Dark like black piano keys
Angelic like the white ones
Played like a symphony
Although ends in tragedy
The melody is bittersweet
But all of me creates art

it seemed so perfect
on the flawless surface
but not on
the inside
when I
see our face
I have to
fake a smile
trying not to
let my feelings
crash and collide

I thought we'd get married
and I'd have your kid
but some things
are not meant to be
you seem to love me
but our fights break me
they leave me in misery

when you sleep
I stay awake
my heart
it breaks
because
you were
my love

but feelings change
and lovers drift apart
seems so strange
and it's really hard
I thought our love
was rock solid
I guess it's not

Save your words and be gone.
Don't let me hold on.


U      
  G    
      H   

I'm too strong,
yet too weak,
that I need,
and I feed,
on,
your,
love.

You are my drug.

It's like I can live without it,
but my mind would fail me,
in a certain moment,
of time,
I would,
eventually,
lose my mind.

This poem makes no sense,
neither does my life,
or the recovery process,
which I'm trying to 'possess'.

I am such a

MESS.

What am I trying to express?
I have no idea.
I guess we all need a space,
to vent and take that weight off our chest,
so it doesn't end up breaking our necks,
from the pressure in our hearts, bones & veins.

Again, this makes no sense,
so excuse the mess of this,
this poem I am trying to write,
using the thoughts of my messed up mind,
which is the reason, for this poem,
which is a mix of lovely & ugly.

  Messy poetry.
By me.

Sorry,
but,
maybe,
not sorry.

Excuse my lack of sense,
I just needed to get these thoughts,
out of my crazy mind.

I am such an emotional mess
Just so **** ******* sad
Feels like my heart is
Drowning in un-cried tears
I feel so bad, sickened by myself
I ****** up so much
I lost my best friend
She was my everything
Feels like I have nothing
I spend my nights crying
Feeling so bad these days
I miss that girl so much
I owe her my life
She was always there
But I was an idiot towards her
Sitting here guilt tripping
So many emotions
My heart and brain
Is almost exploding
Honestly wish I had a gun
I'd have so much fun
Pointing it to my head
Ending my horrendous pain
I lost the love of my life
Again and again and again
I had the best person alive
But I messed everything up
And now I just wanna die.

So many feelings right now
All I can do is write
My mouth can't speak
I feel like I'm falling somehow

Trying to remain strong
But it hurts to keep on
Showing that smile
Which fools people's eyes

Faking smiles
To keep us whole

I can be your punching bag
Or a shoulder to cry on
All those tears you cried
I can be your perfect girl
Or the mess you seem to be
If we take a step forward
We can rule this world
Whatever it takes
You know I'll be
Adjusting me
To be the puzzle piece
That you so desperately need
I would be anything for you
The best there is
Or the worst mess
Together we are a team
As long as you're with me
Then I'll be here for you
No matter what we
Seem to go through
I can't give up on you
You push me away
Constantly
We used to be
Bestest friends
But now it feels
Like it's all come to an end
You're mean on purpose
It's the main reason I relapsed
I fell apart last night
I talked to you
While I was crying
You kept bragging
About your best friends
And my heart was breaking
Then you told me
That I was ****
And it's hard to believe
That you once loved me
You saved my life
But ultimately broke me
This cuts into me like a knife
We used to speak for hours
But now we speak a few times
Every other week
And I cannot sleep
Because of you
I see you in my dreams
It's the opposite of everything
Can't pretend I'm coping
I miss you so bad
Why did you have to act out
I lost so much, I lost
My best friend
You let it all
Burst into flames
And now we are the dust
On the concrete pavement

Feels like I'm in the summer spirit
Drink in my hand
Baby, I'm feelin' it
Drinking champagne
On a Monday mornin'
Gentle summer breeze
And it's barely 10AM

Having fun with a friend or two
Chillin' as I forget about him
Wine, champagne
All the finest
And as the night comes
Dude, we'll be laughing
Drinking, smoking
As we enjoy this day
Finally feels like summer to me

I just love holding you near
that's when all my flaws
seem like they disappear
it must be your influence

Got a tragic desire
You take me higher
And when we're apart
I feel so much smaller
Your kisses are like oxygen
I need you to keep surviving
Your love might be limited
But I appreciate that
Your skin is delicate
Wanna bite right into it
Those eyes of yours make me crazy
Your sweet voice makes me high
Makes me feel kinda hazy
But I like when you're
In my dreams every night

Thinking of you makes me smile
Even though we're apart
By quite a few miles
But we're keeping our love alive
Telling each other what we need to hear
How I'm your girl and you're my guy
Wish I could whisper I love you's in your ear
Longing for his love, but it's worth the wait
Because I know, this love of ours will last
Yeah, we both got hurt in the past
So let's make it right, you and I

Let's see how this goes
Classes **** though
I'd rather take
Sleeping pills
Or get high
On whatever, sigh

Tired but wide awake
Been through a lot
Of silly *******
Still got a smile on my face
Despite my mind
Being out of place
My brain is numb
Too much information
Too little therapy and ******

This poem *****
But oh well
I'm soon
Going
To hell

You're so attractive
it is almost tragic
to be attracted
you're so flawed
but still a magnet
can't help but like it
the way our hearts
are beautifully connected
we fight constantly
but in love we remain
I love you endlessly
you're the one
who is worth the pain
I sink further
when you're near
when you are here
my doubts disappear
to me it is very clear
you're the love of my life
and I want to always
have you right there
close to my heart
close enough to touch
but not to the point
of obsessed attachment