Verse 1

I look in, your room, thinking that I would see.
You there, in your bed, sitting up, and watching TV.
It’s still strange, at times.
When I walk in this room.
‘Cause it’s changed, a lot, since the day, you left.
And now, I think, it’s time, for me, to say.
That I, still wish, you were here.


Bridge

Cause you left me way too soon.
Going on is so hard without you.
I dream about you at night.
I still think about you all the time.
Why did you have to go?
Why did you give up on hope?
I know you missed him,
but now I have to miss you too.

Chorus

It’s not fair!
That you had to leave.
And now I’ll never see your face.
How did that seem, like the right thing to do?
Cause it’s been so hard here.
Without you.


Verse 2

I still, remember, that day.
When I woke, and heard, the news.
That you, had past, away.
And were taken out while I slept.
That day, I didn’t, cry.
Didn’t shed, a single, tear.
But that’s not because, I didn’t care.
It’s just that I don’t grief that way.
I smile whenever there’s pain.
Cause if I don’t.
Then I don’t know what else to do.


Bridge

Cause you left me way too soon.
Going on is so hard without you.
I dream about you at night.
I still think about you all the time.
Why did you have to go?
Why did you give up on hope?
I know you missed him,
but now I have to miss you too.


Chorus

It’s not fair!
That you had to leave.
And now I’ll never see your face.
How did that seem, like the right thing to do?
Cause it’s been so hard here.
Without you.


(Instrumental Break)

Different Bridge

I know, that it’s hard, when the one you love, is gone.
And I know you missed him so much.
But where did that leave us?!
Where did that leave me?!
Why was it time to leave?!
You could’ve gotten better!
That’s how I feel!
You could’ve gotten back your strength!
Why didn’t you…?
Wait.



Verse 3

What, am I doing?
Thinking this, could’ve been , avoided.
This didn’t, happen, overnight.
It happened, as the, days passed.
I know, you were, growing weak.
And I know, that you, were in pain.
But I still think, that I, should say.
That I, still wish, you were here.

Bridge Again

Chorus

It’s not fair! (It wasn’t fair)
That you had to leave. (That you had to leave that day)
And now I’ll never see your face. (I’ll never see your face)
How did that seem (how did that seem), like the right thing to do? (Like the right thing to do)
Cause it’s been so hard here. (It’s been so hard here)
Cause it’s been so hard here. (It’s been so hard here)
Cause it’s been so hard here!
Without….
You.
Oooh….
Without you.

Things are way better than I thought.
Life is great and everything was explained.
I have no reason to feel guilty or sorry.
I have no reason to be filled with anxiety.
It feels like this huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
You know, when all your stress builds up and takes over you?
That's what happened to me, and still does.
But I have a better time controlling it than I did before.
And I have people in my life who help me "stay in control" so to speak.
My family, friends, and my boyfriend <3
I will love these people forever and always.
I might not be great with poetry, I know I'm not.
So, here's a line from a song that I love, and think it sums up my love for people and happiness.
"I Will Always Love You."
Okay... That was a bit weird.
Hope you liked it anyway.
Bye!

I've been thinking about this since it happened a few days ago.
There were ways that I could've stopped it.
I could've said that it was me who was thinking those things.
I could've stopped everything from getting so out of control.
Instead, I put myself silently in the middle.
I sat there and watched while someone walked away.
I didn't even walk over to the person when they were only a few feet away.
I regret everything that happened a few days ago and take full responsibility for it.
I didn't mean to start a fight, or make two people made a each other.
And I really didn't mean to just sit there while it was all happening, and keep my mouth shut.
Why did I do that?
Why didn't I say anything?
When she stood up, I should've stopped her.
I had at least five to ten seconds where I could've stopped her.
I could've explained my side and apologized for thinking wrongly.
Or maybe, I could've just said that what she said was because of what I had thought.
But now, everything is a huge mess.
And I'm the person stuck in the middle because I let my stupid anxiety get the best of me.
It's my fault, and I don't deny that.
So what if someone is coming back next year?
So what if she hated my guts for no reason?
Why did I have to start having an anxiety attack and do something like this?
I know some people might think I'm being to ******* myself.
But I could've, no, I should've said something.
I should've stopped her when she stood up.
I should've said that she only thought that because of what I had said.
Now, because of me, I get to be stuck in the middle of a situation.
That I could've prevented by saying something.
And now, I made two people start bringing up more things and that made for a split.
And I don't know what to do.
I can't pick sides, and I won't.
I can't sit with both people at the same time, but I want to.
I just wish that I could go back to that time.
Make things right.
So that way, things could go back to normal.
I love these people so much, and I hate seeing them like this.
Now, I have to face lunch and mornings figuring out where to sit.
One of my friends said that wasn't hard.
Really? It's not?
They might think it's not, but I don't agree.
I hate things the way they are now.
There's so much tension and I keep feeling like I'm gonna let someone down.
Sitting at one table, just once, that's all I ask.
Just one time, so maybe, we can work this out.
I know this situation can be fixed.
I just need to spend some time with everyone.
I don't know if this makes sense, or if this is stupid, or if I just seem like some selfish kid who just wants things back to normal.
But all I know is that I don't know how much longer I can hold this in.
I need to talk to somebody.
I understand everyone else's point of view.
But what about mine?
It's me who started all of this.
I mean, I caused what's happening.
And I think I can fix it, or at least, try to.
So, could I just have one chance?
Please?
I hate seeing how much this hurts everyone.
Even if they don't show it, I know this is hard.
And if we can talk, I'm not picking sides.
I'm gonna call it right down the middle.
Cause there are things that I do and don't agree with from both sides.
Just, please, let me try to both help and fix this.
I feel like I need to.
If not, could someone, please, just talk with me?
I'm sorry about all of this.
Hopefully things will be back to normal soon.
Until then, I'll just have to hope for the best.
And maybe, I'll stop feeling so guilty.

