It's difficult, purposturous even, for some to conceive
Of a life that is fought for

A sense of security earned
With every waking hour you've been cursed

They baffle at the mute colors with which you paint
And half heartedly smile,

As they pass, with their fluorescent teeth
Yours ***** and yellow

From the brown water that has become your gasoline
From the cigarettes that are now your oxygen tank

The good air is all bought up
The good food is all turned to ****

**** for you to envy
As you scrub

They will loan you a dream
Knowing it is an unclimbable mountain

Because they are waiting at the top
With the soul of a shoe

You eat stew out of habit
Always chasing the wild rabbit

I want to fall in love so hard I can't get up
I hope for romance so breathless, my heart becomes a base drum
Loudly intensifying, calling to me, confused
Laying there, contently aware, the past is pessimistic
Introduce silent futures to the boisterous blues

Do you long to see the sweater stitched
Are questions your only communication
I can't dance, but would love to sit and talk
About the hem of your pants, or how earnestly you walk
And read to you the stories being written each day

I would like some melancholy with my coffee
Toffee with my sweet teeth
Something cerebral below me
I could use a few more feet

Just wishing for a winter to hold my flowers
Showers with my warm sun
An article of apathy to cloth me
Lustful kissing amongst crowds of one

I've been praying for a ship to sail this arid land
Sand for my invisible beach
A blinding brightness to show me
I've been laying in the street

Still looking for space to hold my emptiness
Bliss with my cold gun
A coffin content to hold me
Arbitrary tears once life is done

Fusing the concepts of diction with the;
roll of a puuuup: ill container
no brainer; the new name
for all,, club bangers
the flocking flamers,
claiming they flow rain sick,
fake **** time to face it
like similes to basic
subject matter could use a face lift
I straight rip, jill jacking me off,
cant touch these bars, leading to E.R.
cough, cough; Hot sauce her eye, then fry
that back side, spliff lit
A big hit; leaves dome split
                                                           ­                thoughts. . .              drift
To higher places; perceive the cloudy spaces
between the jaded hate spit
peaceful protest; GRAVITY.. replace it
Aliteration altered asinine assumptions
Rhetoric to run with;               supplying the dumb-*****
my cognition is "meta" there "fore";
fairest way is hitt'n
Needing a "fix"; I pop "pre"-scription
Sacred living's indifferent; no know's of his vision
Firing blindly; we're inquisitive middlemen
signing contracts binding
booking assurance of purpose
vexing questions perplex the messes
milk spilt are peoples guesses
nose tilt; angling obtuse,
obese, feeding upon, the bottom line
Most zealous of swine;
hideous and hateful, unable, ungrateful
better off as bacon plateful
The line is fine; The shade is grey
I'll ironically state,
suggestions to negate
your fate upon another's baseless psalms
or petty predictions of living on your palms

Take a ****; On this life
Open the drawer; Grab a knife
Grip it firmly; Make a slice

Not to deep; Not to wide
Just enough; To make you cry
Choke them down; Before you drown

This ain't emo; These are thoughts
Topic too hot; For most to talk
But in his head; These things rock
His battered brain; Till he drops
Esteem reserves; So ******* low
That a smile; Would induce shock

On the path to enlightenment
You may find disappointment
If you are consciously seeking,
You will certainly not find
Enlightenment and yourself
Are one in the same

This same...

That is both...

Equates to...

                                                                                     Nothing

And..

                                                                                   Everything

The contradiction of the statement
Is just apart of it
It means..

Nothing

Yet it is..

