The racket
starts it all;
lights the chain;
sounds the call.
Ever-present
is the echo;
it screams
to let go.
Let go.
Let go.

My feelings I seek,
but my words I just eat
when I type and delete
and surmise and repeat.

asdfghjkl;

asdfghjkl;

asdfghjkl;

I was born out of love not to love.
I was born not to love out of love.
A recess is not fun like before.
No, we don't go out anymore.

I swear we made the disease before we made it's cure.
We're going all the way and making sure it's sure.
I'm not afraid of the after or the sooner at all.
I have made an occupation out of taking the fall
and my main set of focus isn't quite so simple after all.
You're just too far away from accepting this as your fault.

It's under no discretion; not classified or foiled.
I can freeze you out when your blood starts to boil.
I'm a savior in my own right and it's alright.
Say it's alright, because it's all right this way.

I swear we made the disease, before we made it's cure.
My mind is not held partial to your health anymore.
I'm a savior in my own right and it's alright.
Say it's alright, because it's all right this way.

I couldn't keep up.
I could not keep in touch.
I couldn't ever tell you
that we needed to grow up.
I had to sever ties.
I need you kept out of my life.
I had to get by my denial
just to get by your lies.

You are a poison.
You're a stain.
You're a fight.
You are helpless.
You are wrong.
You were right.

I had to speak up.
You had to interrupt.
You need to find a way to trust
the rotten feeling in your gut.
I could not see you through,
but I could see right through you.
While it is spouting an excuse,
your mouth will never tell the truth.

You were reason.
You were effort.
You were light.
That was then,
then was day,
this is night.

Dreamt a dream for two, you did.
There’s a stake, if you can grab it.
Two travelers together live,
ain’t nothin’ funny-like about it.
But, now you can’t do nothing,
Jus’ gotta go and let ‘im have it.
Go on an’ tell ‘im how it’s gonna be.
Go on an’ tell ‘im ‘bout the rabbits.

Well, I put on a sweater and it smelled of the Uintas.
I'd merely just begun a quest, an adventure toward endearment.
I was looking for a home, or some sort of holy entrance.
I'm just not looking to become a never ending guilt trip.

I'd take anything sufficient, undying or resilient,
or anything for real that doesn't give in to indifference.
I need a love that won't ever stray and a heart that can take a fall.
I'd settle for a lack of malleability, something that won't give in at all.

I've been putting on an image; it hasn't seen its end of days.
Still, this notion of abhorrence hinders plans and I subside.
I have overcome persistence to acknowledge my own ways.
I'll be tearing down this hindrance to breach my system's override.

I'd take anything of brilliance to tackle my affiliates-
I'd take time measured in billionths to find out all my ailments.
I need a body that will not leave and opinions without stall.
I want it all, I've seen it all- don't sell me short, I need it all.

I just want to feel alive!
-
I've been thinking about absurd things;
drumming up terrible ideas from an
endless well of no return!
-
What return could I muster?
Can I play the wolf without
preying upon the weak?
-
I'm searching for a middle ground;
yet, still, to codes, I am somewhat bound-
codes that may not live inside of me.
-
Oh, I've seen terrible things!
I have actualized- Nay! Come alive!
I've been here the entire time.
Where's the compass in me?!
Am I drawn to believe?!
Oh, tell me! Am I so unsure!?
-
We're all complacent in our own ways.
We're all bearable in at least one case!
-
We're the honesty
that we would love
to lead.

You're the cup of water at the side of my bed;
to drink and finish you was never my intent.
You're just there for comfort before I doze away again
and in the morning you're only useful down the drain.

Don't ever think that i'm a coward
living in my own disbelief.

Well, I've mistaken bravery for power
and its a cornerstone for me.

I've got a million things to ponder
And a million that I push aside.

I've made a mockery of you're finest hour.
I hope you think that this is fine.

I'm the blanket that you have always held so tight
without washing because it never seems so right.
So, in the morning I'll still be your best friend,
and I will always feel that way.

