I used to dream
Of how I would feel
If I ever met the person
That saw into me

Past the pain
My baggage and troubles
My anger and frustration
Of waiting for happiness
For so ****** long

Through all the *******
Every time I had to tell myself
Keep going
Don't give up
You deserve to be happy
I still believe

I keep dreaming
And sometimes dreams come true
I know this to be fact

My ability to love someone
Is not an ability I lack

Being an intense person
Passionate about everything I love
Almost until it's too much to bear
Makes falling in love like flying too close to the sun

Sometimes I think
It's best
To just keep my feet on the ground for a little while
Some of us just weren't meant to fly

But flying was never really the problem
The hardest part about flying
Is the ground

Learning to land after a pummel
To fly again
Another day

You were Fire and Ice
Naughty and nice
Loving you hurt
I couldn't be helped

I write poems all the time
Mostly in my head
There are a lot that never come out
Little ideas and words
Bounce around always
I even see things poetically
It's taught me to recognize beauty
That was hidden before
It has brought more passion to my life
And with it, more pain
But I thoroughly enjoy
The ideas and words
That bounce around in my head
And sharing it with you

When I met you,
I knew I was in trouble
You were a dream to me
Turned into reality

The things I had done in the past
To protect myself from being hurt
Shattered like glass
I had no powers against your affections
I fell in love with your soul

You were the first woman
To look at me, inside and out
And see me for who I am
You convinced me to give love
A chance again

I realize now is the wrong time
The right time may never be

My short time with you
Set the high water mark
That may never be broken
I can’t help but be thankful, however
Because of you
Things long dead inside have awoken

I have never experienced
A sweeter or more passionate love
I don’t have to wonder anymore
Because I know it’s possible and true

I may never find another
But I really enjoyed my time with you

You taught me how to love once more
I had long before shut that door
With that door opened
Other things broke free

I’ve been reminded of
What it’s like to have lost
To miss someone
The pain of having a hole in your heart
That can’t just be filled with anything or anyone

If even for a moment
I know what we had was true
The simple truth now
With all of my heart
I just miss you

I knew from the start
That nothing was going to be easy with you
I understood the risk I was taking by giving you my heart

I didn't expect much
But I did want you to be honest with me
And not play games with me
Be there for me
I wanted it to be a two-way street...at least
It was for a while and everything was great
So what we had I know was real

I realize inside that it's really neither one of our faults
Placing blame doesn't really matter anyways
I just know that I still love you and want you to be happy
You pushed me away for long enough that I have to try to move on
I've got my heart to look out for as well

That doesn't mean that my feelings have changed
Or that I don't love you anymore
I don't think that will ever be the case
Each day, you are the first
And are the last thought
That crosses my mind

I've shared your pain for a while now
I've let you take it out on me
And I've tried to be there for you
I have been there

You have to fix yourself or you will just break others

It's never easy but it could have been with you
I still love you and always will
If ever there is a day that exists
Where what I gave you is missed
Maybe we can try it out again
Your desire I cannot resist

If I could show you
Everything I've seen
War and from my eyes
Maybe someone would understand me

I push and I push
For understanding and patience
Yet I find the most resistance there
It is something we all need to make a part of our lives

Life is too short
To be upset
To hold grudges
To hate
To be mean

Based on that mentality
I have been walked on and over
But I won't change
It's not a fault
I am doing what needs to be done

I am a trained killer
But that doesn't mean I cannot have a little bit of patience
Sometimes
You find out what is real
When you take the time to listen

We're all just people
Our hearts aren't that different
And maybe they aren't at all

If I could show you
What it took to make me listen
And see
You most likely would

It's difficult enough just trying to trudge through this
As a "regular" man
I'm not anymore

I have a responsibility to share my experience

I am trying to show you

If I were a penguin
I'd search the lands
And find you the best pebble
I would make you mine

If I were a goose
I'd fly with you for life
We'd fly into the sunset
I would make you mine

If I were a banana
I would peel for you
But I wouldn't split
I would make you mine

I'm none of these things however
I'm just a human
I can still find you a pebble
But I can't fly and I'm not high in potassium

Can I still make you mine?

