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Sep 2013 · 348
Natalie V Sep 2013
Feel... I wanted to feel something . Anything.
I want  to run fast and far away.
feelings , i want those emotions.

Love I wanna know what it's like .
Life , I need to take you all in.
Feel, I wanna feel everything.
Sep 2013 · 449
Just Now.
Natalie V Sep 2013
Trying to put my thoughts into paper, organize my ideas, but it is all so confusing.
Somehow , I know there must be some point , or that I repeat to myself so I believe it.
Life’s fast , short , ephemeral , magical , it´s up to us to make it what we want it to be.

We waste our time thinking of the future ,there is no such a thing. End up doing stuff we don´t really want, to live there is just now.
To share moments with the people you care about ,the ones you love; memories it all turn to that . But one must keep them , as a lesson , as regard of others , looking forward to be alive.
Sep 2013 · 713
Natalie V Sep 2013
Red and pink liquor on your lips, let me taste forbidden passion i might just like it how it feels.
Entertaining sadness away from here , feeling lonely and feeling nothing is it all there will ever be?
Deciving hearts playing around I thought love would come by now , there’s a heat of emotions I can not feel . Do you mind if I’m honest and melancholic just for the night? Maybe you can stare into my eyes and see what is inside , is it soft and vulnerable or all you see is emptiness and stone inside?
Should I see you , you and your life carry on around you with all your charm and bourdens , I’d like you to share what  sorrow you have inside. Good listener , missing me , missing you and all the things we had got.
Oh you noticed what a liar I am , no one ever knows who I really lie to , ain’t no one of you, I lied to the mirrors I believe is the only way to go on , get by without saying the truth .
Ain’t  youth a cheating life they think it’s easy just because of that ,I might not recognize my voice or your face , all I got are memories inside , slowly turning ashes to dirt . Nothing.
May 2013 · 728
Faceless Man.
Natalie V May 2013
I couldn't recognize his face ,He was walking with a sad air around.
Me watching through the ***** window on the bus ,It has been ages since those thoughts hit me ...
Shocking!. His illness getting him lock in solitude , i have always thought being alone was the best, watching his misarable existence made me realize I couldn't be more wrong.

I apologize mentally with him in name of the ignorant ,prejuicious society that we are; How we judge people that are blameless for their **** luck .
Second thought comes along , tell me how to believe in god in this harsh reality , does it even exists? and if it does why would let that happen ? It only made me hate it .

Unfairness world full with superficial people and empty meaning lifes;  critizicing without knowing what happens inside.
Too honest.
May 2013 · 524
Love on Drugs.
Natalie V May 2013
Holding my hand walking through the city, with raining purring down on us. Lights bright everything was shining. It felt like we were back, back of being two kids , back to falling ******* …love , it felt like He was never gone, it felt complete , it felt like never letting us go.
I saw the colors through his face  , the lines that said everything , it was pink , green and blue, and his smile made feel good; he tried to get me back and reason with reality and coherence but I was gone away , away with happiness and incoherence , away seeing his face.
We walked miles and miles he reached out for my hand , I felt so safe; I’ve never felt like that before , He was mine , mine in the night , mine in that moment, mine in the ephemeral time of forever, And I have always being his .
No words needed I know his gestures I read his looks and he’ll get mine, nobody know what we were laughing about, Us sharing a secret no one could understand, secrets, secrets staying in our minds, his malice and my naive thoughts getting along, me thinking of love while he remembered us in the beginning when it all started back in the mountain in the cold.
Years and years have passed and this day he came for me, buying alcohol he said “Stay right next to me” I hold his hand tighter, never wanting to separate.
We walked back to the balcony, listening to crystal fighters knowing love was really amazing, he whispered in my ear:  would you stay with me tonight? I fought with myself in silence I seemed so preoccupied, I was nervous and excited but we both know the answer was a yes, we took a cab and have some other trip to love.
We get there and while we were making love I knew no one would ever make feel like that , I wanted him so bad so so bad, he said “don’t worry I am right here”  explosion of emotions , colors, we came and we were free.
Why can’t he see what I see? He thinks he’s worth nothing, I think he’s everything. I love everything about him, his perfect skin, his hair, his mouth, his perfectly shaped nose which makes me recognize his face, his childish smile, his clever mind and how he knows treat mine, the way he sleeps so peaceful, the tone of his voice saying my name, he carrying me to bed touching my body with his big hands, I could sleep in his back forever so tone and strong he is, he is the man I love, He is the one I love.
May 2013 · 925
Natalie V May 2013
Verte salir de lo sombrío , dice que soy un terremoto y lo sacudo.
me gusta el olor a tu piel y a cigarrillo , y sentir tu mano por mi espalda .
tus caricias tienen la presión exacta, tu locura combate la monotonía y deja que nos enredemos en el encanto.
las cuerdas de guitarra rasgan los sentidos  y entre música se impregna mi insania .
Me gusta tocarte hasta los huesos ,sentir su dureza hasta prenderme de ellos.
Entre drogas , noches , y dulces arrazamos con esta ciudad entre los dos.
Apr 2013 · 548
This is how it will end.
Natalie V Apr 2013
They meet again after all these years.

