She just wants someone to love her
Her kids forgot her
So she talks to an *******
For a few days
Let's him play music
Over the phone
And closes her eyes
To embrace the moment
She never felt real love
It's getting late
The moon comes up
A silver hair
Grows onto her scalp
So she plays with men's hearts
First person I've met
Who breaks them for fun

The sun comes up
And her bones grow weak

The song at the end of the line
Ends and she turns mean

She just wants to love
Dance
Be young again
With limitless
Possibilities

A fountain of honest love
As the days pass by
She must accept
It was not made for her

the moon is hidden behind the trees

I had forgotten the sun is moving
the moon following behind
I see it's new place in the sky

I miss you Orion
where are you now

I hope on the other side
when the night falls
someone appreciates Orion's belt

the moon fell away
sleepy eyes
I almost cried
you don't understand
it's better to be alone
than living with a ghost
I kept to myself
waiting
for you to leave
let's create the perfect goodbye
I never want to wake up again
if the sun kisses me good morning
I'll never be free
the moon fell away
I ran behind
to far away
I'll never catch up
I won't cry
it's better to be alone
than with someone you loved

the people
I cared for the most
are statutes they do not care for me

I was a good friend
a shoulder to lean on
a laugh a smile when no one offered
is it so easy to forget those who love you

the people I called family
running through my blood
disappointed others care for me more

It's november
they're living inside me
November is mine
you can't take it back

don't ask me if I remember you
when I forget you

you don't love me on the weekends
when he wants all your attention
I'm behind you
staring
loveless

you don't love me on Mondays
tired from Sunday
talking on the phone all day
I'm looking for you
heartless

you don't love me
when I love you

I reciprocate

we should love everyday

in times of sun
and clouds

we drift further away

Well I'm not sorry
That everyone's asleep
And have a life for tomorrow
Planned out

Is it strange
I like to cry out
Fake tears

Hm
Strange indeed
I'm gonna keep crying

But don't mind me
It's not real

you're never gonna get my heart
today in the morning you told me you don't really know me
I would be sorry
if I ever led you on
you're never gonna catch me
I'll hold you close
you're never gonna see me grow
today you told me you'll never understand me
I'll be sorry
if you leave me
I'll be sorry
when you're gone
I'll hold myself close
you're never gonna get my heart

three beds
three screens
three hearts
three pillows
three mouths
six eyes
six hands
six feet
   six ears
  in this room

this room
my room

i feel no one just myself
it's just me
one brain
one nose
one heart
one roomm

If the rain falls
and the clouds cry
thunder screams

Can I hold your hand
and make you hug me


Everyone hopes to go somewhere far

I hope they know that they'll never find another planet that rains gracefully


and other beings
may not feel the peace
when staring out at the rain

hug my bones
still cold

I cut off my tongue
long ago

there's something wrong
there's something wrong with me

not even I
or you can see

my veins are lovely
why do I want to cut them open

don't worry about it
the pain will fade

even if everybody knows
don't cry

oh my mistake
I know it's all my fault

I want to live in my dream
Where I touch the sky

He showed me how to find a face
in a cloud
How to find a smile in a frown

I wish
I could jump inside a flashback

Back when I was
hopeful;
I didn't worry about myself

I must admit
This pain is beautiful

so beautiful
I'll die

ignore my messages
who's the ghost
I never call

I stay behind
staring
the back of your head is interesting

I'd like to know
everything
the stars
offer so much

ignore my happiness
shame on you
who's wrong
I never take the blame

I'll never hurt you
if I did
will it even hurt

I'm lost
you haven't responded
I'm hanging

you treat me like a fool
who's the first to crack

lost
in this confusion

do I deserve it
should I be more demanding

I don't love you
if I did
would you love me back

The colors seem to change
And I write everyday

They say I am the poet
I am the writer
In the family

Should I take it as a compliment ?