In the morning I'll still be your best friend
and I hope it always feels that way.

God, I'm wondering how to find myself.
Still, it seems I never will.
Yet, I keep looking on and on.
Come on, show me something real.

Oh, I can't help but to wonder who I am.
So do pray tell- I'm your lover, not a friend.
Oh, I can't help but to never understand.
So do pray tell- and I hope to hell you can.

I said I'd never let you be the one.
You said, "You're always wrong.
You know you're always wrong."

You said you'd never let me be the one.
I said, "You're always wrong.
I know you're always wrong."

**** it away,
because you don't care,
because there's no title,
because there's no promise here.
brush it off quickly,
because it's okay,
because we mean nothing,
because we don't stay.
get over it,
because that's what you need,
because that's what I do,
because you learn from me.

You are as confident as broken nails
and as filthy as a rodent smells.
You're like infidels in cheap hotels
where prostitutes have body sales.

This guilt was berthed when your stomach fell
forever deep into an endless well.
This is as tragic as a soiled veil
as you've become an empty shell.

Cigarette smoke climbs the walls,
but broken alarms sound muted calls.
Out here, there are countless brawls.
Your city sleeps; our city crawls.

I'm out to prove you're no better than me.
I should pull you off your high horse
by way of my own just course.
Because, it's all in how we look at things
and how we handle happenings.
You know, your head is in your ***
and your *** is in the clouds.
which means your nose is in the air
and you'd better bring that ****** down.
Your pride will leave your body
faster than you ever could believe.
This is stellar ******* parallax
and don't forget hypocrisy.

Bias over basis.
Look at we've done.
We've unraveled every inch of the thread that we have spun.

Errors over trials.
This is how we play.
So much for analysis and so much for how it weighs.

Ears were made to listen.
Look at what they do.
They've become a man-made highway for logic to pass through.

Eyes were made to see.
Look where we begin.
Judgment at the sign of growth: this is the world that we are in.

We could talk about this season,
about how it's cold,
about how it hurts more every year.

We could talk about my patterns,
about how they grow,
about their ****** and its punctuality.

We could talk about change,
about how it's inevitable,
about how it could save us, if only we'd let it.

We could talk,
but then again,
just pass the flask.
Let's drink, my friend.

anticipation
mundane brain
cell amputation
weekdays built
toward bored
flogging guilt
dead med kit
needing feeding
without exit

they who filed the bars and sent the world to the stars
in a slow, but heavy descent, god only knows what they meant
with an enveloping down and a comforting cry
is a rating for us to decide or just to imbibe
well, step aside, because i...
i can definitely imbibe

Pluck me from this well-rooted piece of life.
The consistency is right and I bloom all throughout the night.
Show me now where we all go
when we whimper and decompose.
Wipe your feet as steady as your fortune goes.
Where they have been, only you know.
In time you will understand the meaning of this.
I hope that by then you'll have given a ****.

I approached her
to tell her that I miss her.
With my head down,
I pulled her in to kiss her.
But, then I walked away
with the heart of a coward,
so heavy with guilt
for a couple of hours.
And now, I feel fine.
Now, I feel fine.

A man in a tree
just showed me his dream
of a growth ripping out of his head.
But, his mind is a maze,
forever entrancing,
my eyes 'til the end of my days.

I love a devil's birthday from the sky.
Instead of from the ground, it's coming down.
I saw clouds collide before my eyes
like salty sea foam when the tide is nigh.
It is short-lived glory that lives the most.
I'm making the best of the time I host.
I've been told to not hurry or rush myself,
but I'd rather live fast than die on a shelf.

Well, I'm sorry, but that isn't enough.
Well, you're sorry, but that isn't enough.

We nullify chances for happiness.
We're hopeless so, let's pack up and go.
I've seen myself sink deeper than the sea
starting at my toes, flooding past my teeth.
If there's no salvation for soulless men,
I better cover my tracks and where I've been.
This rope-a-dope hope game has no class.
I'm running out of time and I'm out of gas.

