Drag isn't weird if you know and understand what it is on all levels.
Is it dressing like a man or vice versa? Yes.
But that's only part of what drag is and what it means to people.
First, there are many forms of drag used by people around the world.
There are men who dress in drag as women.
There are women who dress as men.
Then there are Bio Queens or Faux Queens.
Which are drag queens who are performing as their biological gender.
Like when a women puts on drag make-up and looks like a girl.
That's because she is a girl.
She'd just doing a different form of drag because she likes doing drag.
By the way, drag queens are people who dress in drag.
This can be done for fun, as a career choice, and for both reasons.
Some people just dress in drag because they like to.
Others do it because they like making people laugh and have fun.
It's acting because you are becoming someone else when in drag.
It's a full body commitment that takes more than a minute to do.
Someone once said that they thought it was weird to see it on TV.
And I can say that weird was my first impression to when I saw it.
But then I started to get into someone (who will remain nameless unless you want me to reveal them. Which I will when you want me to.)
Who got me to see that drag really was a form of art and not silly.
Drag is a serious and comedic  part of the industry that's noticed.
Shows done at Cabaret's and at ( dare I say it) gay bars.
Yes, it's very common that people who like the same *** do drag.
But let me remind you that plenty of straight people do drag.
But there is a misconception that drag is putting on a wig.
And that is far from the truth because it takes a lot of work.
You're constantly experimenting with make-up and outfits.
You have a collection of wigs that you were daily.
And if you are a drag queen professionally, then you work.
And by that, I mean that you work long days in drag.
By the way, when you are in drag you are covering a lot.
You need to wear a bodysuit that fits the gender and uh.
You also need to do something so your, well, you know.
Friend can't be seen, if you aren't a girl that is.
And you need to pin back your hair so the wig stays.
Which people say is very tight so you need to get used to it.
But believe me when I say that drag isn't weird.
It's a form of expression that tends to help people.
Many performers use drag as a escape coat, you know?
A way to get away from pressure and open up more.
It helps them be who they wanna be and say whatever.
When you're in drag playing a character, it's fun.
Because you can say what you want without worrying.
Because it was said by your drag persona, not you.
So when you see drag on TV and don't get it.
Look it up online and do some research before you judge.
Don't say that it's weird and it's not normal.
Because that's an insult to all the people who do drag.
Drag is a community where there are many people.
Thousands of people believe in drag and do drag.
People are in drag right now going to another city.
Going somewhere because they have a performance.
Where they make you laugh and forget for 2 hours.
You can find humor if you don't let it bug you.
Not all of them are innocent in terms of manner.
Some have a very explicit way of thinking & speech.
But that's their style and how they like to be in drag.
Give it a chance before thinking that it's nuts.
Look into some people and see how they really are.
Look up interviews of people out of drag.
Because they tell you how the character was made.
And then you find out that they are normal people.
They just act for a living as sometimes the other gender.

I told my mom that I wanted to go to New York after I graduate.
But she said no because I have bad anxiety.
Now I know that she just means that she won't support the idea.
Or if I asked, she would say no.
And I understand that she's just worried about me.
But if I don't go due to anxiety.
Then all that does is say that anxiety controls my life.
That it controls how I act.
Basically,  that means that it defines me and who I am.
And even though I have it.
It DOES NOT define me and who I am as a person.
Anxiety is just a PART of me.
And saying that I can't go because I'm anxious isn't right.
That means that my anxiety wins.
That means that it limits what I can and can't do.
There are things about New York that I like and wanna see.
There are people that go there.
And I would like to see them when they go there at times.
Also, there are colleges there.
And I know that they have colleges for acting and/or singing.
And those are two things I love.
And I'm not gonna let my anxiety keep me from going there.
I know that my mom means well.
But once I turn eighteen and graduate high school.
Then it's my decision.
Then I'm the one who determines if I can go or not.
And unless I don't have money.
There won't be anything keeping me from going.
As long as I am calm.