If you could go back in time
Would you go back
And right the wrongs you made?
To **** regret before it's seeds were planted

Would you hug a person
That you didn't get a chance to say goodbye to?
To feel their embrace one last time

Would you take back a lover
That was lost because the timing was wrong?
To show them who you had become since

Would you go back
So you could plant the right seeds
That would grow into something beautiful?
To have something to admire in your old age

Would you go back
To see yourself young again
Carefree and beautiful
Without pain and full of potential?
To be reminded of the reality that person isn't gone
But only buried within you

If you could go back
What would really be worth changing?

All I can promise is my best
I may stumble or slip
With the best
Comes the rest
Good for a laugh or a cry
Today or tomorrow
I will be here
I promise my best
At being me
If you want me for me
Then I am yours
If you should ever decide
That you don't want me
Or desire me anymore
Don't be mean
Don't be vindictive
Don't make it my fault
Just take my hand
And say goodbye
Parting ways
With no hurtful or hateful words
Able to remember the good times we had
Without the fighting and screaming
The sadness won't be hidden
I'll wonder what went wrong
And why the magic is gone
Especially if we are still getting along
Sometimes it's best to move on
Apart

You got me
After everything I'd been through
I wasn't a fan
I absolutely did not like that

I wasn't happy about being happy
If that makes any ****** sense
But I wasn't

You had a certain way about you
That I couldn't ignore
No matter how hard I tried

The way you smiled
Laughed
And how I would just see you being happy
Left me in a spot
That I couldn't escape
No matter how hard I wanted to or tried

I still don't like it
Because you have my heart
I am not okay with that
Even if I trust you
It doesn't make it okay

We're all weirdos
And subject to reality
No one can change
How you make me feel
When we are around each other

I worry though
That if it doesn't work out
I will never find someone else
That I share this same connection with

And I'm tired of saying this

I think it's hard for others to see
But it's not

Things remind me daily
Of the pain I've been through

I don't want to be here
But I do

Sometimes I just want to be far away
From the pain I still see

That pain that goes through me

I thought others can't see it
But they do

I have this friend
She's quite a bit younger
Much more inexperienced
Yet
She understands whenever
I talk about real things

Emotionally,
Her shape has sharp edges
Not knowing how to handle her
Will get you cut

She is a fine art
Not to be appreciated or understood

Only the professionals will know her worth

She is my friend
Who holds her weight in gold

I'll be the spark
To light your fire
I'll be the water
To quench your thirst
I'll be the blanket
To warm you up
I'll be the breeze
To cool you off
I'll be the light
To guide your path
I'll be the hand to hold
In this journey
Young to old.

Come Woman
If you'll let me
I'll show you the world
What it means to be happy
The things dreams are made of
Turning fantasy into reality
Fighting demons together
Burying the past
Creating something
Built to last
Setting the bar higher
And changing the standard
For others to emulate
Showing you what it means to be pampered
Come Woman
If you'll let me
I'll show you the world
What it means to be happy
Staying young forever
Something that cannot die
Your quench I quest to satisfy

I love the way you move
I love the way you walk
There is a certain grace about you
In the air that surrounds you
Even in how you talk

Your smile lights up a room
Your touch makes my heart
Burn with desire

Just being in your presence
Is time well spent
Feeling that my heart is safe
In your hands
Is priceless

You are the source
Of so much inspiration
It's difficult to explain
You make me want to better myself
Because you deserve the best man
That I can be

You "get" me
And I "get" you
I've never felt more
Understood or appreciated
For just being myself

You make me feel thankful
And I don't take that for granted

I love the way you move

I want to do things right
Leave the past behind
Quit judging people for other's misactions
Quit judging myself
Let myself be happy
Quit wasting time
Be a little more kind
Take charge of my life
Get back in control
Tie things back together that have unraveled
Instead of taking the easy road
Travel the path less traveled
Learn to appreciate what I've got
Take less for granted
And learning to love this life
I've been handed

Beware the beef capes
That ***** will fly away
Like the ***** villain
Just chillin'
That ***** I'm fillin'
But my soul she'll be killin'
One more
Or I'll be killin'
Can't escape it
Don't debate it
Just one more
Till she's mine

But no
These seeds I sow
As she chokes me out
I know better
But you know me the best
Tell me what I want to hear
To take the pain away
Tomorrow will come
Another day

Another way
Take my time
But don't take away
The passion I have today
The love and compassion
Runneth over from my heart
An end is a beginning
Not a finish
But a new start