Red to green
Green to blue

I wonder what's next after purple
My journals keep stacking up

And they get better each time

And as years go by
I will use them to
See my old life

i remember i had
friends

i lost them all

i remember people
had trust

now it's all
about being
to themselves

i've had so many lucky
days

now things go down
down

There's no more passion
No more loyalty
No more sincerity

Each day the air is polluted
One day the sky will be black
No stars at night to shine

No more compassion
No more laughing
So serious

All hating
All fighting

Digging for the next
Big thing

No more trust
Everyone for themselves

Stay in your home

Where did all our "good" friends go

Where did the real love go

The peace of our daily life
Filled with
Thoughts and concern
Of these days

Quiet phones
No more calls
Or messages

Can we sleep
With so many countries at rage

All this pointless drama
Over things that don't matter

When will we all get together

To accept the new world
The new generation


So much confusion
To write down

We don't want to

We shouldn't have to

happiness doesn't come often

empty

this is the part where I feel sad

more and more

better than nothing

better than feeling numb

better than waiting for satisfaction

now I don't how to stop it

more and more

A friend a friend
I repeat in my head

It's just a question
My number isn't much

So I wrote it
For you

Because that's what friends do..
Except my mind
Says other things
..

there's no stopping it
I'm overthinking it's so loud
why did I think it

heard your voice from far away
I hope you quiet down so I can sleep

one drop
two drops
five
it's drizzling outside

drinking a cup of cold cold milk in the rain
teaching myself how to breathe again

catch a falling cloud
sitting around

learning how to breathe
drinking a cup of cold milk in the rain

I guess I don't have a conscious
I don't care what they say
I'll do things my way
even if it hurts someone's feelings

I sleep without thinking
did I hurt you
I just don't know

the sun reminds me of my ego
so prideful
all I ever see is me

I'm sorry
I can't hug you to sleep

I'm sorry
I'm sick
that I'll never
understand

I really haven't learned

suicide is dressed in white
they tell you
come with me into the light

It's always too late
when you realize
you're never coming back

open the fridge
pick your poison
don't you hear the water running
don't open the faucet
you smell like shame
you look like the sadness I try to escape
close your eyes and fall asleep
wake up far away from me
in the mornings I can barely breathe
tell everyone to look away
hide my face
they pick a side
they walk away
I trust no one
who says they love me
no one will ever know me
go back inside
I love goodbyes
I hate to see her come
if she calls for me
I'll run
close your mouth love
I hate to see you poison yourself in the afternoons

empty dark

we hold our hearts

silent darkness

no light shines in

this was us

ᴵᶠ ᴵ ᵈiˢᵃᵖᵖᵉᵃʳ
ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʷʰᵉʳᵉ ᵗᵒ ᶠiⁿᵈ ᵐᵉ

some of us
are tired of sacrifices
everyday
sorry
please don't be mad
I'm close to crying
some of us
hate everyday
sorry
I hate this game
you always win
I can't find a way out
I can't sleep
some of us
don't want to be here
where do we go
sorry
I'm irresponsible
I don't manage my emotions well
some of us
try our very best
our best isn't close to enough
I'm so behind everyone
sorry
I won't ever catch up

ugh it's all because of you
I'm starting to listen to love songs all day

I want to mold myself to the person I know you'll love

I know you love video games
what do you want from me

It's hurting my brain
I don't want to change
but I want you to like me

I have a million things to say
stupid brain
the minute you're here
I turn away

I play out scenarios in my head
I should stop myself
before I go too far ahead

are you still hearing your favorite band of joy
sorry you're parents are homophobic

I don't know when we'll ever talk again
wish I could see you this weekend

hate that you're going through this
I hope you listen to this song

I still love you
I hope you know that

I know you'll be okay
it'll be all be okay one day not so far

sorry your family has a million misunderstandings

about me
about you
about her

I wish you the best
no more hurt
no more sadness

I hope you're growing

spring will come

you will
come back to life

Everyone I meet
wants to hide away

they want to cover up their name

they don't like their face

they write short poems

and stay anonymous

often talking with strangers
who don't know where I am

let's take the bus home

we don't want to go home

home isn't home

lost kids

you had everything

I had everything

I wish I could give you a hug

I wasn't thinking

are you hurting

let's play all night

summer
wasted
in humid July twilights

if you ever
need a hand to hold

you have

mine
mine mine
mine

if you ever need someone

you have

me
me
me me

and
I will
love

you
you you

Hey clouds
I'm feeling down
I wish I had the sky to myself

in this house without a roof
I lay in bed

letting go
missing myself
I can't go

I want to feel

a tear

Hey cloud
I once rained
till I became nothing

It's okay to let go
Don't lose yourself

I want to sleep peacefully
wake up in the morning

will I ever be enough for you

learn to be quiet
sleep early

will you ever talk good about me

walk away
be stronger than the other person

I can't be warm enough
with your cold heart breathing
killing us gently
loving you delicately