Well, I'm sorry, but that isn't enough.
Well, you're sorry, but that isn't enough.

I can see in your eyes
what your mouth really means.
I'm focused and sure
and I don't feel a thing.

As my patience was worn,
with my heart on my sleeve,
you got me right at my throat
on the edge of your seat.

I can't run at this pace.
I don't move steadily.
My erratic behavior
may be the end of me.

So, save it.
Save it.
Save it, please.

Save it.
Save it.
Save it for me.

There's a line that we cross
when our eyes can not see
the differences lost
between you and me.

Where the vision was shared
with willingness to please,
there opened a hole
and the void swallowed me.

I can't keep up this time.
I shouldn't give up on me.
But, you gave me the chance;
let's destroy everything.

So, save it.
Save it.
Save it, please.

Save it.
Save it.
Save it for me.

You say the word,
I'll lead the way.
The cost is high,
we'll surely pay.
You've started a fire
that we can't put out.
There's no forgiveness
within our drought.

You say the word,
I'll wreck the past.
We split the cost
to raise the mast.
It is your silence
that seems to coast.
It is our distance
that hurts the most.

You say the word,
I'll lead the way.
We both will slowly
d  r  i  f  t    a  w  a  y.
Yet, without you,
I'm merely dust.
In suit, I'll follow,
if I must.

You say the word,
I'll wreck the past.
There is no point
in going last.
I will speak first
if you don't ask.
It is our sorrows
in which we bask.

I am not alone,
though, seldom do I speak.
All implicit ties
must be auctioned off in sleep.
I could never follow, baby;
I could never lead.
If that's good enough for you,
well, that's good enough for me.
I could never stay or, maybe,
I could never leave.
Be that as it may,
I just want to be.
I just want to be.
I just want to be.

I've got a heavy head tonight.
This time it isn't pride inside.
It's filling up with anxious thoughts,
the root of which has long been lost.
I feel like I gave up my grip.
I'm struggling to steer this ship.

There's a hole where water is leaking in,
but I've been keeping it a secret.
I'll flood this slow with my own sin.
As Captain, I'll go down with it.

I can't say that I'll make it out;
truth be told I'm lost here.
But, if I can just keep trudging on;
I'm sure to make it somewhere.

I've been dead to me.
I've been dead to you.
I haven't seen clearly,
like you always do.
But, I'm seeing now.
I'm believing now.
At least I know where
I've been sleeping now.

I haven't breathed in air in so **** long.
I haven't seen the sun in so **** long.
I haven't walked on land in so **** long.
I've been sleeping with the fishes;
I've been singing this song.

God, I've made a mess of things;
conducted hate and suffering.
I don't take advice for anything.
I'm a humble pie that's blistering.

I've been dead to me.
I've been dead to you.
I haven't seen clearly
like you always do.
But, I'm seeing now.
I'm believing now.
At least I know where
I've been sleeping now.

I haven't breathed in air in so **** long.
I haven't seen the sun in so **** long.
I haven't walked on land in so **** long.
I've been sleeping with the fishes and singing this song.

My greatest wish
is my greatest fear.
Not a wish for value,
but a wish for fear.

My greatest fear
is my greatest wish.
Not a fear of value,
But a fearful wish.

Raise the blinders.
Plug your ears.
Pray our words
may disappear.

Plug your ears.
Raise the blinders.
Sweet solitude
welcomes reminders.

The smolderdash?  I must confess:
A smolder shouldn't act so fast.
But, killer Queens with judgement passed
can get you headless first and last.

Don't you see this catastrophe
has violently encircled me?
It's  in that turn and descending fall
that my words condescend us, one in all.

Pick me up's and put me down's.
We can't feel the world go 'round.
What a lovely cap and gown,
let's graduate out of this town.

If you think that I am over this,
you better start to pray you're missed.
Smolderdash those fire-pants,
your white-hot lies will never last.

