I'M NOT OKAY
And I am so sick of pretending
That everything is fine
There is something wrong
I can feel it
I just don't know what it is yet

You ease my fears
Calm my worries
With your soft voice
Gentle touch
Tender kisses
You soothe my soul

With paint covered fingers
The sky paints the sunset
Breathtakingly beautiful
Warming the souls
Of all who see it

Feeling the warmth of the sun
Shining down on my face
The cool breeze blowing in my hair
Petrichor and the rain
Washing through me
The taste of freshly made desserts
Painting my taste buds with joy
Watercolors and acrylics
Paintings that turned out decent
Sketches not half bad
Small smiles on my face
Happy memories popping up
These things give me hope
That there is more
More than this numbness
I've grown so used to
They give me hope that one day
I won't have to hurt anymore
Hope that I can be free
To trust and love
Hope that I can live again

Slowly wrap your arms around me
Gently hold me close to you
So that I might feel your heartbeat
Through your favorite t-shirt
Let it calm my violent tears
Soothe my hurting heart
Take care of my soul please
Because I can't do it myself

I have this overwhelming urge
To jump in my car and drive
Chasing the sun to the ends of the Earth
Following the rainbow
Hoping it might lead me
To the *** of gold at the end
Praying the sun's rays
Might guide my journey
Lead me to the light
Sparkling in your eyes
I have this overwhelming urge
To chase the sun all the way
Straight into your arms

Don't you stress my dear
Tears will fall
But you'll be okay I promise
These heartbreaks are your lessons
Teaching you what not to do
When you meet the right one
They are preparation
For the one you are meant for
And they are out there somewhere
Going through the same training
The same heartbreaks
Preparing for you
And when you meet
It will all have been worth it