus Christ is just a fix.

Heed my advice:
you've got to let it go right.
Let's make friends with misery
and end it all tonight.

You've got to taste with your toes
before you dive in.
The places you've always known
are where I have been.

Since I've carved a pathway
for new souls to follow,
you could do the same
for a better tomorrow.

So, heed my advice:
if you let this go tonight,
you've got to let it go easy
and let it go right.

Let's say a godsend is just a dishonorable mention
and that we improve ourselves with our own inventions.
Then, would we have the right intention
to merely carry on without discretion?

Let's say that you and I are real
and these miracles that plain to see.
Let's take two steps back and fit the bill,
while the ticket still has vacancy.


I propose that we just live
and swear to you I'll die by this.
Connect our senses with a kiss.
Let's breed romance with hopelessness.

I live and die by what I know
and always question what I'm told.
I'd like to see what you can show.
Your privacy is getting old.

I'm used to disappointment,
but I don't readily avoid it.
It's a fixed and constant chain,
like always constant is change.

I'm used to disappointment-
I've been known to travel with it
and it's an ever-constant pain
like always constant is change.

My words, they float up-
like smoke in the air
stretching so thin,
you wouldn't guess that they were there.
They rise to the clouds.
They fade in the sun
and out of my mouth
they were softly sung:

"Please, could you please, bring comfort back to me?
The Giving Tree refuses to give.  
I promise I won't take any more than I need,
if you'll please just free my comfort and spill it over me."

My long string of letters still holds no response.
i fear they've been lost over time.
But, i croon for love and I scream out of hate.
So, after all that, I feel fine.

"Oh, nothing can hurt me, not even your lies.
No, you can't **** my spirit, because this one is mine.
My words may turn brittle, but they'll tickle your spine.
Oh, nothing can hurt me.  I've buried this time alive."

The leaves, they own the streets tonight
and trees are waving their goodbyes
while cars are creeping slower than I've seen.
And the only light I see tonight
is the light shone from this city sight
and maybe just a streetlight few and far between.
I heard the skattered pitter-patter
and I deciphered Nature's hidden pattern
and I'll tell you the crude tale
the Master Tree has just told me.
"What you've just heard is no mistake,
we play these songs all night and day.
But, those who have heard more,
they run, they run and they scream."
I gathered up my thoughts of this
and stood proud like a lioness.
I open my head for more before my plea,
"Won't you tell me anymore?
my life has lately been a bore."
This is what he had to say to me.
"In this darkness that you walk,
these Trees and I, we seldom talk.
but, tonight we have a song I'd like to sing,
(he croons)
"We'd like to de-root this earth's humanity
and bruise you and curse you for ruining
this beautiful thing
that we have all come to call home,
but soon we'll be extinct,
so I ask if you'll lose this battle with me.
It's one we can not win alone."
"I don't understand," I say,
"because I can't do anything.
I'm a man,
I'm a lost one,
you see?"
Well, quickly he looked down on me,
drowning in my blasphemy,
and the tree grew 1,000 feet tall.
"You are now my enemy
and I would **** you instantly,
but I'm just a tree,
I'm a tree and that's all."
Before I could give a response,
I ran as fast as I could
and, eventually, I made it home.
I thought, "These tales are tales for garden gnomes
and fake elven heroes."
and with that I finished my wine
and went to sleep.
For, I am just a man.
Just a lost one, you see?
There's no hope from a man that's like me.

I've been lost
and can't be found.
There's no shame
in letting me down.
I'm not here,
but I'm around.
I hold no shame
in letting you down.

I've been skipping around from place to place
with memories of tripping throughout the race
of life and I've been feeling down.
I've been feeling a need to escape this town.

I've got a sugar sweet taste for nickels and dimes,
but I always **** it away from time to time.
No, I don't mind the worst of me.
But, I've got a feeling it's killing me.

I've been lost
and can't be found.
There's no shame
in letting me down.
I'm not here,
but i'm around.
I hold no shame
in letting you down.