Empty my heart
This impedance I give into

I'm tired of love poems
The insomnia that comes
When things don't work out
I believe that everything happens for a reason
But I'm tired of it

I'm tired of always being tested
Of being made to feel that I'm not good enough
I'm tired of caring
And I'm tired of feeling
I'm tired of being tired

I know that happiness is within reach
I've touched it, if not briefly
So I know what it's like
When it's gone

It's never as simple as cheering up
Or feeling better
It takes time
Sometimes a lot of time
Just to be reminded that things aren't so bad

I'm tired of wearing a smile
That is untrue

I never knew it could be like this
And you may think this is just another love poem
It's about the journey of two
Of fate, destiny, or chance
They found each other
All three most likely played a part
In the meeting of these two souls
Finding happiness once again and together
A second chance
A new start
I never knew it could be like this
Everything seems more vivid
The shining sun more beautiful
Not only are great things possible
But they happen
Sometimes when you least expect it
As I wandered aimlessly
Under the cover of clouds
You were the ray of light
That shown upon me
You gave me direction again
I had been searching for so long
Not even knowing what I was looking for
Now that we've found each other
My search is over
I never knew it could be like this

Not gone
Not forgotten
Different
In love with a memory
The shell of the person
You once were
To see a person die
Yet keep on living
Is to know true pain
A tease of the happiness once had
To watch you exist
Knowing who you used to be
And to see what you've become
Completely familiar
But utterly different
When you walked away
There was no point in chasing you
You were already gone
Memories fade
And so will you

Deep and dark
At the very bottom corners of my soul
You wait
Until the day I can let you out
Outside
But always within my heart
You are the part of me that I don't give away for free
Yet you sit
You wait
Until the day I can let you out
I don't keep you inside because you've done anything wrong
I keep you inside to protect you from harm
You are the little bit of innocence I have left
Without you
Once you're truly gone
I would be of a conscious death
Although you're hidden within me
I consider you
And still see colors more vividly
The passions I have
And the reason I still feel
Is all because of you
That is true
You wait
Until the day I can let you out
I also wait
That day will be great
There will be a time when it's okay for you to be free
Protected from everything
Including me
I've held onto you for so long
Because I refuse to lose you
I can't imagine an existence with you gone
In retrospect, I realize and respect
I didn't even know you were there
Until most of you had escaped
That wasn't your fault
Yet I wait
You wait
Until the day I can let you out
From the deep and dark corners of my soul
And my heart

The innocence in your eyes
Freedom in your laugh
Your smile makes me forget
The troubles
The pain
The sorrow
You feel like one of my oldest friends
Yet you're probably the youngest
I know we rock to the same beat
And when I'm with you
Our jam is always playing
Two old souls met again
On this plane of existence
Across time and space
Through the ages
Against colossal odds
Against societal norms
A connection that cannot be broken
Forever
Always
You, I love innocently

Wanting to call
Yet knowing there is nothing
You can say to make things right
No apology worth giving that will fix things

Accepting the truth that that part of your life is over
But being stuck to the memories and habits
Of living it

Knowing the obvious and logical
Trapped by feelings
Entangled in your own heartstrings

All is never lost

One day a phone call saying "hello"
Will be more than enough
To acknowledge a good memory
Instead of baggage

Sometimes,

The most simple things
Will confuse and lose the mind

Yet another reason
We all

Search for our place
In the madness

If you were a clock
I should like to wind you up
And listen to each beautiful tick
We would depend on each other
To reach our potential
You give me a reason
To get up in the morning
And without hesitation
I would keep you going

Unknown possibility and dread
Into the darkness
Before beginning and after end
There is no fine line
Between what is black and white
Only a huge grey area
Which we call life
Love could not exist without hate
Opposites teach us to appreciate
With each waking day and the paths we cross
Knowing not which
Will be gained or lost
The future is not ours
Because time cannot be owned
What is ours are our choices
Those of which that cannot be loaned
The choices we make
Determine and close our fate
If in the end there is but nothing
I hope my existence meant something
Into the darkness
We came from and will go
Into and forever
Unknown

When I met you
You were broken into a million pieces
Yet I still loved you
In your broken state

I never expected perfection or even wanted it
I accepted you for you
You were human
So very human

I held your heart
In your broken state
So very carefully

I held your hand
In your broken state
So very tenderly

I held you
In your broken state
As lovingly as I could
Because you needed to be loved

