Well, I put on a sweater and it smelled of the Uintas.
I'd merely just begun a quest, an adventure toward endearment.
I was looking for a home, or some sort of holy entrance.
I'm just not looking to become a never ending guilt trip.

I'd take anything sufficient, undying or resilient,
or anything for real that doesn't give in to indifference.
I need a love that won't ever stray and a heart that can take a fall.
I'd settle for a lack of malleability, something that won't give in at all.

I've been putting on an image; it hasn't seen its end of days.
Still, this notion of abhorrence hinders plans and I subside.
I have overcome persistence to acknowledge my own ways.
I'll be tearing down this hindrance to breach my system's override.

I'd take anything of brilliance to tackle my affiliates-
I'd take time measured in billionths to find out all my ailments.
I need a body that will not leave and opinions without stall.
I want it all, I've seen it all- don't sell me short, I need it all.

These are the words that I can't say out loud;
a whole mess of sorrow I've been kicking around.

These are the feelings that I haven't found;
may they come with haste and hope abound.

These are the thoughts with which I am left;
I'm striving for first, but will take second-best.

These are the places I'm dreaming to see;
I hope absolution is waiting for me.

I wake up disappointed
when I make mistakes in dreams;
when I set fire to ambition
and dam up crucial streams.

I fall asleep excited
to repair my every fault;
to turn a whole new leaf
and be everything I'm not.

I disengage from beauty
every time I fall asleep.
I usually will surface,
but this time I'm in too deep.

Pull me up and save me.
Please don't let this be.
I'm living farther underwater
with every passing week.

I am no better than anyone else.
I'm but a page upon a shelf.
I am a product of amateur stealth.
I'm not any better than I, myself.

I am no god, nor am I a fool.
I'm not just a piece and I'm more than a tool.
I am not a beast, but I'm barely a man.
I don't even aim to be the best that I can.

I am no more than I can see.
I'm but a figment of my own dreams.
I am a minnow among a reef.
I'm the by-product of other's beliefs.

Feed my lies to me.
We can make ourselves believe.
Anything is possible,
especially changing things.

We could finally clear our sight.
We could sleep all through the night.
We could finally take flight.
We could finally get this right.

But, I'd rather make believe
that now is all I need.
I'd rather make believe
that I shouldn't change a thing.

I'd rather make believe that I'm for real.

Every single time
that I've tried to thank you,
you never accept
and I never make you.

I wish real bad
that I could hate you.
But, you're too good,
I congratulate you.

We won't get it right.
No, we won't get it right.

We won't get it right.
No, we won't get it right.

Pluck me from this well-rooted piece of life.
The consistency is right and I bloom all throughout the night.
Show me now where we all go
when we whimper and decompose.
Wipe your feet as steady as your fortune goes.
Where they have been, only you know.
In time you will understand the meaning of this.
I hope that by then you'll have given a ****.

I'm pulling skin through my hair
and chewing down my nails
in disgust.
"This is a collections agency in an attempt to..."
Recorded words are always chosen so perfectly;
"an attempt" is right-
and a ****-poor one at that.
"O' conglomerate!
I've got your answers right here."
I've been walking around headless
on the shiny dime of the state
and I wouldn't have it any other way.
"Everybody needs more money." I say,
"And I sure as **** need it more than you do."
Get going.
Get lost.
Get headless if you must.

Either the lights have been shut off
or the bulbs have all burnt out.
Is it really that dark out here
or are my eyes starting to fail?

I can't see far ahead.
I can't even see close.
I can't see the point.
I'm my virus' host.
I'll consume myself
and **** everything else.
I'm a total sack of lies.
I'm a virus hotel.

Please shake me free
from the grip of everything.
Or, please let me be
and let my hope rest in peace.

I'm not afraid of things I've done.
But, I'm afraid of what I might do.
I haven't found a thing I need.
I'm not sure I have the will to.

I can't see far ahead.
I can't even see close.
I can't see the point.
I'm my virus' host.
I'm a deathbed-ridden star.
I'm a kingdom that fell.
I'm a hole inside a hole.
I'm a virus hotel.

Please shake me free
from the grip of everything.
Or, please let me be
and let my hope rest in peace.

I've got mouths for eyes and they'll eat you alive.
There's a plan to catch up and we'll get there in time.
The word's greatest shame is not one to despise.
A boy named Struggle is a boy that survives.

