I can be too selfish sometimes
I wanted to steal all the beautiful things
in the world and keep them for myself

*But the sun was too hot,
the sea drowned me,
the wind couldn't be contained,
And love was too big to fit in my pocket.

Funny how we woke up in the morning
and pretended that tomorrow never happened—
strutted naked in mirrors celebrating our youth,
laughing, knowing suns and moons couldn’t do the same.

We borrowed our arms from the fridge
and peddled bicycles with bad breath—
trading war stories ‘cause we knew
if we came back alive
life would still be the death of us.

My head on another desk
Grandpa’s words echo between my
Ears – somewhere – spanning tired
Fatigue
‘listen to your teachers’
Traffic, static mumbles somewhere
Beyond the glass walls of this
crucible
Quiet civilians desensitised
To the sound –
Reminds me – of the sound of the
Urban sea
Through a conch shell.
The carpeted walls muffle my mind –
Like earmuffs absorbing my
Words and thoughts
Jumping electron shells in an
Excited state of bored
Releasing the light of light –
Light-hearted scribblings.
I confer with an open page
He offers lines and I typeface
The space I need in solitary
Confines of the brain.
Soon I will be called – and
Questioned in expectation –
What crime have I committed?
But heavy exhalation
[I wonder how many modest
Strangers I could irritate with
Heavy breathing??  Maybe but I’ll
Try another day, alright? – awake]
Right now the sigh is in my mind
As I consciously start myself again.

Alone........


In a room full of people
what is wrong with me?
it is as if I can see
past the outter things in life
and look too closely to the inside
and see things I shouldn't see.....lonliness.


uncovering more than maybe I should,
But I see it....
feel it..
as it surrounds me.


the smiles....


are they real?
do they come from an honest sense of happiness?
or is it just something that they have learned to do? God, I just don't understand it.
am I the only one
who ever felt this before?


the wallpaper even makes me sad...


like flowers frozen in time,
stuck to a wall
meaningless..
vacant...
and so lonely.



how can I feel this sad?


no one seems to notice,
I can feel it's frosty fingers
around my heart
and I am powerless
to it's sorrowful presence.


a clock....


ticking loudly in the corner...
depressing me with each tick..
as if to let me know that time is slipping away


and theres not one **** thing I can do to stop it..
if the world should end
right here...
right now...
I would die in this miserable state.


the tears....


inside of me
that I allow no one to see,
to touch,
to comfort,
are slowly driving me insane.


I wear a mask ...


to protect myself from people,
well meaning people,
who try for unknown reasons
to help some poor soul,
like me.


I don't need their attention..


so I smile...
I am almost sure
I have perfected
the fine art
of fake smiling.



no one knows.....
no one sees.....
no one cares.
as I sit here all alone...


in a room full of people.

I wish I could tell you I loved you
without fear
without pain

I wish that I had the courage to hold you
and tell you everything
will be okay

There are times when it feels so close
I can hardly breathe
but the moments pass quickly
and I'm left here to bleed

I don't trust myself enough to admit how I feel
So lying is the only way I know
to keep everything real

You look at me
and I swear I can see the same feelings
staring back at me

It seems all an illusion
that can only lead to my destruction

I know now
as I have always known
that my love for you is doomed
And not because you love another
but simply because
it's you

Sleep well in your sins,
for I am still a moral man.
Non-religious to the pulp;
influenced by no such scam.

Clench your book; wear your halo-.
the fire shall burn out someday.
And I pray, you will realize
soon enough- we are all the same.

Thin white layers keep
my body tucked away.
Sheets rough across the edges
because my mind is disarrayed.

We cannot escape the
limitations this has caused,
we are brainwashed by hypocrisy
and hypnotized by God.

A bond held so true
like the binding of a book
clenched tight across the
neverending pages of
love lust lies and truth.
Although most  pages 
passionately clean,
there always has to be a slate or two...
with at least one coffee stain. 
The binding aged with creases 
broken beyond repair,
the bond remains strong,
the story is still there.
A bond held so true,
like a fiction held by glue-
forever us, our binding trust,
forever me and you.