I gave you my heart
In your broken state
So you didn't have to feel so alone

In this world that breaks beautiful things
I still found you the most beautiful
In your broken state

I am not a stepping stone
I am not dirt to be walked on
I am not yours to be tossed away
I will not let you undervalue my worth
I will not be taken for granted
I will not be abused
I will not let you disrespect me
I will not build you up
Just to be left behind
The feelings will be mutual
They will be reciprocated
And if they aren't
Well then
You just don't have a chance
If you want my heart
You will have to steal it
Break down the walls that guard it
Catch me by surprise
Tread lightly
And I will welcome you with open arms

I sold my soul
For a parking space
Mama told me not to
But I let it slip away

She died
Of the broken heart I gave her
Because I stopped calling
I stopped loving her

My love was for money
The quest to acquire
More
I live in a sea of amenities
Endless luxury and toys
But I don't know what fun is anymore

I climbed the stairs of success
Stepping on backs as I went
Leaving friends behind
Never looking back
I traded my best friend in
For a Lamborghini

Trophy wife
But I sleep with my secretary
Because she doesn't ask questions
Trophy children
But I've missed most of their birthdays
All they care about is money too
The shadow I cast shrouds their innocence
And one day
They will be me

I sold my soul for a parking space

Here I am
I've felt more but not now
I'm just telling anyone right now
Something is broken

Or not.

I don't really feel anything anymore
It *****
I miss being able to write
My life is good though
And maybe that is the problem

I like my kitties though
I feel a fairness with them

Force it until you make it
And that is what I'm doing

=HELP

But I don't even know what that means
I'm having a problem
And I don't even know what it is
I JUST DON'T FEEL ANYMORE

It *****
I'm doing my best, I think
But it doesn't feel like enough

To all the women
Whose hearts I have broken
I apologize
And I hope you've moved on

It wasn't you
And it wasn't me
The fact is
We just weren't meant to be

I didn't use you
I didn't play you
I just knew
We were both better off
With someone else

I hope whatever experience you had with me
Is something you can walk away from
And be the woman that you're supposed to be

We were travelers on the same path
And were lucky enough
To share a moment together
Nothing about that
Should be frowned upon

This life is short
Moments add up and that matters

I hope you find what it is
That you are looking for
Because it is not me

I was the moon
And you were the stars
You were faraway
But I knew you were out there
I was surrounded by your presence
Yet never knew your touch
I was the moon
Traveling on my own
Wondering if we would ever meet

One day the light was different
When you came into my life
You became my sun
I was finally warmed by your touch
But it was ever fleeting

Always a chase
Rarely meeting
I was the moon
And you were the sun
Saying goodbye became a greeting

Every now and then our epic chase
Would turn into a meeting
An eclipse and melding of souls
Almost as soon as it began it would end
And we would begin our chase again

I was the moon
And you were the sun

I had been wandering for so long
Eventually it became apparent
I would never settle down and grow old
My heart was forever young
I was stuck in a perpetual state of adventure

I had become so used to moving
That sitting too long made me restless
I was on a constant quest
To see what was over the horizon

My thirst for knowledge and experience
Seemed unquenchable

In my times and travels
I have met many
I have seen much
I have broadened my perspective
I have learned to love
And to push hate away

I know that life is short
But it's never too short to explore
To learn more
Of the world and yourself

I've been lost
And gone a while
But I'm still here
And I'm not sure
Who to thank for it
But I'm thankful

It's weird being alive sometimes
Because nothing makes sense
I drink because I drink
And I love because I love
But I don't think because I think
Do I?

Everything has flip-worlded on me
And now I'm just wondering
What is everything
A value of time?
Or of some other *******

I haven't been able to write in a while
Yet I've never forgotten
But at the ends of my fingers
I try to explain
I missed that

I am lost but I'm here
I went there but want to be back
Life is a mess
But I kinda like that

We think we are alone
But there are so many that feel this way

I love her
It's just so hard to say
I love everyone a little bit
And I love her a lotta bit

I want her to know
But I don't want her to know

I want her to know
Everything
That I do love her
I do

I'm protecting her
More than myself
She's alright
She's more than alright

She's my real friend

I am confident
I am the MAN
But I feel shaken by reality
When I know my last breath
Is unpredictable