I don't know if I'm imagining things,
but it feels like things are happening.
I'm smiling like I always do.
But, I'm happier these days, it's true.

I've got my reasons;
I'm not crediting the season.
But, the Sun can help, I know it's true.
It seems as though, it's bleeding through.

I've got my reasons
and don't blame them on the season.
I know it's true- It seems it's true.
The sun is slowly burning through.

There's a fifteen-minute round-trip
that could save me from this night
and, oh, my stride is glorified
from things that you can't see.
It's a subtle form of gratitude
that I'm reaping without thanks.
But, I'm grateful.
I know I'm grateful.

There's a fifteen minute round-trip
that could save me from this night.
It's glorified by cans you can't crush
and bottles at my side.
It's a blatant form of envy
that you're reaching for at lengths.
But, I don't care.
I know I don't care.

She's cold to the touch
and if you even as much
as glance at her face
she'll send ice through your veins.

With the wrath of a queen
and the angst of a teen,
she doesn't think when she acts;
her lust holds her back.

Well, he is hot to the touch
and if you even as much
as mention the wrong name
he'll set your body aflame.

With the fight of a king
and a temper obscene,
he never thinks when he acts;
this holds everyone back.

I'm out to prove you're no better than me.
I should pull you off your high horse
by way of my own just course.
Because, it's all in how we look at things
and how we handle happenings.
You know, your head is in your ***
and your *** is in the clouds.
which means your nose is in the air
and you'd better bring that ****** down.
Your pride will leave your body
faster than you ever could believe.
This is stellar ******* parallax
and don't forget hypocrisy.

I'm in the buff,
ankle-deep
in guts and stuff.
I'm feeling pretty
sick and gritty.
In fact I'm feeling
really ******.
My nose is clogged,
my chest in congested,
my body is on fire
and I'm wearing my bed-head.
My feet feel wet
and I'm feeling regret.
I'd prefer to lay down
on a silverware set.
That would be better
than feeling this weather
that hangs all around me
as if it were December.

I can see in your eyes
what your mouth really means.
I'm focused and sure
and I don't feel a thing.

As my patience was worn,
with my heart on my sleeve,
you got me right at my throat
on the edge of your seat.

I can't run at this pace.
I don't move steadily.
My erratic behavior
may be the end of me.

So, save it.
Save it.
Save it, please.

Save it.
Save it.
Save it for me.

There's a line that we cross
when our eyes can not see
the differences lost
between you and me.

Where the vision was shared
with willingness to please,
there opened a hole
and the void swallowed me.

I can't keep up this time.
I shouldn't give up on me.
But, you gave me the chance;
let's destroy everything.

So, save it.
Save it.
Save it, please.

Save it.
Save it.
Save it for me.

Better,
better,
better than ever.
Or at least things are better than I last remember
and last I checked, that's a fair enough reason
to dive right in and start believing.

Worse,
worse.
I swear it's a curse.
I know disappointment, but this is a first
and last I checked, that's a fair enough reason
to pick off this scab and promise it's healing.

To the people of the former plant Earth:
Who in the **** are we now?
The time police have been cracking down.
We've dug a hole and we can't get out.

To the people of the former planet Earth:
We've been wearing the stars as a crown,
but if we get a chance to really look around,
we have to disambiguate all that we have found.

To the people of the former planet Earth:
Whatever plans you have made, disregard them.
Any belongings you've saved, please discard them.
For the crimes you committed, there isn't cause for a pardon.

To the people of the former planet Earth:
What do we have to say for ourselves now?
The time police have been strutting around
and we're letting them win, because we don't know how.

We are the people of the former planet Earth.

Our search for perpetual motion
starts and ends at the shores of the oceans.
We can't turn our back on the simplest notions.
Still, we close out the world when it's doors are so open.

We live with a Mother that plays the protector,
but we may be better off if she'd play the director.
It seems in the end we will see what we've left her:
analog parts in a digital sector.

There's nothing as bright as sunlight.
but, nothing can replace your warmth.

You can say all night how, "it's alright."
But, neither of us have been here before.

There's no doubt in my mind
that I won't ever be fine.
I live with this burden
one day at a time.

Now, it's getting harder to see
the change I want to believe.
I live with this burden
'cause this burden lives with me.

Draw the shades and let me hide away.
I'd never write off my feelings anyway.

Cut out the light and let things feel right.
I'll never be able to see straight, at least not quite.