-You again! making me come back ,I have felt all kinds of feelings because of you ,one of the mains was hate you made me hate it .We hurt each other too much every time, maybe distance was the answer I met other women I learned and live again without you.

-You're lying and you know it , it's not me again, it has always been me ; non stopping! and it has forever being You, I know I know you had feelings for others but  none of them will be as fascinating as I am ,and you know that, everybody knows that. And thought you could live without me don't forget  I did good without you too.

-It has been too long ! you were my high school sweetheart , life tear us apart everytime and i don't find the reason why fate would bring us back ,therefore I think there's no reason just love , as complicated as our story can be... it has been there all the way.

-I am not your High School sweetheart , I am the love of your life.

- Yes ,you are.
Let me know what this make you guys feel if it made you feel anything at all! it is important for me.
Apr 2013 · 556
Don't say you're sorry.
Natalie V Apr 2013
Standing i was spinning.
you scream out loud you love me , and you did , But you deceive me.
Your screming had no meaning now that i have seen you with her.
I could be selfish not sharing your love with another woman , but you were selfish hurting me knowing you would .
I'm sorry because when you realize you can't love her I won't be there to let you love me and love you as i did.
You'll notice i'm always around in your mind , in your thoughts, in your heart; in your soul...
and you'll know you let me go , when I was the one.
Mar 2013 · 1.2k
Natalie V Mar 2013
Acaso es eso el amor?
tick tock se fueron los sentimientos.
Notas musicales ;
tu sonrisa reflejada en mis pupilas y una canción cantada por mi voz.
tick tock ya no me quieres.
Me molesta el reloj , el tiempo que pasa y se lleva todo , por que no me llevas lejos?
Claridad infinita en las nebulosas de mi mente las neuronas chocan electrocutando mis sentidos.
Desaparecí, siempre , me cerraba en el olvido era mas fácil
era mi droga
Yo misma era el opio.
Mar 2013 · 699
No One.
Natalie V Mar 2013
Don't you dare to say you love me , liar , liar I'll slap your heart out until you're true.
You made me write out of anger.
I got too close , you make me get too into it, you pull me closer to push me away.
I might try to fix it once , I warned you about my character but you didn't listen.

You took a bet on breaking my heart too bad I figure out and always wear a shell upon my heart: you'll never get there fool , No one can hurt me; I thought i told you , I thought you felt my icy hug.

If there's a promise I can make is that you'll come back regreting what you lost therefore you replace it with something that couldn't be compare with what you had.

Go ahead , go with her but don't come back , You don't have me and never had; I need nothing from no one, I dont need your paunding cheating heart because no one breaks mine.
Mar 2013 · 748
Natalie V Mar 2013
My teacher told me everyone was a liar , institutions , family ,church!
He was telling me about our hopeless young generation
Dissapointed on life that's what he seemed.
I smiled and told him not to worry , there were people who was good .
besides everybody is a liar maybe he was lying too.