Lost and found.
Found and lost.
I'll bring you down
if that's a must.
Found and lost.
Lost and found.
Just bring me down-
It'll bring me around.

I love my pollinated face of aces,
crooked teeth and crooked places.

I love hacked up black lungs, ladders with trick rungs,
pictures that aren't done and the smell of smoking guns.

I love to get sick for no good reason
with sweet chapped lips at the end of the season.

I love governing my heart like this
and speeding up my thought process.

I love piles of smiles and under-minded denials.
I love everything about life.

If I'm dying, I'll die slow.
Let the credits, let them roll.
If I'm dying, it won't show.

We could last an eternity.
Just for one god ****** time,
destroy uncertainty.

If we're dying, we'll die slow.
Let the credits, let them roll.
If we're dying, you won't know.

Let ‘em roll.
Let ‘em go.

One time I fell fast asleep
on a warm summer night.
I woke up on a salty sea bed
with a soaking water pillow,
fish swimming around my head.

I took my time to surface
with gentle strokes of grace
and I could see the sun shining
before the sun could see my face.
Toward it, I swam for ages
searching for land a far.
Then a coast cut on the horizon
like a wrist cut open and scarred.

The beach was pristine;
the sand was white.
I stood on the edge of a city
that was blooming with life.
I walked with the wind
to see where we would go
and it took me up a mountain
that was lightly painted with snow.

Since I had never looked back,
turning around was quite a surprise.
I found a city/starlight parallel
that shimmered in my eyes.

The stars were on the surface that night
As the man-made lights were up above me.
I laid and stayed and stared for years.
Never again would the sun ever phase me.

Feed my lies to me.
We can make ourselves believe.
Anything is possible,
especially changing things.

We could finally clear our sight.
We could sleep all through the night.
We could finally take flight.
We could finally get this right.

But, I'd rather make believe
that now is all I need.
I'd rather make believe
that I shouldn't change a thing.

I'd rather make believe that I'm for real.

Every single time
that I've tried to thank you,
you never accept
and I never make you.

I wish real bad
that I could hate you.
But, you're too good,
I congratulate you.

We won't get it right.
No, we won't get it right.

We won't get it right.
No, we won't get it right.

I'll set the pace,
control the course,
I will make waves
with no remorse.

You will be scared
and that's the worst.
I will make waves
with no remorse.

Its time to make or break,
time to make it work.
I will make waves
without support.

It is time for open minds
and open hearts.
I will make waves
without support.

I set the pace,
control the course,
I'm making waves
with no remorse.

Rope on a barrel.
A phone call in peril.
Oh, powered harpoon,
we'll be together soon!
The sinners are desperate.
We can't leave it to a vote.
We have to be against it.
Gonna need a bigger boat.

Our search for perpetual motion
starts and ends at the shores of the oceans.
We can't turn our back on the simplest notions.
Still, we close out the world when it's doors are so open.

We live with a Mother that plays the protector,
but we may be better off if she'd play the director.
It seems in the end we will see what we've left her:
analog parts in a digital sector.

You come around like loops in songs.
I'm always here, but I always seem gone.

You've been eating lies like Christians eat god.
I've been denying that I could ever be wrong.

You make me feel as small as a pin.
I make you feel unimaginably big.

You are a standard held entirely too high.
I'm just another sad sack,  I'm just another guy.

I can't speak.
I can't hear.
I can't see.
My mouth.
And ears.
And eyes.
And I-

And I forgot about you;
About who you are to me.
About how you help me love.
About who we can even be!

And I, my eye, my eyes!
I'm here, I hear, I'm here.
I speak, I sing, I speak!
Who can we both be?
Who are we complete?!
Tell me who we both can be,
if we can be quite anything!

And I!
My eye!
My eyes!
My eyes!!!
My ears!
My mouth!
My eyes!
And I-

And I can't speak of this!
Won't hear of it.
Won't ever see it through.
Can't speak!
Can't hear!
Can't see through you!

And I am I!
Said I am I!
Said I am I!
Are you?!