The wind is at my back and I swear to god,
I swear to god you're next in line.
My hands beneath your chin as you suffer, pretty.
That's such a pretty neck you have.
I'm on my game,
I'm on your mind,
I'm on the spot,
I'm right on time.
When I'm done you'll know disgrace,
you'll know my name,
you'll know my face.

I'm the helm of a gunship with a questionable crown;
only the uncivilized still live on the ground.
And now it is how I took control of the bow,
floating one thousand leagues up here in the clouds,
that is haunting the population that looms all around
while my only concern is the safety I've found.

I'm just a one chapter book-
I don't have much to say.
No, I don't have a lot of history,
But I always get things my way.

I met the great counselor once
in the middle of a field of hay.
But, I never did harvest much.
I earn my living a different way.

You'll find me at my worst when I haven't heard your voice
in what feels like weeks and weeks.
I try to keep quiet and try to keep this deep.
But, over time my misery becomes taxing on my sleep.

The faulty thoughts come first.
Am I blessed or am I cursed?
I'm still taking steps back
to remember how to act.
It's the only choice I have
to make everything exact.

Not a penny to my name;
no evidence to back my claim
that I've been doing what I can,
even though I hardly have.

I showed patience the door
when it was begging me to stay.
Instead of being stationary,
I chose to run away.

It's not all that difficult
to see what I've been doing wrong.
But, I've made friends in Struggle City
and they always cheer me on.

I've been searching for safety for so many years.
I'm running in circles; there's nothing new here.
I'm digging for promise, 'cause that's all I need.
Empty conviction means nothing to me.

Maybe I am wrong.
I hope I'm not.
I thought this was right.

Maybe its just not-
not what I thought.
I thought this was right.

I'm building a trapdoor for swifter escapes;
somewhere that I can keep secret and safe.
I said what I thought, but no one would listen.
Abandon disruption; abandon the mission.

Maybe I am wrong.
I hope I'm not.
I thought this was right.

Maybe its just not-
not what I thought.
I thought this was right.

I am ****** without a thought
of all the things that I forgot.
I'm busy standing in the rot
of everything thing that I am not.
I am **** straight out of luck,
Its a cliche to rhyme with '****'
but, I'm just not original.
I'm scripted by my ridicule
and I ****.

I'm no life preserver.
I'm no hand-me-down.
I'm the navigator
of a ship on its way down.

I'm a hated neighbor.
I'm not one to stare.
I'm no ******* savior.
I'm not able to care.

I rescue what I can,
but maybe this time I can't.
I will let you down again,
because I'm always good at that.

I forge tentative tendencies
disregarding the embassies
that make sense of discrepancies.
This might be the end of me.

I've had struggles with infamy;
this shame is mine, partially.
I'd intended to skirt a plea,
but that was too challenging.

Don't make me scream,
American Dream.
Just send me on my way.

You turn water to steam,
American Dream,
with your never-ending flame.

over this tree
and under these clouds
is the space between
that she calls home.

There I was,
standing; a mess.
It is you, my dear.
Omit the fear
and I will do the rest.

Fuming around,
We will be breaking ground.
We will be taking action
without making a sound.

There you were,
standing; a mess.
It is me that you see.
I can make you believe
that fear is a foe to contest.

Devastation abound!
We make heads spin around!
We are more than shock-value;
We're the best pound-for-pound.

There we were,
standing; a mess.
Yet we're the caliber of champions.
We're at home with the best.

Bias over basis.
Look at we've done.
We've unraveled every inch of the thread that we have spun.

Errors over trials.
This is how we play.
So much for analysis and so much for how it weighs.

Ears were made to listen.
Look at what they do.
They've become a man-made highway for logic to pass through.

Eyes were made to see.
Look where we begin.
Judgment at the sign of growth: this is the world that we are in.

The smolderdash?  I must confess:
A smolder shouldn't act so fast.
But, killer Queens with judgement passed
can get you headless first and last.

Don't you see this catastrophe
has violently encircled me?
It's  in that turn and descending fall
that my words condescend us, one in all.

Pick me up's and put me down's.
We can't feel the world go 'round.
What a lovely cap and gown,
let's graduate out of this town.

If you think that I am over this,
you better start to pray you're missed.
Smolderdash those fire-pants,
your white-hot lies will never last.

A stuttering halt is a fantasy here;
as believable as low-budget science fiction.
Let us freeze one and all with violent ambition.