Then i realiized life it's not worth for any sadness nor fatalism or regret.
Life is beautiful and charmin' only there you'll find love lies too.
Feb 2013 · 327
Sad truth-15 words.
Natalie V Feb 2013
We were Soulmates
as soon as I realized
I Knew we would never be together.
Feb 2013 · 525
Life's a bitch.
Natalie V Feb 2013
It couldn't be true could it?
I need an answer how am I so broken ? How I'm so messed up?
I'm always feeling angry or not feeling **** at all.
I'm scraming in my head all the time , I am closing my eyes trying to stop .
Why is life so ****** up , why it has to be this hard?
Mommy don't you cry I'll pull you together even if I'm down.
Jan 2013 · 849
Para ti.
Natalie V Jan 2013
He perdido los ánimos con el paso de los años, incluso esos de ayer en los que había ilusión…
He perdido la cabeza, envenenándome de a poco con drogas y alcohol
La depresión a mi derecha una pistola en mi cabeza, una flecha de cupido sonando como una canción.
La soledad determinante siempre mi más fiel a acompañante me enseño de comprensión.
Notas musicales y suspiros innombrables son mis sueños de afición.
¿Cómo creerle al amor en esta vida si todo está hecho de mentiras, si de nada sirve el perdón?
¡Quisiera que me quieras como se quiere la primavera en medio de una revolución!
Así… no le dispararía a mi cabeza sin tornillos, escuchando un bandoneón
Dame esa luz en tus pupilas, dame el beso escondido de tu boca, dame el amor que no existió.
Escucho los latidos de tu fuerte corazón, los tomo como palabras de mentiras de esas que sabes decir mejor que yo.
Jan 2013 · 707
Third time, Lasttime.
Natalie V Jan 2013
I run as much as I could from you, I knew you would come sooner or later you'd look for me , you did.
We try ,tried to stop but clocks kept on  ticking; time couldn't forget or forgive.
I said no. I am not going with you , but we danced... & I ran again but you came after me asking me to stay I kept on walking, pretend I didn't heard then you hold my hand , so I turn back again.
We went to take some fresh air , I needed to think and believe I wouldn't do it again...

In my messy head thoughts fighting my past feelings ,out of nowhere you swept me off my feet, carring me and spinning arround like a time machine. You put me down and said this words:  " I am right here , I came for you , and I am not going anywhere ´cuz here I am"
-I looked down feeling impassive - as if I were in a surreal world.
He took my face and said no tears allowed, tho i wasn't cryng .

We went away and forget the world then we revive dead past feelings and gave our souls some joy.
I was touching you , you said no . "Not like that , don't touch me like  this as if it were the last time because it won't be." I stare in silence and you took my body with love and pain .We are drawn to each other that's what fate was  trying to say.

Rolling one, the room was full with smoke and I saw the galaxy in a motel's roof , you held my hand and hold me tight but I wasn't there it was too late, the moon I couldn´t take .This song was playing in the middle of it  "you are everything I love , you are ,my deepest thought that's what you are , I am who loves you the most that's who I am , who will give his life for you that's who I am , I am here right next to you and i am waiting here until the end you can't imagine how much i've waited for you because you are what I love the most that's what you are"

Soul back into my body , nirvana was that moment I am sure. But I am sorry it was morning so I ran again away for good.
the part of the song is a "traduction"  from a mexican band called " Cafe tacuba - eres"  No copyright infrigment.
Jan 2013 · 796
Why do I love him.
Natalie V Jan 2013
I love him because he is not scared of my bipolar moods,
I love him because he challanges me in every possible way.
Yes I do , & he makes me sweat.
I love him because he touches my feet;
I love him cuz' I can tell him anything.
I love him because he worries about my health;
I love him because he'll never judge me.
I love him because I can close my eyes and get some actual sleep cuddling with him.
I am crazy about him because I can be a fool when he is around.
I love him because he swept me off my feet and we go fly.
I love him because he kisses my hand.
I love him because we´re insane .
I love him because we are violently in love.
I love him because he makes me feel beautiful every day.
I love him because he loves me and he'll say it every time he can.
I do because he won't let distance defeat us.
I love him because he doesn´t keep me in chains , we got the freedom , we got the love. what else could I want?
I love him because he makes me happy.
We are not scared of feelings, or love , not anymore ; not since we found each other in this life.
You came complaining , asking for an explanation ...
You needed reasons to understand why did i love him instead of you?
Jan 2013 · 572
Natalie V Jan 2013
choking on unpleasent feelings
can you look at yourself in the mirror?
would you break the glass or rather kiss it? I would rather cut myself ...
Depression trying to get on my nerves .
I am fighting but my stupid image won't let me win , is that wrong? am i wrong?
mistaken ego with lies.
I don't feel safe , not tonight , not with myself.
Everything that i didn't want to feel or show is coming out.
Anger , pain, fears, feeling so hurtful, never do nothing right , never do nothing good, Hurting others and me.
i double dare to look at myself in the mirror , i did and felt so ******* unbeareble ugly.
Don't mind me , i am just having one of those moments, had to let it out.
Jan 2013 · 235
Natalie V Jan 2013
Love is Real, innocent and pure -
                                             when you don't see each other as grown ups, but as childs.
Dec 2012 · 569
Natalie V Dec 2012
My heart was wishing for his wishes to be me, me on the end , me dying out of love.
Him dying out of my absensce. Us laying on the ground of loneliness..
In the middle of a crowded room playing for drinks and strangers to forget for good, both.