As long as I take deep breaths and know that I'm safe.
Know that it's big.
But it's also a great place where I can learn and have fun.
Which makes me excited.
I know this means that I will need to get a job.
But I will get one.
And did I mention that there are colleges in New York?
I mean, of course there are.
Don't get me wrong, I mean, I've known that all along.
But just never really thought of it.
Not until now when I'm in my Junior year of High School.
One more year and that's it.
One more year and I am out in the real world 365 days.
Every single day of my life.
And I know that I will be a stranger there till I meet people.
But that's nothing new.
The only thing that'll be new is how I handle being alone.
I can hide in the corner.
Or I can face my fears and go there with my head high.
I can say hi to people.
I can smile and nod at others who acknowledge me.
How will I get there?
I'm not sure about how I'll get there at the moment.
Maybe I'll get accepted.
A college might like my application that I send to them.
Or I'll just visit.
Get a job so I can pay for travel and to see a show there.
Or my YouTube Channel.
Yes, I have a YouTube Channel that I use twice a week.
That might help me.
Maybe I can make a career out of my YouTube Channel.
Now, don't argue with me.
I know that it's rare when people make a career off of that.
But I still love it.
I love making videos of myself singing and/or talking.
Not because of my voice.
Because those who know me know I don't like my voice.
I don't know why.
I've just always thought that I wasn't a good singer.
But I think that out of those who know me and teachers.
And then some online.
The only one who truly doesn't like my voice is me.
I'm my own worse critic.
If I see something negative about me I delete it.
Not because it's rude.
Well, that's part of it, but mainly because of me.
My mind will absorb that.
And then I will eventually will start to believe it.
Which is a form of anxiety.
Feeling anxious about how others think of you.
But the truth is.
If people are saying negative things about you.
Either to you or near you.
Or if they are saying something negative online.
Then don't listen.
Because they don't know you or who you are.
They just see the outside.
They don't know how you think or feel.
How could they?
They've never met you or got to know you.
All they know is online.
What they see in a three to ten minute video.
So don't listen.
Don't let what they say that's bad hurt you.
But if you do listen.
Then let it fuel you to be better than before.
Show them who you are.
Don't pay attention when they call you names.
Because they're wrong.
It doesn't matter who you are, they're wrong.
Pay attention to some.
The people who are praising you online.
Who like your voice.
Who like your style and are interested in you.
They want more.
They wanna see you twice a week, they like you.
Your videos mean a lot.
They mean a lot to those people who subscribe.
And they subscribe to you.
Because they like your videos and wanna see more.
Post what you want.
Sing one day and then talk the other, it's your choice.
It's your channel.
And that's what I have to tell myself when I upload.
Whenever I read comments.
And I do read all the comments I get when I get'em.
I don't get a lot.
And I still have a lot to learn when I respond.
I gotta learn to stifle.
Just say thanks and then be done with the person.
I need to do that.
Sometimes I get happy though and forget to.
But I'll get better.
For now, I need to focus on what I wanna do.
Which is make videos.
Wait a minute, what am I talking about now?
Sorry, got off topic.
This is about anxiety, not my YouTube Channel.
Okay, back to anxiety.
As I was saying, I will do what I can to manage it.
I will go there.
I will go to New York one way or another.
Not because I have to.
But because I want to for more reasons than one.
Even if my anxiety is bad.
Which I can admit that it is at times every day.
But I'll get through it.
Anxiety is not going to control me and define me.
I'm going to New York.
The only one who can control that destiny is myself.
And I will get there.
I don't know how or when, but I will.
Let this be a message.
A message for anyone who has to deal with anxiety.
It's not your life.
Anxiety doesn't control you if you don't let it.
Anxiety is a part of you.
But that's all it is, it's just a part of you that sticks.
But it gets better.
And if it can get better for me, than it will for you.

I was in for a surprise of a lifetime Christmas 2014.
Well, actually, that's not entirely true.
It was actually supposed to be New Years Eve of 2014.