A time of calm is nonexistent here;
our  disposal of time is a fruitless conviction.
Let us play the victim of a reckless tradition.

For me, paradise is just a pair of dice:
if we roll them and get lucky,
then society won't **** me.

The odds are painless.
You can trust me;
we won't ever be so lucky.

My words, they float up-
like smoke in the air
stretching so thin,
you wouldn't guess that they were there.
They rise to the clouds.
They fade in the sun
and out of my mouth
they were softly sung:

"Please, could you please, bring comfort back to me?
The Giving Tree refuses to give.  
I promise I won't take any more than I need,
if you'll please just free my comfort and spill it over me."

My long string of letters still holds no response.
i fear they've been lost over time.
But, i croon for love and I scream out of hate.
So, after all that, I feel fine.

"Oh, nothing can hurt me, not even your lies.
No, you can't **** my spirit, because this one is mine.
My words may turn brittle, but they'll tickle your spine.
Oh, nothing can hurt me.  I've buried this time alive."

One time I fell fast asleep
on a warm summer night.
I woke up on a salty sea bed
with a soaking water pillow,
fish swimming around my head.

I took my time to surface
with gentle strokes of grace
and I could see the sun shining
before the sun could see my face.
Toward it, I swam for ages
searching for land a far.
Then a coast cut on the horizon
like a wrist cut open and scarred.

The beach was pristine;
the sand was white.
I stood on the edge of a city
that was blooming with life.
I walked with the wind
to see where we would go
and it took me up a mountain
that was lightly painted with snow.

Since I had never looked back,
turning around was quite a surprise.
I found a city/starlight parallel
that shimmered in my eyes.

The stars were on the surface that night
As the man-made lights were up above me.
I laid and stayed and stared for years.
Never again would the sun ever phase me.

You're as subtle as separate rooms in sitcoms.
Your conversations scatter like inhuman ****-bombs.

You're on your way to truth
and there's just no stopping you.
Save us the romantic, apologetic 'maybe.'
Save us the wrecking ball that we've raised like a baby.
There's just no stopping you.
I'm put out by the news.
Let's let the bias be the judge between me and you.

I'm as genuine as greeting cards on birthdays.
The only way to settle is to see how I play.
You sang your song and screamed during your recital.
You've soaked up many spills of plausible denial.

I can't stand the sight of you.
You're frightened by the truth.
I'm stifled by the way that no one is as weak you.

if I could make ends meet,
I would tie them together-
I would keep them held close
and live off of them forever.

money isn't happiness,
but they have some things in common.
both money and happiness
are a necessity to keep from falling.

*******,
Struggle City

Why is it that we live two lives?
There's one for truth and one for lies.
I'm getting sick of alibis.
I'd rather we just compromise.
You can't see what I've been seeing.
Truth be told, it has not been easy.
I could tell you anything and you'd believe me,
but that's the same **** thing you've been achieving.

**** it away,
because you don't care,
because there's no title,
because there's no promise here.
brush it off quickly,
because it's okay,
because we mean nothing,
because we don't stay.
get over it,
because that's what you need,
because that's what I do,
because you learn from me.

I can't identify with things that don't get better
and I've been taking down walls for months now.
It's the way I was raised that I'm rediscovering
and I hope that much makes you proud.
Just know when, I, your son want to stand in one place,
I'll still be trying my best to stand out.

A man in a tree
just showed me his dream
of a growth ripping out of his head.
But, his mind is a maze,
forever entrancing,
my eyes 'til the end of my days.

I've left you alone for days and days.
Oh, my internal wordpress, you we're once my slave.
I hope you come back since I have set you free.
The one missing out has been me, poor me.

I can't say that I'll make it out;
truth be told I'm lost here.
But, if I can just keep trudging on;
I'm sure to make it somewhere.

I've been dead to me.
I've been dead to you.
I haven't seen clearly,
like you always do.
But, I'm seeing now.
I'm believing now.
At least I know where
I've been sleeping now.

I haven't breathed in air in so **** long.
I haven't seen the sun in so **** long.
I haven't walked on land in so **** long.
I've been sleeping with the fishes;
I've been singing this song.

God, I've made a mess of things;
conducted hate and suffering.
I don't take advice for anything.
I'm a humble pie that's blistering.