Just say it

Can't escape your problems
But you can escape people
Sometimes you just gotta get away
You were toxic
I was being poisoned
By someone that came with a smile
Your lack of compassion is something to frown upon
No amount of distance or miles
Can right what you wronged
I never claimed to be perfect
But no one
No one deserves that
Today I know
That karma is real
You are alone
And it isn't a choice

Because of the past
I had become afraid to love
After all of the hurt and pain
That had come before
The walls I had built around myself
Were tall and strong
My heart was guarded
Safe from infiltration of the love kind
And I walked along through life
Imperious to affection for the longest time
One day, however
You came along
And like a thief in the night
You slipped past my barricades
And stole my heart
I was helpless to stop you
Because I was the one who let you in
Now that you are the keeper of my heart
It is your job to protect it and guard it from harm
To show it the world and what it missed
While I hid it behind walls

These cats
With their paws
As upside down
Teddy bears

I resisted for so long
I did not value
Your ability

I admire your soul-searching
And determination

You are a creature
Of both great design and desire
You constantly quest and take
What is yours

There is much love
In your heart
Always living in the moment
To this, I relate

But you, kitty
Live as a fierce realist
As do I

I sat and wondered
About what was happening
All around me

The idea
That maybe it was all just a joke
I giggled to myself at the concept

Trying to grasp a trick
On such a cosmic scale

What I see is poured into me
It's just a drink
I'm an alcoholic before my age
But there must be something better
We all ***** and complain
About no one caring
But I care about all of you
Everyone deserves a chance
Even a second chance
You can't judge at first glance
This is America
Don't give up on the true thought
That people can be free
That's Liberty
I know how that sounds but
I'm not a liberal or conservative
But solely in the middle
I'm not fickle
I know what I know
And I'm trying to share
To make purpose of the terrible things I've done
So others know it's not just about living or just having fun
It's about being a man
But what do any of us know about being a man?
I tried to learn
Even from the few men in my life
But you know what?
Most men are misconstructed
The idea of what is right
And what is life
Have been explained by many
And up for any and many misinterpretations
The interpretation is always a day late
We fight because we are designed to
But the choice is ours not to
My only other brother besides my own brother
Is a black cat with no mother
I ask the same that I would
From any brother or son
My advice goes unheeded
And is never done
Maybe one day
Someone will listen
I've changed multiple lives
Already
But get out of your train of ****
And realize and listen a little
I just want what's best for you
Because I care
Everyone is so scared
This is not what I fought for freedom for
I want us to be free
And to be let be
To be ourselves
And for that to be okay
Every ******* day

You are like the wind
You are always there
And to deny you
Would prove as foolhardy
As denying the sun
It's shine

Sometimes
The sound of you
Or how you make me feel
Just feels right
And levels me
Against the troubles I hold close

Other times
You take the heat away
And make me feel cold

Sometimes,
You blow away
My sense of comfort
And leave me feeling vulnerable

You are like the wind
Never to be denied
When the wind is too harsh,
I choose to stay inside.

The troubles I seek to lose
Are hidden within you
I come to you for company
And yet I still feel alone
I recognize you and know you
But I don't know you
We pretend to be friends
Yet in the end
We are all here for the same reason
An escape
Attempt at something
Besides the jail we keep ourselves in
Which is without bars
In the moment
Much can happen
This is the time to be free
To break from your prison
If even for a moment
To let go
And let it be
The inside needs out sometimes
So the soul's eyes can see
Put one more on my tab
I get paid next Thursday.

I've stayed young of heart
And even now
I may be less serious
Than I was as a child

I'm not sure if I'm walking backwards
Or it's because I see things differently
But I would like to think
It's a good thing

As a child
I was aware I was a child
I wanted things to be better
And felt angry when the adults couldn't give it

Watching all that surrounds me
I grasp now that age doesn't define us
It only gives us our experiences
And teaches us to not let little things
Break our hearts

It also teaches us
That little things can mend our hearts

Sometimes there's nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide
How can you explain
That what you're trying to get away from is yourself?
When you can't catch a break
From disappointing yourself
Unmeetable expectations
Even though it's as simple as
Just letting things be
Deep inside
The feeling won't die
Never good enough or deserving
When happiness is so close
A hand smacked as you reach for it
No
It's not yours to have
Look but don't touch
I need saved
From myself

Like buried treasure  
You've lost the map for
You can't always find it
When you're looking
Sometimes it turns up
Where you least expect it