But my mom wasn't feeling well.
So I got the tickets on Christmas Morning for 1989.
And if you don't know what I mean.
Then read this and I will explain the whole thing.
I wanted to see Taylor Swift live.
I wanted to go to her 1989 World Tour this year.
Her 2015 1989 World Tour.
But I thought that my family wouldn't have enough.
You know, money for that.
So I convinced myself that I wasn't gonna get to go.
And for a while I  believed.
And then they told me on Christmas that I wouldn't.
They got me a camera instead.
Or, at least, that's what they said and I believed them.
I thought they couldn't trick me.
Well, as it turns out, they fooled me all this time.
Making me think I wasn't going.
When they had the tickets since November 11th!
I can't believe they got me.
I honestly believe that I wasn't gonna see her live.
But I was told to come out.
Because there was another present for me.
So I nodded and walked out.
I was in my room trying to work my new camera.
So I put it down and left.
I went to the living room and was told I had a CD.
And I needed to open a case.
I nodded and opened the case to find paper.
And it had 6 words.
You've bought 2 tickets. Thank you!
And I knew I was going.
I knew that they had gotten the tickets after all.
And then they told me.
They said I wasn't gonna get them till New Years.
They were gonna hide it!
Let me be depressed and sad for a whole week!
And then at midnight.
They were gonna give them to me as a surprise.
Because I wouldn't have....
I wouldn't have expected them after Christmas.
But I was still in shock.
I just said, "What?!" over and over again all day.
I still can't believe it!
Everyone knew she was going on tour before me!
Yia-Yia and PaPou K.
Which is Greek for Grandma and Grandpa.
Knew about the tour 1st.
You don't know how happy this makes me.
I have been a fan of hers.
A fan of Taylor Swift's since I was seven or eight.
When I heard her in 2007.
And then really got into her around 2009 or 2010.
I've been to 2 shows.
I've been to her Speak Now and Red World Tours.
Held at Gillette Stadium.
Which is in Foxborro, Massachusetts near Boston.
That's why my mom's going.
Not for the show, because she loves Boston lol
I don't mind, though.
I get to see Taylor Swift live for the 3rd time!
And that's amazing.
The rest of school vacation flew by after that.
I can't begin to tell you.
To tell you how happy and excited I am right now.
I mean, I can't wait!
I get to see her during her 1989 World Tour.
She's doing 2 shows there.
The 24th and 25th of July, in seven months.
I'm going to the 2nd one.
And I have a camera to film the whole show.
Just need more batteries.
Wanna make sure I don't miss a single thing.
Just wanted to say that.
Wanted to do a follow-up on my last thing.
Because I didn't know.
But now I could tell the rest of the story.
So now, to sum it up.
I'm gonna get to go see Taylor this year! :)

Me: I've loved Taylor Swift since I was a little girl.
Self: I know, but you need to stop this.
Me: But I might get to go.
Self: You've seen her twice already.
Me: I know, her 'Speak Now' and 'Red' tour shows.
Self: Yes. So you need to stop getting worked up.
Me: I know you're right, self. But I just can't.
Self: I know, you wanna see her live again.
Me: And what's so bad about wanting that?'
Self: Nothing. But you know you might not.
Me: I know, you can stop telling me that.
Self: Not until you accept it. Just accept it.
Me: What, self? What do I need to accept?
Self: That there was only one reason why
you were able to go to the last two shows.
Me: I know. And I know she's not here anymore.
Self: Right. So they might not have enough.
You wanted a camera as well as maybe tickets.
Me: I know, I know. That was asking a lot.
Self: No, it wasn't. You didn't put a star on it.
On the tickets to the concert.
Me: I know I didn't put a star on the tickets.
Self: And why did you not put a star on the tickets?
Me: Because if I did, then that would create pressure.
And I know that they would feel bad if they couldn't.
So I didn't put a star so they wouldn't feel like they
had to.
Self: Wow! You sure had a lot to say that time.