This is solace,
so let's
let the glass
go down.

This is solace,
no less
than living
life unbound.

This is solace,
caress
your fingers
in my palm.

this is solace.
solace
represents
no harm.

I am going to live forever-
A time thief until I die.
That may seem contradictory,
but you'll understand in time.

I'm some kind of salesman,
but I'm never keeping stock.
I don't endure the door-to-door
or walk from block to block.

What I can do is take your soul
in exchange for what you want.
Desperation fills my thoughts,
so let's just see what you have got.

I swear that I'll grow
from the tricks that you show me
when I'm down on my luck
like nobody knows me.

I've lost space in the fold
from the promise you told me
wouldn't quite ever last
if you promised to know me.

I'm like change in your pocket
when you have nothing left.
I could be where your turn to
when you can't get the best.
I'm a mess and a half;
I'm the one to forget.
I can't keep myself warm
without a heart in my chest.

There I was,
standing; a mess.
It is you, my dear.
Omit the fear
and I will do the rest.

Fuming around,
We will be breaking ground.
We will be taking action
without making a sound.

There you were,
standing; a mess.
It is me that you see.
I can make you believe
that fear is a foe to contest.

Devastation abound!
We make heads spin around!
We are more than shock-value;
We're the best pound-for-pound.

There we were,
standing; a mess.
Yet we're the caliber of champions.
We're at home with the best.

Getting better
is so alien to me,
to be the three
that we
set out to be.
I pictured ruin
or a split,
but not writ,
though we
resolve to breathe!
Still, I’m the type
to measure in nights
not days!
Who stays?
Who goes?
Is it the same?
Still, you’re the type
to always be right
not wrong!
Won’t you stay?
No, don’t go.
I want to play.
So, please say-
Please say
you will stay.
I know you
will always stay,
my little rose.
My little fae.

if I could make ends meet,
I would tie them together-
I would keep them held close
and live off of them forever.

money isn't happiness,
but they have some things in common.
both money and happiness
are a necessity to keep from falling.

*******,
Struggle City

You'll find me at my worst when I haven't heard your voice
in what feels like weeks and weeks.
I try to keep quiet and try to keep this deep.
But, over time my misery becomes taxing on my sleep.

The faulty thoughts come first.
Am I blessed or am I cursed?
I'm still taking steps back
to remember how to act.
It's the only choice I have
to make everything exact.

Not a penny to my name;
no evidence to back my claim
that I've been doing what I can,
even though I hardly have.

I showed patience the door
when it was begging me to stay.
Instead of being stationary,
I chose to run away.

It's not all that difficult
to see what I've been doing wrong.
But, I've made friends in Struggle City
and they always cheer me on.

I had a Light.
My last light
was last time
we had a light;
our last light,
our last time.

The wind is at my back and I swear to god,
I swear to god you're next in line.
My hands beneath your chin as you suffer, pretty.
That's such a pretty neck you have.
I'm on my game,
I'm on your mind,
I'm on the spot,
I'm right on time.
When I'm done you'll know disgrace,
you'll know my name,
you'll know my face.

This fickle heart has done me wrong.
I miss you now that your are gone for good.
On my way down, I missed a rung.
I'm broken now and I've been stunned by you.

Tell me.
I don't know the difference
between love and heartbreak.

Sell me
out for being ignorant.
There isn't bliss when there's resistance.

Tell me,
'cause I don't know a thing.

Sell me.
I've been splitting at my seams.

We can talk about the damage done.
Let's stretch our legs so we can run around in circles.
I'll chew you up around my tongue
and spit you out when I am done, but I don't want to.

Tell me.
I don't know the difference
between love and heartbreak.

Sell me
out for being ignorant.
There isn't bliss when there's resistance.

Fail me.
I don't deserve a thing.

**** me,
and I won't even blink.

Tell me,
tell me anything.

Tell me not to die inside.
Tell me not to blink.
Tell me its not wrong to hide
the secrets that we keep.