My soul was shaking, because i was. I was your wish of dead and olvido. I was your most wanted love, the one who hurt and the one you hurt back until we bleed. My soul was grieving for the hapinness once shared and for the times we didn't care.

My body was aching from missing you, it was torturous to know you woulnd't come , we couldn't fix it. I couldn't feel my arms when i hugged you ,and you didn't back.My eyes were sore for crying too much.

My mind was tired of fighting feelings  and emotions i couldn't take ,it was desperate from the obsessing love, the memories that came at night , the illusions that kidnapped my dreams.

It didn't stop until this year, it has been too much , it has been too long for our endless love, it has been enough for forever.
Dec 2012 · 232
Free to love again.
Natalie V Dec 2012
I'm glad to tell you I no longer love you,  or wait for you.
I'm happy to know that i got no chains , no hold backs, no regrets...
My debts with the past are over, I only have heart for the future.
No matter how hard they try to make me feel down , no one is able to let a storm into blue sky.
I will love him, because i am free to love again.
Dec 2012 · 461
Natalie V Dec 2012
I’ve fall again for your smile, your **** smile, I thought I was  free
I thought I no longer had a heart, then it start beating when you came around ,again ; keeping me in chains. I hate you, not more than I love you ,but  I do .
Please don’t come back, don’t look for me because you’ll find me.
Don’t take my love, it hurts me.
I end up listening to “I hate myself for loving you”.
I'll start to write  when I 've stopped, I’d wait for you when you are gone.
My tears will come at night to remind me that I can’t, I can’t spend more time with you on my heart.
Goodbye has lost the meaning, it won’t set me free, and there is no move on, flashbacks memories of the moon the night and your perfect sinful laugh.
Holding back , I don’t want to try no more, no one more time, I was rising far far away ,and when I opened my eyes I was falling from the sky ,only to realize that you were the devil angel on the ground , waiting for me when I was gone.
Dec 2012 · 372
Him who is not my father.
Natalie V Dec 2012
There he was lying on his bed all emaciated with his gaunt face , trying to smile but his muscles didn't work anymore; so fragile.
I met him since i was a child so innocent.He came and became a father to me even tho he wasn't ;so strong brave almost like a hero , teach me how to skate talk and behave.
Now I'm seeing you struggling with death and found myself trying to give you some sort of energy , motive  for life .
At your weakest point i fear, but when things got rough for me you smiled ,
Here you have my sweetest biggest smile from heart behind my serious face you have to fight.
Full with pain and love ,Everyone who knows what is like to be with someone dear that is fighting cancer.
Natalie V Nov 2012
I wish I had the courage to say everything I think
I wish I was brave enough to do as I preached
To stand up for my beliefs
I wish my voice was heard and I wish it was louder
I wish you would join me on a path of real freedom
I wish I stopped my own limits
I wish I was stronger.
I wish all of us would fight for a better world, no authority , no countries, no borders ;
Imagination and love at its highest expression
or I wish I was normal ,no. That was a stupid wish because there is nothing more wonderful, beautiful and surprising than craziness.
I might not scream this out loud but I’ll write it down ,so you know the ink on this paper Is meaningful and soon it will all stop  being wishes.
Something different  from what i've showed when it comes to my writting, hope it makes you think of something.
Nov 2012 · 206
Natalie V Nov 2012
My poems are no longer for

                                                   you ;

                                                           Which means you've been (finally)  Forgotten.
Nov 2012 · 999
Natalie V Nov 2012
Anger, clenched jaw
Fists punching what come across,
Hate all over the place, hate everything and everyone
Pain always pain, exploding in rage
Anger anger is all that is left .
Nov 2012 · 2.5k
Natalie V Nov 2012
I hear the waves crashing against the sand, the smell of your hair shrouding me; maybe I’ll let my feelings take over…but no.

I want to believe; sometimes I think I do, I still don’t know, bad thoughts.
Into a vicious circle between oblivion and memories, what I want and what I do are different things, as I want to have you & as I never will. Just like that rubbing time for it to freeze, to stay in eternity…so it would last forever.

You lying on my shoulder, me fighting against my inner demons creating illusions I destroy as fast as they’re born, what do I do? What am I doing? I’d like to go with it but if I kiss you, it wouldn’t be unique; it wouldn’t be a perfect moment anymore.
You confuse me and make me clear, If I say I love you too, would you take me back? I hate you sometimes, you tempt me. Finally you have made it hard to resist.

