I used to cry so much
that I felt it never stopped
I cried about what had happened
and how he was so lost

I cried about the future
and how he would survive
I cried about his reaction
which was so unidentified

I cried throughout the day
morning, noon and night
I cried of all the hurt
and sorrow I felt inside

Now when I hear good news
I cry, oh boy, I cry!
For its now these special hope filled stories
that bring a shimmer to my eyes

I want his hands on my body
Holding me down rough

I want his soft tender kisses
that never seem enough

I want his strong hugs
that I long to get lost in

I want his charming banter
that quickly turns into sin

I want his demands
And I want them now

I want to meet them
And then take a bow

I want his mind and his heart
Although he's scared for that to start

I want him to want me
Like he once did

I want him to realise
I'm his and to bid

I made a lovely mistake today!
I contacted him
I contacted him
Because I felt low

Because I felt low
I reached out to him
I reached out to him
And it made me feel better

And it made me feel better
Because he is my escape my outlet
Because he is my escape my outlet
I am writing this poem

I am writing this poem
Because I made a mistake today?

Stop, I shout
At the venom you spout
I am fine the way I am!

Please, I say
God made me this way
I am fine the way I am!

Angrily, I cry
Am I broken, I sigh
Aren't I fine the way I am?

You are right, I whisper
I am not a pretty picture
I will change the way I am!
Ok, I state
And part hesitate
I will change the way I am!

Entangled and trapped 
I can't react 
I'm trying to change the way I am!

Enslaved and broken
My words unspoken 
I can't change the way I am?

Wearily, I speak
Confusion at its peak
I can't change the way I am!
The essence of me
Is undoubtably me
And I am the way I am! ! !

Enraged, I scorn!
You have been warned!
Love me or let me be....

I used to cry so much
that I felt  it never stopped
I cried about what had happened
and how he was so lost

I cried about the future
and how he would survive
I cried about his reaction
which was so unidentified

I cried throughout the day
morning, noon and night
I cried of all the hurt
and sorrow I felt inside

Now when I hear good news
I cry, oh boy, I cry!
For its now these special hope filled stories
that bring a shimmer to my eyes

Take a hold of me I beg thee
Kiss me like you cannot see

Slide your hand along my knee
Until you meet my love mystic

Caress my ******* eagerly
Let me be your fantasy

Tell me what you want from me
I'll play it out, it'll be your treat

Tenderly and passionately
We'll both be in ecstasy

We started of as colleagues
Professionals at our peak

Talking to one another
When days and nights were bleak

Working and socialising as friends
And then we'd meet

This friendship turned to lust
With its hot and steamy greets

We played with one another
About once a week

With strong feelings and emotions
I fell at your feet

You held me up for a while
Until your retreat

Your caress then turned to desire
For that only we would meet

Looking back I try and wonder why I did not see
You've left me there exposed you liar, you traitor you cheat!

A hug is what Im sending you
I'm holding you close so don't you move
It's warm and tender and loving too
This hug has been built in mind for you

Broken, he found me lying there
He cleaned and fed me and took me upstairs
He lay me down and covered my scars
I felt free for there were no bars

I had been tired, is what I'd said
And my guardian angel its more than widespread
A gentle hand brushed my forehead
Sleep my sweet, is what he said

As he got up to walk away
I pulled him close and asked him to stay
He replied, my love, for not today
Our time will come, I'm here to stay

He held me till my tears had dried
Until the hurt and pain had subside

He must have left throughout the night
For when I woke up he was out of sight

I looked around this new room of mine
I saw some clothes left on the side
And a note from my angel it read...

Good morning sunshine I hope you slept well
Please treat this place as it's yours to sell
Theres breakfast in the kitchen and a place to freshen
The day is your own do as you please
I'll come home and fall at your feet
Call if you need me.
Signed your A N G E L.

I freshened up and wondered around
Is this my new place and where I am to be found?

Time passed quickly from reading
a book
For the first time in ages I had a brighter outlook

Angel returned home and started to cook
I watched him attentively, not just a look

We talked and laughed till the early hours
My angel, I thought, has special powers

Days passed by and I started to grow
I even learned how let go

The past is the past for this now I know
The future is for me to love and grow