Me: I'm sorry, I was just trying to explain.
Self: No need, I know what you were doing.
But I think there's something you need to know.
Me: What?
Self: They might get you the tickets after all.
Me: Self...
Self: No! You heard what your Uncle said.
Me: Yes. And I also know that he likes to mess
with me. And he might've just been doing that.
Self: Are you sure about that? Are you really sure?
Me: Of course I am! I mean, I have to be.
Self: Why? Why do you have to be sure?
Me: Because that way I won't be depressed if I
don't get the tickets and end up not going.
I need to keep telling myself that we don't have
the money. Don't you understand?
Self: I understand that you've been talking to me
for the last five minutes about this.
Me: (Sighs) I know, I know. I guess I can still hope.
But I won't hope too much.
Self: Alright, don't stop hoping. Now, go write
something that will take your mind OFF Taylor
Swift.
Me: Alright. Thanks for listening. I'll talk to you
later, bye!
Self: Bye!

You liked another girl even while you were still with me.
You liked her since either a month or the summer.
And then you told me that we were done because of spark.
Or, lack of spark, as you told me in note and over text.
And yet, even though I'm extremely mad at you.
And you can't seem to grasp what you have done.
You're still my friend and I like it that way.
So, though I may be mad at you now.
That doesn't mean I'll be mad at you forever.
And I still want you as a friend and hope that you are happy.
And I know that things are complicated with her.
And for that, I'm sorry that it hurts you.
And I hope that she can like you because you are special.
So, I hope things somehow work out with her.
Because I really want you to be happy.

How many people have a mom that's not like other moms?
She's strict to a certain extent and does have some rules.
But she's also weird, funny, nuts, and a lot of fun.
This is how I would describe my mom.
She's not at all like a who lot of other moms.
She is a nut who makes me laugh and sometimes confused.
She has a love for monkeys and has a lot of stuffed ones.
Which she makes me name a lot (I'm not lying about this).
She loves Boston and would go to visit every day if she could.
She also has this thing where like most parents,
asks me about my day when I get home.
But she does it a little differently than other parents.
She yells my nickname (that I won't say because it's a little odd).
Until I finally go to her room after doing a couple things first.
Then she will ask me about my day and will want a full recap.
And by full I mean the WHOLE day from 1/2-3:30.
She decided this Monday that she wanted to know everything.
So now I have to go through the whole day and she likes that.
Me, on the other hand, liked it when I just said that my day was good.
But it's the fact that I have to say over and over what I did.
She even asks what I do here in the library.
Which is always hanging out on the computer.
But she'll still ask me what I did even though I say the same thing.
So now when I get home I'll have to do a whole recap again.
"It'll be our new routine." Is what she said on Monday.
She even made me pinkie swear that I would do it lol
Do people even do those anymore?
Well, my family does and it actually works.
On that note, time to prepare myself for the new routine.
Wish me luck!

How would you feel if you had someone else in your head?
Another personality that could take over at any minute.
Anyone with DID can tell you that it's not easy.
DID stands for Dissociate Identity Disorder.
This is where a person has more than one personality.
It's caused by trauma that has happened in their lives.
Mostly from childhood to in their teens.
People with DID have "alters".
Alters are the other personalities that come out.
If you only have one, then it is known as Split Personality.
It's actually very interesting and there are signs for it.
Like having black outs and not remembering parts of a day.
Speech and movement become different, along with wardrobe.
And then the personality itself changes, likes and dislikes.
No person with DID is the same.
Everyone has different amounts and different lives.
The only thing that's the same is that they have it.
So if someone goes from being normal to being different.
First see if they are just trying something new.
But if the way they speak and act aren't right.
Then you need to know that something might be wrong.
So if someone says that they have Multiple Personalities.
Or just a Split Personality.
Don't run away and don't call them liars.
Because they are still people and they need their friends.
Besides, once you get to know and understand them.
Then things will seem alright.
It won't seem normal, but it'll be fine.