I've been dead to me.
I've been dead to you.
I haven't seen clearly
like you always do.
But, I'm seeing now.
I'm believing now.
At least I know where
I've been sleeping now.

I haven't breathed in air in so **** long.
I haven't seen the sun in so **** long.
I haven't walked on land in so **** long.
I've been sleeping with the fishes and singing this song.

You're the cup of water at the side of my bed;
to drink and finish you was never my intent.
You're just there for comfort before I doze away again
and in the morning you're only useful down the drain.

Don't ever think that i'm a coward
living in my own disbelief.

Well, I've mistaken bravery for power
and its a cornerstone for me.

I've got a million things to ponder
And a million that I push aside.

I've made a mockery of you're finest hour.
I hope you think that this is fine.

I'm the blanket that you have always held so tight
without washing because it never seems so right.
So, in the morning I'll still be your best friend,
and I will always feel that way.

In the morning I'll still be your best friend
and I hope it always feels that way.

Can I pick you up and carry you home
and let you know you're not alone?
I hope it's not too cold out,
but I can wrap you in these arms if that's the case.
I swear I won't stop, won't stop- We just won't stop.

Can I pick you up and carry you home?
It's a perfect night when the moon hangs low
and we're atop the top, so we just won't stop.

Can I pick you up and carry you home?
Tomorrow morning won't be a lonely one.
We've got sunshine and a window
and maybe that's all we need.

When I look into a mirror in my imaginary world,
I see my face in the form of plastic, melting as it's skewed.
The alphabet is distant and my jaw shudders at the thought of rooms
filled with gold and colors as the fungus in me is consumed.
With this puddle feeling and trees reflected in my wake,
I know I should be sleeping, but my mind is wide awake.
Anything that flashes pulls the wall's breath to sights I can't mistake.
I'm cold and covered in my skin as ideas spill out thin
and the letters slowly gather and my mouth is caving in.
Train-wrecked are my teeth with whatever this might be.
They're pressing inward on my mind as I lose my self in sound.
My teeth are slowly bending, wrecking everything around.

My lungs could inhale the sky;
clouds could fill these lungs of mine.
My voice could drown out the sound of rain
and its power could derail a speeding train.

When I walk, I make the world shake.
Heaven and Hell, they feel me the same.
I make the earth flat when it ought to be round
and my echo sounds how giants ought to sound.

I love my pollinated face of aces,
crooked teeth and crooked places.

I love hacked up black lungs, ladders with trick rungs,
pictures that aren't done and the smell of smoking guns.

I love to get sick for no good reason
with sweet chapped lips at the end of the season.

I love governing my heart like this
and speeding up my thought process.

I love piles of smiles and under-minded denials.
I love everything about life.

If you were here,
I'd make everything seem better.
I'd take down every single wall
until we had a lack of shelter.

We don't need a form of cover
when we only have each other
and if we don't want to be discovered,
we can go on a run forever.

If you were here,
I'd make the best out of this weather.
I'd spread the clouds across the sky
and help the sun see better.

We might need a little help here,
but we won't need much hereafter.
We won't need to fix disasters,
when we can just count backwards.

If you were here,
you wouldn't need any looking after.
I could set you in my eyes
and be set forever after.

It's a blessing that I'm poor,
because I'd probably be dead.
The liquids I've consumed, what I've put into my head.
I know it's a ******* weakness what I'd let myself do.
Yet, I'm still thinking clearly and I'm pretending that's the truth.
I've never been so happy, though life isn't quite ideal.
But, the things that I'm oppressing I've decided aren't real.
Still, I smile because I'm happy and I believe in what I feel.
Try to find yourself like I have and you'll be better off.
Show your teeth as I have and you'll be happy as a god.
Just keep your chin up like I do and you appreciate your life.
If you continue to be mindless, you'll never really be alive.

I don't know what could get to you.
Your skin is stone, I thought you knew.
I've been shooting in the dark at you,
to make visible your new found wounds.

So, I've gotta ask
and I need to know:
What makes you sad?
What makes you sad?
I've got to ask,
'cause I need to know.

Window sun with no breeze in tow.
Late night love and a warm ride home.
All of that with a helping hand
brings up one thing that I've got to ask.

I've got to ask
and I need to know
A little bit about what your heart calls home.

I've got to ask,
'cause I need to know
a little bit about a place you've always known.

I've got to ask,
'cause I need to know:
What makes you sad?
What makes you sad?

I've got to ask,
'cause I need to know.