I love to talk about random stuff that doesn't make any sense. Who wants to talk about monkeys and dolphins? See what I mean? I talk about things that make me smile and laugh. Even if it makes me sound like a nutcase. My friends know this about me and don't judge me for it. Freedom! I know, freedom is everything to every kid who wants to get out of school. For me, freedom means being able to have a say in what goes on and wanting to be able to express myself without needing permission first. Permanent! Let's think of dolphins for a minute. They are permanent. It's not like they're going anywhere! Hahahaha! I love to write and be weird everyday. It makes me feel alive. Now I'm gonna sing a song. Did you like it? Oh wait, I didn't write down anything. La, la, la , la , ala. Ala? What's that? I don't know. Okay, bye!

Why is it hard wanting to be happy for yourself? You may ask yourself that when you get something that your friend wanted. Should you feel bad for the other person? If it's something that they really wanted and you got it instead, then sure. But that doesn't mean that you can't be happy for yourself too. I mean, you can get something that you didn't expect and the other person could feel bad because you got it instead of them. If they are a friend of yours, then sure, you can feel bad for them because they feel bad. But you don't need to make yourself feel that you getting what you want instead of the other person. You need to feel happy for yourself because you know what you're getting is supposed to make you feel good because you most likely deserve it. But for some people, they take being happy and gloating as the same thing. Then you can't get mad at the other person for being mad that you're gloating. You can be happy for yourself without gloating about it. Just recognize that the other person is upset and then be happy for yourself in a way that doesn't make the other person feel worse. It's not a hard thing to do and it's a good way to keep everyone happy.

This isn't really a poem, or a story, or a song, or... anything really. Sometimes I have a bunch of memories in my head that just keep replaying for no reason and I don't know what to do. So, I'm gonna write them all down right now so I can stop thinking about them. Being told that I don't care about someone when my opinion is different or when I agree with the other person instead of the friend I'm with at the time. I'll remember from time to time that I sided with someone else, so my friend would decide to say that I never side with them, so basically, I don't care. This is why I'm always afraid to state my opinion. Because I know that there are gonna be some people who like what I have to say, and others will get mad. That's why sometimes I think it's better if I just don't talk to people and give my opinion. I know some people may think this sounds ridiculous. But I also know that there have to be other people who feel this way also from time to time. I just feel the need to get it out that when people get mad at me for agreeing with the other person and telling me that I never listen or side with them, it hurts me. Sometimes I just wanna walk away and only talk when asked to. That way, I might be able to say something without feeling like I'm gonna get in trouble for it. Is it that way at home? Not really, sometimes, but not enough for me to get into detail about it. But at school, it's a different story. I've been told a few times by someone I care about that I never listen to them or take their side. But when I do, then I'm their best friend who's always there for them. And that hurts because sometimes I feel like what the other person says makes more since. And I'm sorry if that seems hurtful, I don't mean for it to be that way. I don't like hurting people and I just hate it when I'm basically being told that I don't care because I agree with the other person. Another thing I need to admit is that sometimes people think that I just don't wanna talk to anyone because I'm stuck up or something. No one says that out loud, but it feels like people think that way about me. But I'm not, I'm far from that actually. I'm just a very shy girl who has trouble talking to people I don't know. Do I judge people before I get to know them? Of course not. I think that you should get to know a person before you make any assumptions about them. And I hard to get to know? No, all you have to do is come up to me and I'll talk to you. Will I be shy at first if you walk up to me and I don't know you? Yes. But all you have to do is talk to me and I'll see for myself if you really want me as a friend or not. But I should say that I'm starting come out of my shell. I've made friends with two people in Theater Arts and think that we'll all be close in no time. I'm also not the kind of person who's shy and nervous every second of the day. I'm usually pretty brave if I'm around my friends and family, because I know them. Just remember that I'm a very shy person who suffers from anxiety everyday and sometimes needs to be talked down when I can't do it myself. Well, that's all I can think about right now that I think needed to be said. So, I'm gonna go now. Tell me if you want me to copy the first chapter of my story, or at least part of it, and I will. Bye!

Carla Simmons is gonna be a freshman at Bates Academy in two weeks. She was born in Nebraska and lived there until about two months into summer break. She and her family moved there when her parents were offered jobs to be agents for the Teens Acting Agency. Her parents learned how to be agents after about three years of college in Boston before moving to Nebraska shortly after having her older sister, Maddie. Her sister is now a freshman at LA Acting Academy in Los Angeles, California. Carla only lives about an hour and forty-five minutes away. But she still misses her sister as if she were on the other side of the world. Maddie was the only one who understood her and now she wasn’t gonna be there. But Maddie said that as soon as Carla needed her she’d be there in an instant. Her sister has a car and says that as long as she has a way to get there, she will. Carla is really nervous because no one in this town knows anything about her. No one except for her new teachers and the people where her parents work. Carla is so nervous because she knows that she has something that might get her either laughed or stared at if it happens at school. Her parents try to tell her that other kids do it every now and then. But Carla is still worried because she can’t control it. At any moment, even if she had the best night sleep in the world. No matter how early she goes to bed and how late she gets up in the morning. She is always so tired that she will fall asleep anytime at anyplace. It happens every day and there’s nothing she can do about it. Well, she could talk medicine to help with it. But she says that she doesn't think it would do any good. So she just decides to let it be. So now she has to go to school and hope that nothing happens. How will her life turn out? Read the California Life of Carla Simmons and find out.