no matter how many months go by
no matter how many nights come to life

every time you look into my eyes
you see my mistakes

I'll never be able to erase

eyes
windows
to the soul
take a peek inside
I don't have one no more

a shade darker
a shadow lighter

where's my breakfast cigarette
you don't understand my emotions
eat up
don't ask questions
I lie
that's my final answer

take a look inside
you'll understand
there's nothing

hiding
is all I do

hiding
from the real world
filled with lungs that breathe
and hearts that beat

fever
with a slice of cold
but its alright

I'll stay home by myself

please girl
stay away from me
out of my sight

I'm so tired
of being your pawn

you control the game

when can I say game over

it's a Sunday

someday
someday

you'll say

I shouldn't have treated you that way

I'll always miss you
even in my last breath

Your death
a surprise
I tried to deny

What am I suppose to feel
when bitter december comes

I love you
\
I hope the day doesn't come
Where I don't love you enough

I'm a walking tragedy
he knows
we know
I see him in the corner of my eye
peeking through the curtain
I know he's looking
I dreamed
wished upon a blinking star
let me hear his thoughts
I'll never know

use my earrings
may I borrow your lips
take care
so lonely
I'll love you
you will need space
to handle the magnitude
the heaviest you will feel
is with my care and attention

I'm the pouring rain
in this summer heat
I remind myself
to not stick so close
you will melt away
I'll take away your breath
watch your steps
I hear them all
Don't fall
I'll watch you break to pieces
pick a dagger
to hurt you even more

the warmth of love
I swallow
+
easy for me to fall away
easy for me to breathe and fall out of love

you can borrow my heart
no ever keeps it

today I've watered my plants
please grow soon

I made my grandma lunch
hope she loves me

it's so warm
the sun is melting away the life out of me

Probably die
with you on my mind

I can't go back in time

I think you don't love me anymore

I miss our moments
that have passed away

I became numb
ever since you left me

I wished I was dead
I'm sorry


Overdosed on pain
take me home
back when you had my back

I dream of us together
I know you do too

Wish I hadn't left
leaving us dead

+ + +        + + +       + + +

I can't apologize
I never took the blame

Laying in my grave

I'll save us another time
in another life

we could've been such a perfect pair
if I didn't scare you away

oh  well
oh well
your loss

she's not any better
good luck
I'm so much better

I'll be in the shadows lurking
waiting for the heartbreak

if you had chosen me
it would've been everything

it's too late
you can't have us both

I don't take home
leftovers

I play with the strings
that hold you both together

maybe I can sabotage
this just a little

I just want you to be disappointed
and I want her to cry

I crave the destruction
the broken pieces I can take

I hope you both
burn to ashes brightly

Uh oh
She's gone

Into the ocean floor
Into the forest
Out in space
Floating away

Uh oh
She won't come back

Trying to tell her the truth
But her head turns away
Whatever she hears will come out through the other ear

I don't want to talk to a wall

Uh oh
She's gone

Uh oh
I can't help her no more

I love her
But she's far away

Hope one day you'll realize

I found a secret in plain sight
It's getting colder

woke up to a thunderstorm

I don't want to ruin it

you're so precious

falling asleep

get a goodnight sleep

you're beautiful

I know

I love how empty you are

so transparent I can see all of you

a failure

I noticed

I pay attention

the more I know

the better

tried to make plans
but there's no time to meet anytime soon

searched for ways to pronounce love
still can't say it right

we've sat in different laundromats
side by side

this time you didn't have any coins
all I could do was laugh

Held my favorite song
Wrapped it around myself
Like a soft blanket

Now I'm hearing it
As if it's my pillow
Laying down

I know there's bugs outside
Wanting to be inside
I'm scared I'll be sleeping

I don't think
I love you anymore

It's disappearing
Evaporating
Into the clouds

You want to
walk into the sunshine
Wearing all black
You'll sob

I caught myself
Skipping your song