If I was to cry everyday of the week


                                            I'd worry if I'd have any tears left to keep

You are so frustrating

You say you love me
but we barely talk
and kiss me like you mean it
but we barely touch

I feel like a ghost in your mind,
and barely a presence in your heart

I love you dearly
but I feel as if I am nothing
but another line in your book,
while I'm still working on your chapter
in mine

can I be your cigarette

so you can pull me out
of a black dark box

so you can light me up
when I’m cold

so you can keep me on
your lips

so you can inhale me
even though you know
how toxic I am

but you don’t really care
cause you love that feeling
in your lungs

You told me you loved me
                        and kissed me like you meant it..
                                          
I've trained myself for next time,
                so the next kiss
                                       will mean nothing
                                                         because all I ever was to you
                                                                                                   is nothing.

We cut and pick flowers
because they're beautiful.

We cut and **** ourselves
because we're not.

STAY AWAY FROM MY HEART**

It is fragil
it is dying
don't you dare think of taking it
of stealing it

I have changed every lock
and swallowed every key
because I told you I loved you
and now you are still gone

The day you left.
I ate my words that day.
Actually bit down,
chewed them,
swallowed them and
felt them
slide down my throat like glass
until they were so broken and damaged
there was no possible way
of those words could
rearrange
and
repair themselves enough
to be spoken.

The pain is all I feel
I feel empty
and lost
and it will not be fixed

How is it you can get to me
when I barely had you.
Scars reopened, and all I can think is
"He's still gone"

Tears are threatening to over flow
my heart is ready to burst

How do you expect me to breathe
when the only air I knew was you?
How am I supposed to smile
when you aren't there to cause it?
How do I keep from falling apart...
when you were the structure holding me together?

Do I dare say I love him?
I loved him?
no... I still do...
NO I DON'T
I can't...

How do I fix this?!!?
please.. I'm emotionally beat..
All I can do is think about you..
and I know, young love.

"you'll get over it"
will I?
How?
I need an instuction pamphlet
or a "How to get over it for dummies"
or a hug...

How could he have done this?
Snuck in my chest and tore out my smile
and my vision,
leaving me blind, cold and empty.

I left you,
I promised myself I would
to keep you safe
from this ****** up world's view.

If I left, then why does it feel like you took everything,
I just want to smile..
some nights I wish I had never met you
and never opened my heart.

Because of you,
I lock my heart up
in a cold stone box
I've soldered the edges
and built a wall of cast iron.

Now I feel myself becoming cold,
as cold as the box I locked my heart in
and I won't open it
not for anyone.

I only have one heart..
I dare not break it anymore...