My body is shaking
Words are spinning
Its all in my head
That's what they say
I can be an actor
I can play the part
The part of a girl who doesn't battle Depression
Of the girl who doesn't hate herself and her body
I can play the part well.
I mean no one notices me when I smile all pretty
I can play the part
Of a girl who has no mental illness
Who is not scared that one day she will break
And no one can fix her
Yet everyone looks at me
Like I am a painting on display.
I am covered in figurative blood
My mind made it appear
Its all over the walls
I can play the part of a innocent little girl,
Well I already do.
But all you see is my anger
I cover up my broken prices.
I swept them under the rug...
Do you think they can still exist?
Well of course they do.
Why did I ask that stupid question..
I ask a lot of stupid questions.
But the dumbest question ever asked is
Are you okay?
I want to say I'm not
But instead say
Everything is fine and dandy
But I'm gripped by fear..
I am afraid of everything
I am mostly scared of breaking
I mean the cracks are getting bigger
You will be fine
The voice in my head says
It talks like I am a piece of meat waiting to be inspected.
I have mental illnesses that cause me to be wacky.
I have bad feelings.
They make me want to cause destruction.
I do, cause destruction
I make cuts on my arms
And cuts on my legs
And cuts on my stomach to.
But the cuts on my heart are the ones that people cant see
They are the ones that hurt the most.
In fact they make me who I am
Mental Illnesses are nothing to laugh about
You don't know what they went through
It makes me crazy thinking the possibilities of being sent to a mental hospital
But yet it makes me smile
I could be free
Free of the chains that hold me down
I am already crazy
The hospital can't change that
They can only lessen it.
So yes
A mental Illness
Isn't fun but they push through and fight against it.
They are the winners
The ones who beat a mental illness
They have won there battle in life.
I am just beginning mine.