Let me tell you about my bad days
They pop up out of nowhere
In the middle of a laugh
Or maybe a joke
In the middle of an adventure
It just hits
Like running into a brick wall full force
Leaving me breathless
Gasping for just an ounce of oxygen
And it feels like running into a brick wall
Would hurt less
I lose all motivation to do anything
Wishing I could just lay back
And pretend I don't exist
Maybe have a plane fall out of the sky
Putting me out of my misery
Thinking every thought that has run
Through my head millions of times before
Every thought of death and pain
Every daydream of dying over and over
Sixty different ways
Sometimes with no idea why
All of this pain out of nowhere
For absolutely no reason
Hoping someone might see it and recognize
Pull me away from depression's cold grip
These are bad days
They are not beautiful they are dark
Cold, bleak, filled with pain
Don't romanticize it or wish for it
I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

I sit here numb
Take a drink of water
Look back at the camera
No one knows I'm back here
Almost on the verge of tears
Been this way all day
No idea why
It just took over
I thought I was better
What went wrong

I thought I was better
Laughing and smiling
It didn't feel like I had to pretend
It was all real
I was happy again
For the first time in years
I didn't have any worries
I looked forward to so many things
But here I am
Sitting alone and crying
What happened to me
I thought I was better
But here I am
Wishing I didn't feel because
Being numb is better than pain
Better than sorrow and tears
Better than this depression

There's a storm raging in my eyes
And with it comes a force so strong
It'll knock you off your feet
So be careful
I'll destroy you if you aren't
Don't get too close
It might blow you away
My misty gale

This is it
It feels like the end
Everything changes now
It's the last chance I'll have
To see you
The last goodbye
Let's make it last
Dance under the stars
By the fireside
Just once more
Hold each other closely
Feel your heartbeat against my chest
Pounding like it always does
This is the last night we have
Let's make it count
Count the stars illuminating the sky
Lay on the roof of my car
Wrapped together in a blanket
Be together in silence
This is it
It's almost over now
Putting out the fire
Gathering the blankets
Packing up my car
Here it goes
The last hug I'll ever get from you
I'm beginning to shake
I'm sobbing too hard
You can't seem to get me in your arms
Quite fast enough
Pulling me in tight
Holding me like you always do
Oh how I'll miss this
More than anything
This is it
Time to go now
I don't want to leave your warm embrace
You don't want me to go anywhere
But it has to be done
I have to go
It's the end of our time together
The last time I'll look into your eyes
And tell you that
I love you forever and always
We're both crying now
And we go our separate ways
I look back and see you doing the same
And we stand there for a while
Admiring each other
Memorizing every detail of the other
Holding on as long as we can
The sun starts to rise and I turn away
Not looking back again
This has to be the end
And I leave the parking lot
Speeding away so you can't catch me
All the way home
Our last night will always be my favorite
And I thought of you as I drifted to sleep
Knowing I wouldn't wake up again

Honey I didn't recognize my fear
Until you invaded my dreams
I woke with new realizations
Of the fears burning in my heart
I never meant to do this to you
Turn you into someone
Unrecognizable
Make you so paranoid
You were never a distraction
I'm so sorry I made you feel that way
You were my favorite part
Your phone calls spreading a smile
Across my face
Hearing your voice
I can't apologize enough

First of all
I love you
Second of all
That scares me
I don't think I've ever
Been this in love with someone
In my entire life
And it scares me **** less
Third of all
It hurts like hell
You're so far away
I hate distance
You never know what's happening
On the other side
You never know if you'll meet them
Whether it be weeks from now
Or years from now
There are too many things that could
Possibly go wrong
With such a distance
It's not that I don't love you
That I'm not madly in love with you
Believe me I am
It's that I'm afraid
And I'm not ready for the distance again