Run to the one that has no choice but to try.
He's done you so wrong, but you give him the time.
He's got the remedy, the things that you need.
Fill those lungs up with smoke and ruin your teeth.
Take what is easy,
but don't take it from me.
I may make this seem hard,
but I could be everything.

relation devolved:
a walk to a crawl?
relation evolved:
adapted free-fall
to death
or to life,
in the wake
is a funnel
in disrepair:
a lost time
after ma’am’s,
after misters;
no need
for callous,
just blisters.
raw puppy eyes
converge
in the sky
as our lids
slowly close
over waste.

I thought I had myself in chains,
but something new led me astray.
I'm blowing all the rules of play,
but I still live the day-to-day.

Don't sit back,
you will need the edge of your seat.
I don't ever forget.
I want your death on my sleeves.

Welcome to my Monster locker.
The hinges are bending, you *******.
I've started a series of major consumption.
I'll **** your face with mind corruption.

I hope you like the taste of soil.
I'll dig real deep; a six foot toil.
The throne you house is less than royal.
I'm sure you're used to blood that boils.

separation
does not ****
the soul
the soul
cannot die

separation
muscle from bone
our spirits stretched
beyond the unknown

you carry me
i carry you
however far
however far
we’re strung

separation
muscle from bone
our spirits stretched
until we’re both home

I am no better than anyone else.
I'm but a page upon a shelf.
I am a product of amateur stealth.
I'm not any better than I, myself.

I am no god, nor am I a fool.
I'm not just a piece and I'm more than a tool.
I am not a beast, but I'm barely a man.
I don't even aim to be the best that I can.

I am no more than I can see.
I'm but a figment of my own dreams.
I am a minnow among a reef.
I'm the by-product of other's beliefs.

It was just one of those nights
One of those nights where you get to bed at a decent hour
And you’re just laying in bed closing your eyes to sleep
And you think of something small
Just something like a song you heard
Or maybe a band
And you wonder if someone you know might like it
You wonder if your brother might like it
So you think about it and realize you don’t even know
You don’t know what they listen to anymore or if it has changed
You really haven’t spent much time with them recently
You really haven’t spent much time with them in the last ten years
You start to wonder why
It feels trivial but you keep asking
Where did the relationship go
Where did it go wrong
How much was ever really there
You remember the last time you were together you had a bad moment
It wasn’t really the last time you were together
The last time was good
But the incident feels like the last time
It feels like maybe that’s where things changed
Even though it probably isn’t
Even though it was probably always the same
Or it has been for some time
You remember some of the things you said
Some things that were out of line
You’d done that with your other brother too but he usually got the better end of it
Still you were both drunk
Sometimes the truth comes out like that
Sometimes you’re just stretching
Sometimes you’ll never know
You remember you owe him money
He seems to have forgotten but that doesn’t make you feel better
Does he care about that
Could that be the hang up here
You remember other people you owe money to
Your grandma leant you some once and you only paid back a bit
You know she doesn’t hold it against you
But you know she has only forgotten if she wanted to
That doesn’t feel good either way
You remember the time your dad had to bail you out of jail
It was a mistake and just a misunderstanding
You didn’t know you had the warrant
You thought your fine was paid
The charge had been from years earlier
That didn’t take away the disappointment from his face
That didn’t take away the lecture you got on the way home
Who knows how much he paid for bail
He paid the balance of the fine as well
He was too upset to thank for it
I guess you never got around to it
Another time you were in a pinch and had to ask your mom for money
Your power had been shut off
You were unemployed with no prospects for a job
She flatly said no at first
Then not without a solid plan
But you didn’t have a plan
You didn’t have any plans and that’s why you called
You ended up heating up canned food with candles for a couple days
You fed your dog at least half of whatever you had
None of it felt good but you couldn’t blame your mom
Was she right to say no
Was she wrong not to help
All you know is you never asked again
You trust she had her reasons one way or another
There’s nothing much to say about it now anyway
Or at least you wouldn’t if there was
You know your parents love you the ways they know how to
You know your brothers do too
It’s 2 AM now and you have thought of everything
It’s 2 AM now and nothing is meaningless