Eyes closed, heart beating faster, you’re in front of me breathing so close I can feel it ,making my body shudder yours is shuddering too. slightly, lips touching , heavy breathing , you held my hand tighter I like how it feels, you try to kiss me you ruin it, we play a little longer…snap back to reality . You smile ,I kissed you on the cheek , you’re in love and  I don’t know what I feel sure it is strong and good almost divine , we said goodbye hiding hope behind  words.
Nov 2012 · 298
12:00 pm.
Natalie V Nov 2012
Don’t wanna feel him , i don’t want to close my eyes and see him; don’t want my memory reminiscin’ .

I refuse to smile at the idea of you.
                                                                       You are not here, you are not there <3 .
Then why am I writing to you again?
I’m so tired of saying goodbye, of saying no more of letting you go.
Nov 2012 · 837
Letter of forever.
Natalie V Nov 2012
Love, i know i've been waiting in vain...we are missing things to hold on to,but no matter time or reason, i won't let you go. I can't. It's beyond me,i've found myself uncapable to forget, i blame it on your smile wich hunts my dreams.

How i feel You when i  hear the blues, i got the sorrow on the freezing nghts,so heavyhearted and cold no longer emotion comes from me, except except when i'm with you; hapiness that's what you are.
Ironic,we've come and go but through all we stick together, that's how much i carry you...changes,pain,hapiness, age and even lovers.Yes, i must accept you've made weak and crazy.

You've also made strong, strong enough to let you in and give it all, to be humble and caring.To fight for a dead romance in the middle of our games ,with the rest of a broken heart ,you ,just you ,will always be in every piece of it ,every single piece of the forever.
Nov 2012 · 731
El último.
Natalie V Nov 2012
No tengo ojos para verte, solo el corazón para latirte.                                                        
¿Cómo pedirle al olvido que no me roce? Si la soledad me acompaña entre tus recuerdos.
Vaivenes de tu piel acalorada, la luz de mis pupilas con tu cara,
Deudas interiores de tan solo sentimientos.
Tu risa maldita quebró mi corazón, pero me inundó el alma.
Tu arrogancia embriaga mis sentidos;
Para morir eres tu la única arma.
Nov 2012 · 890
Natalie V Nov 2012
it feels right to say  those forbidden words
it feels warm hearing them from you, i'd be blue if they weren't true.
take as a conffesion my honesty. Don't shoot your arrows into my heart if you don't mean them.
i'd run away if you deceive me. But i'll stay forever if you say it again ,look into my eyes , exactly in the right time,just in the right place, say those forbidden words and i will say them back to you . "I love you"
Nov 2012 · 437
Natalie V Nov 2012
Gone your laugh
gone my illusions,
gone your touch
gone my senses,
gone your lips
gone my kisses ,
gone your eyes
gone my gazes,
gone your ears
gone my songs,
gone your love
gone my love.
still have our souls left.
Oct 2012 · 511
It's not you.
Natalie V Oct 2012
I know I am cold. I’m so sorry if I changed ,I’m not perfect believe me ,I didn’t want things to be  this way, I destroy everything I touch that’s why I don’t want to  touch you dear, you’re too good and I’ll break your heart even if I don’t want to, i will.
You don’t deserve the way I treat you, but I’ll lose you anyway. I can’t fool you anymore I can’t give you my bitter shatter heart if that’s what you want.
  You have given me everything so I can’t ask you for more and I’m so empty I got nothing , nothing when it comes to love.
Oct 2012 · 1.1k
Broken Moons.
Natalie V Oct 2012
I don’t need tears,  I don’t need Words  i just want you next to me with a silent goodbye feeling  and  your breathing next to mine.
You’re Leaving, that’s the end, what would never come today is the day.
It will be forever over, our mistakes, our life together, our love …is going away and we can’t do anything but stare.
There’s nothing we can do but we will always be the one in each other hearts.
It hurts, it lasts, it’s lost and magic, all at the same time…
I love you, I hate you, I waited  for you , I run away from you, but still it’s all for you.
I’m shaking, I try to breathe but don’t feel air in my lungs when you’re so close.
Time won’t be enough to let you go and that’s all I can think about; Memories won’t fade away they never do.
You don’t care about me anymore I can feel it .you won’t be back and I might never see you again.. .Those are our broken moons.
Let go…That’s what I have to do.
Oct 2012 · 445
I would.
Natalie V Oct 2012
I would love to love you if you'd only let me. I could make you smile ,i would be a good girl i would settle down....
honey you don't see we could be so happy? so come to me & and i'll show you how.
You could love me too. I’ll be with you even in the dark nights , just come here, and don't think it twice and love ... love me ain’t that feel alright?

— The End —