**Everything

Im just a young man
Looking for the truth of reality
Tragically knowledge and its absence
Left a casualty of character
Intangible beliefs left in heaps
Banged and battered
Beneath the battery of ignorance
Discovered by man with,
Thoughts hovered in cerebral;
Elevation looking down
Upon ants filled with elation
Where are these questions floor?
Only truth is there is none
2+2=4 and then some

****** knuckles
     From drunken stumbles
                                    That took his pie
         He had named humble
Ready to rumble
                                                                              Were the words he mumbled
                    In a fit and fumble
                                       To find his                               *mind

                                                                                                                                                   More than buzzed
He had become bumbled
                                                                             Just one more shot
Until he
stum    bled
                                   Out the doorway c r u m b l e d

Few ones in his pocket crumpled
      Left from cans funneled
                             I   mpairing cortexes pre                     frontaled
                                                                                                                 Visiontunneled and memory black
He laid down in the street
                                                                            *For an eternity of nap

Considering belief, dispositions dutifully mixed
******* of skepticism, with ample deviation
Followed by a pony of existentialism riding in

Mad man's drink is bitter but,
At this point all he can accept
Chin deep in the highball glass

Sinking amongst the buoyant
Gulping down helplessness
Yearning for the forgotten island

Where belief was once believed

Unmotivated by mundane
I mirrored minds Meta-
Contrived cognition was the condition
To compose concretely the matterful agenda

Lines are only written
When stimulating inhibition
So I brewed up a prescription
To allow me a peace of mind

Branching out like a child
During the first day of school
I pondered intently a question
Already dismissed by fools

Last lucid breath lingers
Is it inception or indifference
Fitting finale or frightening fallacy
Eloquently exposed, exemption of esperance

I don't know what to say

  (No Response)

  (5 Minutes of Silence)

This feels so silly, but it helps I think
I see a marlboro **** on the ground
It reminds me of you
Well from the little we shared
I was eight; you understand

  (No Response)

I don't smoke although;
The sun is hard at work on my hair
We never really discussed
These questions that I
Try to bring back in time
But the past was my present
So I wore that cowboy hat
And sniffed for squirrels
With pockets full of bb's

(No Response)

Is death everything you longed for?

(No Response)

Hope it is though I know not
If you could would you share?

(No Response)

I can almost make out your face
In the green and yellow grass
With two pieces of bark
Trying to define up
Unfortunately the leaf envisioned  
As the mouth for me to speak
Got too caught up
In the winds silent song

(No Response)

Is it peaceful, sublime?
In that dirt decomposed
Or were the fantasies true
Did you float up as a soul?

(No Response)

Down here we breath
We think we think, then we go
Conjuring questions without answers
You don't answer much

(No Response)

Is the realization there are none?

(No Response)

First time our eyes met
You had to guide me through
Having left my compass at home
Just blissfully adrift
In your coffee brown sea

You softly called my name
Like mother to child
And slowly pulled me along
To the blackest of isle

It was there where I met you
With camp already made
The beauty of your soul
Consumed me.

I asked you where to dig
Telling me "dig and you will find"
I said "I could dig forever"
Replying "I've nothing but time"

I latched on like breath
Assuming you would share
Using x-ray vison
You saw through my smile

The un-adulterated content
Blind sided you
As it had done to myself
Time and again

Beautiful intentions of yours
Please understand that I noticed
Your heart weeping my tears

A shock to your system
I should have foreseen
Having read the literacy of lows

The parasitic nature
Consumer of my relations

Digging all the way down
The filthiest of lovely
Covered in homemade mud
You pulled out box of silver
I confessed that is my love

Isolated faces paradoxically surround
Bound by wants infinity
I strayed away from banks
Cause greed was just to trendy
The idea of friends and numbers
Threw me to the ground
Figured we'd crown 4 quarters instead of 100 pennies
Swede shoes, silk shirts, and bentleys
By some is defined as plenty
While little Lenny with stomach empty dreams of Denny's
Or some water or a Father would help immensely
Afgani blowing and Hennessy gulping MC's
Take their aperture and narrow it densely
Make millions off the Emmys some how erases Memories
Of pennies struggling in this world
Mother fiend'n they're just fending
Against the many
In class they're considered lowers
Below us they just a penny
I say our morals need reordered
cause no doubt that they're all Quarters
And deserve entry into this bank of respect
That has become run by hoarders
Loving to build borders 3 times the size
Of their self righteous shoulders
This is a disassembly of a culture surrounded by sentries.