Tell me that it's all alright.
Tell me we aren't weak.
Inspiration in disguise
is spilling out of me.

Tell me that the hurt inside
is cured by our beliefs.
A prayer can save a lonely night
when it's just too dark to see.

Tell me we were wrong to start;
not wrong to make believe.
The cover that hides in the dark
is only enough for me.

She's cold to the touch
and if you even as much
as glance at her face
she'll send ice through your veins.

With the wrath of a queen
and the angst of a teen,
she doesn't think when she acts;
her lust holds her back.

Well, he is hot to the touch
and if you even as much
as mention the wrong name
he'll set your body aflame.

With the fight of a king
and a temper obscene,
he never thinks when he acts;
this holds everyone back.

There's a fifteen-minute round-trip
that could save me from this night
and, oh, my stride is glorified
from things that you can't see.
It's a subtle form of gratitude
that I'm reaping without thanks.
But, I'm grateful.
I know I'm grateful.

There's a fifteen minute round-trip
that could save me from this night.
It's glorified by cans you can't crush
and bottles at my side.
It's a blatant form of envy
that you're reaching for at lengths.
But, I don't care.
I know I don't care.

I forge tentative tendencies
disregarding the embassies
that make sense of discrepancies.
This might be the end of me.

I've had struggles with infamy;
this shame is mine, partially.
I'd intended to skirt a plea,
but that was too challenging.

Don't make me scream,
American Dream.
Just send me on my way.

You turn water to steam,
American Dream,
with your never-ending flame.

we’re but a reservoir
against a faulty dam
a rain away
from a flooded plain.

what fruitless
destruction
lies just beneath
a surface we can’t keep.

Cursor flashes:
there,
and not there;
there,
and not there.
It reminded me of you.
Not because you have left us,
not because you will be back.  
But, because of that little glint
that goes as quick as it appears.
My routines have been reduced
to some sort of stutter with no end.
Plural forms when singles will do;
not two leashes, one instead;
one bowl of water, one of food.
They say all dogs go to heaven,
but we don’t get to go with them.

I've been searching for safety for so many years.
I'm running in circles; there's nothing new here.
I'm digging for promise, 'cause that's all I need.
Empty conviction means nothing to me.

Maybe I am wrong.
I hope I'm not.
I thought this was right.

Maybe its just not-
not what I thought.
I thought this was right.

I'm building a trapdoor for swifter escapes;
somewhere that I can keep secret and safe.
I said what I thought, but no one would listen.
Abandon disruption; abandon the mission.

Maybe I am wrong.
I hope I'm not.
I thought this was right.

Maybe its just not-
not what I thought.
I thought this was right.

It was an awful mistake;
all the ties that you've frayed,
they get weaker now every week.

And I want you to taste
all the words that you hate.
How do they feel on the tip of your tongue?

Let's correlate;
place ambition with faith.
Let's make everything go our way.

I'll get this down;
I'll make this triangle round.
We come full circle anyway.

She has a presence in this room
that hangs like death in the air;
with scripted apologies,
as if we are unaware.
she swears,
but no one really cares.
she swears.
but, why would anyone care?

Her words, they smell of ****,
like a crooked spasm of a fit
over nothing to be seen;
some imaginary being.
She swears,
but no one really cares.
She swears and she swears,
but she's just a culprit *****
of the ******.

Her words, they smell of ****.

the only way
to leave
without leaving,
to see
without seeing,
to be
without being.

If you knew I had you figured out,
you might cease to be.
I see through your encryptions now.
It came so easily.

You're as rare as a Garganey,
but speak in Parakeet.
You're flightless like the Dodo bird,
but, like a Nightingale, you sing.

I thought I saw your body washing
up and down the beach.
Instead I must have seen your ghost
doing a dance for me.

I can't say that I've seen your face.
It remains a mystery.
The next time that you show your face,
I hope that you show me.

stepping
inside
just
to see

well,
it never
hurt,
spittin’
the dirt

better
to die
than
to be