What would be something
If there was never nothing
Reliant you might say
Are the two stages of life

We are certainly something
I think therefore I am
But My thoughts are ever fleeting
Is this all part of the plan

I love
I hate
I am grateful it seems
But at the end of our breath
What does it all really mean

I smile
Then Lie
Like there was never a grin
Now constantly asking
Are we just living to die

Philosophical studies
Trips through colored flowers
Eroded cheek bones from tears
Meanings of which lost

Year to year building
Yet in a constant fall
Drifting closer to nothingness
Every single something involved

Longing for the one
Who has shortened
Her song
Erasing my name
And filling with another

I knew this would come
Foreseeing the inevitable
But it all happened
So fast...

If A genie
Stumbled upon my desires
Surely it would replace
That dreaded F with L

Then again I could rest
My head next to yours
Because my thoughts are heavy
And your eyes so strong

Your were lovely tonight
Although it kills me to say
We just couldn't make it right
Then I let you walk away

Ambition and lust
Came knocking at my door
I turned them away
With no you, just chore

You were my love song
Every note pumping my heart
Remembering the singing  
In this quite winter

We fabricate contradictions
To argue with oppositions
And observe life's details
So I can claim a side

Then start a dialogue
With fists held tight
Just to rationalize myself
My reasoning reigns right

We go and we do
While assuming every step
Remains rooted in reality
Contradicting dreams we have slept

There was a time
Though I can hardly remember
When I was your August
And you my December

When I'd hold you with ying
As you'd kiss me with yang
Then we'd rest a top Alpha
While listening to omega

And sing to you sweetly
All the while sounding salty
At the time I shadowed sun
To the moon was your back

We laughed bitter tears
About crying joyous faith
So we lived ever loving
In an equilibrium state

But change is a constant
New variables introduced
I was never good at math
Somehow break was deduced

I am the bubble
Clinging ever tightly
To extremity ergonomic
Cavity containers

My place in life
I know not
And yet I remain
Because...

An outside force
Will one day,
Set me loose
Or **** me

Dependent On
The poem it
Decides to write

3:36 in the morning
Thoughts choose to stumble
Drunkenly down paths
That evoke emotion

Describing said cognitives
Tends to be difficult
Especially when
Four letters rule

XYZT
Is all that I'm contained
And can be said
In the bat of
A lash or words in
Emergency situations

Emotions and balance
Tend to be friends
But my lesser happens,
To be obese

So weight I carry
Dead or alive it may be
But at least I can;
Feel my stomach,
Twist with the tears.

Good, My response
To her passing back
The sand blown
With the eyes of
Aesthetic in mind

Why that word
I thought as it
Vaulted off my tongue
With concepts of
Prison in mind

Sharp it flew
With purpose,
Purpose and poise
Like this time
Was the Million

Her ears shrugged,
Shrugged at the;
Assault of lies
That rested in my
Relative well being

With Life tuned
And voice an eighth
Churched praising the
Inevitably frowned

I pondered intently
The origin of should
And why green dependent
My; Lies of Good.

I thought about her
Through my daily
I played with the buttons
and drank a fifth
While kicking the globe
Then inhaled stench

forgetting the positives
That positivity could produce
I wallowed in worry
Love and Lust same seduced

Crying out only loud enough
For myself to warn my sober
I choked on half-baked truths
Caught the logic at the party
Dressed in Tie and Loafers

Laughed plainly at the joke
Then bare ***** intently
Knowing it reigned beneath
The gaze that was my ego

Jabs were thrown
Hooks and Hay-makers too
Fighting myself on space;
Space, in my server

So with limited function
And only so much time
And opportunities waiting
You, are The concern of mine

The smooth surface of a snooze button
Probably pressed enough for two people
Lastingly longs for a lift of his head
Heavenly hopes in hand the button wafts herbaceous
Scents seducing his sack of sullen

The button beckons in unbearable vain
Wishing his waste of space could find work
Or motivation to move about the mattress
Cause cheerlessness corrupts even carefree things

Including myself inclined to intervene
So I will surround the room with sound
In a frustrating futile fling of furry
Until I encumber bereavement from bills I beckon upon.